When im with my husband he looks at other girls but when I ask him what he's looking at he lies?is that bad?

Question

I will be in the car with him and he will be driving. When he a pretty girl walks by I know he looks cause its obvious. When I ask him what hes looking at he will make something up and say"oh I was just making sure there wasn't a car on the right side but he won't even go to the right side when its clear and it makes me feel like im not pretty enough to look at and he needs to see more. I feel that Im worthless and he wants something better but all my guy friends tell me that im beautiful without me even asking them and i feel im just not worth being his wife even though he tells me he loves me everyday

Answer 1

Men will be men. You shouldn't worry about him looking at girls. As long as he doesn't act on it. guys can't help it. It is just the way the are built. Just let him know that it hurts you for communication is the key to any relationship. Good Luck.

Answer 2

The Toyota car it means i can't look at BMW comment. Is sad. That to me means your not the top of the line. He should have said. I own a Lamborghini The best car in the lot. But I still see the other cars on the road. Tell him that he may look but to comment is hurtful and demeaning and you do not appreciate it. All guys look. I find all women a work of art. Guys are visual. If you really want me to stop. You will have to take my eyes. But when I'm with my wife I don't make it obvious. My peripheral vision works well. Come the end of the day I know it's my wife I can depend on. It's her I want. It's her I need.It's her I love. Guys will look. But to shove it in the face of there woman is wrong.

Answer 3

When anyone you're with very obviously is looking at other women, it's a game and it's rude. It does eat away at your self worth and they know it. Plus it's just a real waste of your time. Just a guess, but look up passive/aggressive behavior. They make you feel good and then they knock the rug out from under you. It's up and down and up and down. I dated someone that was tremendous looking but short on personality, I thought. We had a lot of the same things we liked to do together but we never went out with other couples or went to parties. Pretty soon other people stopped calling because he would never go. Then the flirting began and I just wasn't having a good time at all. Then he would just bombard me with attention and then the flirting. I wondered in the beginning about him because his wife had left not only him, but three grown sons as well. It took me quite a while to figure out why. What a pain. I finally got hurt pretty badly and he walked out saying that he didn't want to stick around because he might have to take care of me. Talk about kicking you when your down. I took a deep breathe and realized I hadn't felt that good in years. I heard he had a heart attack shortly thereafter. Couldn't have happened to more deserving person. . .

Answer 4

The lying would bother me. Have you confronted him on this and old him that you know what he was looking at? Is everything going well in the relationship, everything seem normal?

It is likely just the harmless male mind not really knowing what it is doing. If everything is good at home then you should try not to let it get to you. Men don't always know what they are doing with their eyes, they become pretty stupid sometimes, though it would be nice if he could save the oogling for when he is alone, it just doesn't always happen that way :-(.

Answer 5

i bet he really does love you. maybe you just have needs that you're afraid he might not be able to fulfill?
Tell me this, when he was looking at the girls, how did you know there was a girl there? were you looking yourself?!
(no offence intended by the way).
you sound like you might be a little frustrated and feeling a little trapped. it's perfectly natural though.
I often feel trapped, but there are so many good times and good traits that make you realise how in love you really are.
if you ever want to talk about it, send me an email...
I bet you are beautiful.
and remember, just because you are on a diet, doesnt mean you can't look at the menu!!!

Answer 6

Well for one thing he shouldn't lie about what he is looking at! He should just say i'm looking at that lady! It's only human to look and I hope you look as well at men.it's human!!!! Don't fight about that or say what r u looking at?let him look you do the same,but you remember who is in the car it's not her it is you and don't put yourself down because of that is a minor thing!!!!!!You are not worthless keep ur head up when u walk by a guy check him out i would and my husband knows i will because he is the same way,but we get along great!!!!!!!

Answer 7

Listen, it is annoying. But, you have to start looking in other directions and finding your own things to look at. He will look whether or not you are there.

It has nothing to do with you being attractive or him loving you. He is just being a "man", if you can handle that old saying and you will have to learn how to be around him and his little hobbies on the side. You are o.k.

Answer 8

That is very difficult to go through. It makes you feel jealous and lowers your self esteem at the same time. Two things: 1. Know that you are an attractive woman, no matter what. Don't attribute his behavior to your self worth.
2. You need to address his dishonesty...but let him know that you know he finds other women attractive and that it offends you that he looks at them in front of you. Let him know that he needs to assure you of his attraction toward you and that he only wants you.
It's not going to be an easy discussion, especially since he always denies it to begin with.

Answer 9

Why do play silly games with him by asking him what he's looking at when you know. Stand up for yourself and show him you have some self-respect. Your husband is a pig for treating you like this. Tell him so and tell him to knock off the disrespectful behavior. Don't stoop to his level, whatever you do. Someone has to be mature!

Answer 10

I know how you feel.My husband does the same thing.He asks me why it bothers me so much and I tell him,because he used to look at me that way and now looks at other girl's instead of me.It really makes me feel like CRAP!If he is looking,could it be that he wants what they have and I'm not good enough?That's how I feel.I know when he is not with me he does it all the time,his job affords him that kind of pleasure,and YES that bothers me also.I know he comes home to me,but I still feel,I am not what he really wants.It really sucks losing your self worth.