My husband and I live in a Christian domestic relationship where he heads our household. We live with respect an dknow our places but punishments are given out severely for any rules which are broken. Do other women live this way and if you do are you satisfied this way? This is not sexual nor abusive just very strict. Thanks..Mandy
2007-08-26 16:56:46 · 23 answers · asked by lippylady 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your husband punishes you? How can this be right? When you get married, you agree to live as husband and wife, to share things and not just good things but chores and responsibilities too.
What sort of punishments does he give and for what sort of misdemeanor? What do you mean you know your places? Does this mean that you do as you are told?
I think you seriously need to think about the way he is treating you. For a husband to treat his wife like this is totally wrong.
YOU ARE HIS EQUAL not his lapdog. You need to stand up to him and tell him that you are an adult and that you can do whatever you want to when you want to. How dare he presume that he can dole out a punishment if you don't 'behave yourself'. I believe, if pushed, I would say yes my husband is the head of our house but this in no way means that he can tell me what to do and nor would he because we are equal partners who love and respect one another.
Please, stand up to this bully. How can you carry on living like this. You only get one life. This is it. Live.
2007-08-26 17:04:46 · answer #1 · answered by Tatsbabe 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋
In our household, there is only 1 rule, and that is that we are both equal. I would certainly not be happy if my husband thought he could punish me for any wrong doings! The days of the wife being subservient to the husband have thankfully long passed. I cannot imagine what your punishment is, since you state that it is "very strict" but not sexual or abusive. However, in my view, whatever it is, it is a type of abuse. I also have a question for you: When he breaks some rule, do you punish him as severely as he punishes you? I'm sorry, but the whole thing sounds a bit archaic to me, and I couldn't live that way.
2007-08-26 23:00:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Christian domestic relationship? Is that a marriage, or something else? True love and committment do not need rigid rules and restrictions.
I love my husband with all my being, as he loves me. We compromise in our daily lives to do or not do things that will make one another happier. While I stay at home with the kids and he goes to work every day, we are both heads of household. My job is just as - if not more - demanding than his, and he admits that. It is just as important, as it is the caring for and nuturing of our children.
I would not live with someone who placed themselves seperate/above/differently from me. We are equals, and both bring unique things to the relationship. We have the utmost respect for one another, and he would never dream of "punishing" me, nor I him. Our disappointment when the other person had behaved badly is severe enough.
I don't think that you sound satisfied with this. I think that you know there is something not quite right with this. But only you can decide that, and I wish you all the best and good luck.
2007-08-26 18:08:26 · answer #3 · answered by Lili Montegue 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think you already know that this is not really right or you wouldn't be asking. I give my husband respect and he in return respects me. There is no need for "punishment". If there is a problem, we talk about it. I am not a child and so I expect him to treat me as his equal, his partner in marriage, not set down rules for me to follow. We have unspoken rules that we live by, but these were developed in our respect for each other before we were even married. Like, he is answerable for where he is and what he does when we are apart, and so am I. I don't have guy friends and he doesn't have girl friends that we visit with when our partner isn't around. We have one bank account and communicate about our spending and savings. My husband is my best friend. I love spending my free time with him and I could never imagine him wanting to severely punish me for any reason. You mentioned that you are Christians. 2 Timothy 1:7 says that God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power, love, and SELF DISCIPLINE. We are to do what we know is right. When we do wrong, we should only "disciplined" by God, not man.
2007-08-26 17:30:39 · answer #4 · answered by moose on the loose 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I love our Creator, but I would suffocate if I was in a relationship like that.... It is fifty fifty here, and when it goes off of that, I read into the reasons why, if I am not in agreement with it, I speak my opinions on things rather quickly.... There are other ways of respecting than to be controlled...
I guess my main problem may very well be, I am strong willed and if I don't want something to be a certain way, I do what I have to do with in boundaries... But I do what I have to do... In other words... He is to treat me how he wants me to treat him... Nothing more nothing less...
When I read some of the things women go through, I realize just how great I have it... I can't believe men can be this controlling...
Love is not controlling , even God gave us free will...
2007-08-26 17:04:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
My husband is a Minster and he is the head of our home but the only people who are punished are the children!! Christianity is a way of life and not a set of rules use to brow beat anyone with!! If that the case than what we believe is all a lie!! We believe that all our sins are forgiven!! So it sounds like your husband is a tyrant and that Most definitely is not Christan so maybe you all need some counseling!! Please understand that I honor my husband and I respect him and I submit but the bible said submit yourselves one to another!! Submission does not have anything to do with "Place" Because the Husbands are instructed to love there wife like Christ Love the church and gave his life for them!! So Our husband suppose to spend there live loving us as deeply and completely and forgiving as Christ Loves the church!!
Christianity is not Legalism and this is where some people lose it!! I am praying for you and your marriage!! I suggest you and your husband get some sound counseling!!
2007-08-26 17:10:22 · answer #6 · answered by sexychocolatecity21 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
The only punishment that I might get from my husband is- he won't help me put the kids to bed, or tell me I'm spending too much and take my credit cards away.
Sorry, this probably doesn't help...
2007-08-26 17:37:25 · answer #7 · answered by Eye Candy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is abusive, and no I would never live like that. A husband is a PARTNER in a marriage and has no right disciplining his spouse. It is NOT Christian to punish one's spouse. Dominance is NOT Christan.
2007-08-26 18:27:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Are you speaking about disciplining each other? Or your children?
I do not believe that men and women have "places" in a marriage or in life ... except to love, support, and walk beside the ones they love.
2007-08-26 17:17:22 · answer #9 · answered by devyl gyrl 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i'm confused. is the discipline for you or your children that you did not mention in your question?
but on another note, you do not need to know if anyone else is satisfied living that way. you really need to be asking your self if you are. from the sounds of your question it doesn't sound like you are.
2007-08-26 17:11:39 · answer #10 · answered by PreciousLady 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋