Do you consider this as cheating ?

Question

I have been having steady relationship with my gf for the past 2 years. A few days back, I told her that sometimes I masturbate. She got a bit irritated and started calling me cheater. When I tell her its comman, she says she does not do nor her friends do it. I am confused. I don't like hiding things from my near dear ones and also there has been absolutely no problem in our relationship due to this.
Why should she behave like this ? How do I deal with this?

Answer 1

It doesn't sound like she is sexually healthy and maybe immature. You probably want to avoid girls like these if you can. Sex experimenting should be fun and when she is not in tune to your sexual interest and thinks her friends are the same, she is very much out of touch with you and probably her friends as well. It's not worth wasting your time as many times the girls never grow up to have a healthy attitude about sex.

Answer 2

How old is she? 15? Her friends will not talk about it because it's not something of women(?) that age talk about, hence she wouldn't know. Unless you've taken some sworn Oath not to pleasure anyone but her, difficult to do by the way, then it's not. Therre is no love greater than self love, cliche'd but true.

This could be a breaking point or a turning point.
1: She's totally appauled that you would do such a thing and leave you, or 2: She realizes that you need more in the relationship.

Now would be a good time to talk. And for future reference, don't mention what you do in your "Spare time".

Answer 3

I don't consider it cheating at all. Its just another way to live out some pleasure. But I think she is mad at you because and this is for most women that feel this way, they think that since you are with them, you shouldn't need to masturbate anymore. That they should be enough for you. But thing is, if you asked her for sex all the time, she would naturally call you an oversexed maniac or something. I think you should apologize for telling her. And if you do maturbate again, I'm sure you know not to tell her about it again in the future.

P.S. Unless your loved ones really need to know something personal about you, never volunteer the information. It can usually cause many misunderstandings and sometimes even more problems than you realize.

Answer 4

Many girls have the misconception that if a guy still does this while being in a relationship, it must mean that they're not good enough to please them.

In her mind, she might be confused as to why you don't just ask her to help you out. And that's why she might be feeling left out, like you have this thing you do, a private thing, that does not involve her, and it may feel secretive to her. (hence, her calling it cheating)

I think this is a personal problem and may actually have little to do with you.

*solution*
i dont think this is something you have to stop doing. it is just a matter of reassuring her that it has nothing to do about her not being good enough to please you or anything like that. and that masturbating is just something you enjoy doing for the sake of doing it. it's not the same as sex.
if you really want to make her feel at peace about this, try convincing her that whenever you masturbate, it is HER that is on your mind.
trust me, this can mean a lot to her.
:)

good luck.

Answer 5

Just hide it. Believe it or not it is something they grow out of. I had a chick who felt as if it were cheating simply because i was looking at other girl's pictures, but what is exactly is the alternative? Guys do it, and eventually they accept it, some embrace it, and some just give up and go gay. My point is, in a couple of years everything will be different, most likely including your girl friend, (i mean you don't think you are going to marry her do you? you aren't that young minded are you?) so just let it roll off you and do your thing.

Answer 6

Technically it is not cheating, but some girls misinterpret it as proof that they are not satisfying enough to keep your interest. Plus, in a lot of cases, men masturbate more than women and women are more likely to be told that it is weird or wrong to masturbate. You probably shouldn't have told her, she might think it is gross. You should talk to her about it and try to find out how she really feels and what is going on.

Answer 7

hi thjere well youre a man and all men do this and as for youre g/f she more than likely was gob smacked that you told her that you do this look there is nothing wrong what youre doing ,but future may be you should keep this to youre self ,as it is about you body as for cheating , thats not cheating ,you never did involve any one else so how can that be cheating ? it simple just dont say anything about it to her and no youre not doing anyhing bad at all ,but would you tell her what happened the last time you went to the loo, well look at it as that .......good luck and take care and stop worrying about things enjoy life take care xx

Answer 8

It always depends on the person. You should discuss with her why she considers this cheating. (discuss not argue) Her morals, her views, and what she thinks about the act itself is important in a relationship. Also, explain to her why you do it, and how you feel about it.

No it isnt wrong, and I personally dont consider it cheating. I would rather have my man masturbate, than to come bug and pester me all the time for sex anyway.

Answer 9

how old are you two? mabey you should ask her if she wants to watch. and if she says no well then tell her that this is something most (98%) guys do so if she feels like she is being left out she can watch or join in. hey I'd would rather my boyfriend play with him self then play with others! and if you are both under 18 0r 16 then just keep what you do in your alone time to your self she dosent have to know that kind of stuff.iff she asks tell the truth but if she doset ask do trip.

Answer 10

She really needs to learn something about human sexuality. It's said that 75% of males masterbate. The other 25% lie.
LOL!! But it's true. Male sexuality is way different from a females. The idea that masterbation is cheating is nonsense. Just tell her you were fantasizing about her,lol.