Is it wrong to not want sex after an argument with your significant other? It's hard for me to get in the mood with someone I was just arguing with. Most often, I give in, but it's beginning to feel like that's the way he just ends the argument. It's beginning to feel like more and more of a chore.
2007-08-26 16:32:48 · 14 answers · asked by Ms. GTO 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
All this crap about kissing & making up - it doesn't work so simply.
If my partner was still in a snotty mood with me the last thing I would want would be a sex romp with her. I can imagine how enthusiastic she would be .....Not!
It would be similar, as I should imagine, to having sex with a pro.
2007-08-26 16:50:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
To answer your primary question, "no".
But, there is a problem. And, it's going to get much bigger unless you resolve it.
I'm guessing that he feels bad about the argument and sex (orgasm) makes him feel better. Obviously, he's not thinking in the least about how you feel.
So, you need to tell him BEFORE THE NEXT ARGUMENT exactly how you feel about this repeatedly annoying series of events. And, tell him, there is no sex while there is unresolved conflict or hurt feelings. Period.
Right now, you are rewarding his behavior. He's not going to change unless you change how you respond to his advances after an argument.
2007-08-27 01:09:51 · answer #2 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing about men when they argue and it's over it's really over for them men give it no thought after the last word is spoken. Try to look at it that way when you are with him because he sure isn't thinking of anything else other then sex.We wives have been going through this for years having sex with the man you feel like killing.
2007-08-26 23:48:29 · answer #3 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that I wouldn't be interested in sex right after an argument...especially if I feel that I have given in and nothing was solved. Does he intentionally start arguments in the hopes that sex will follow??
2007-08-26 23:42:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The whole concept of "wrong" bugs me here. Sex is personal, intimate, and important. As a female, you are taking someone into your physical body.
Seems to me that whatever you are comfortable (or not) about inviting into your body is the only right or wrong for you.
Aside from that - I don't like scewing after screaming either.
2007-08-26 23:42:37 · answer #5 · answered by Me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no if it feels like a have to and not a want to its not right
as well id say its hard to find a person that enjoys that my ex wife wanted it and i couldnt calm down enough to even think about it
but my new wife its all different i guess what im trying to say is if it doesnt fit dont force it
2007-08-26 23:42:25 · answer #6 · answered by fightingstatue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To have sex must have a good mood.Serious argument tend to bad mood.A lot of people does.It normal.
2007-08-26 23:57:26 · answer #7 · answered by Alexis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This was a HUGE problem in our marriage. I felt like I was being used or something. I found a really great thing that has turned my marriage around. I skipped about 15 chapters to read the one that specifically addresses problems in the bedroom. It set off so many light bulbs and this problem has basically been cured.
I usually don't recommend books because I hate it when people recommend them to me, but I honestly wish I could buy "Love & Respect" for every married (and engaged) person I know. So try and hear me out...
It states that a woman's driving need is to feel loved and when she feels loved she feels happy. A man's driving need is to feel respect and when he feels respected he is happy. When a woman feels unloved she acts out disrespectfully to her husband, and when a man feels disrespected he acts out unlovingly towards his wife and the crazy cycle begins.
If this is setting off any light bulbs for you read on...
"I wrote this book out of desperation that was turned into inspiration. As a pastor, I counseled married couples and could not solve their problems. The major problem I heard from wives was, "He doesn't love me." Wives are made to love, want to love, and expect love. Many husbands fail to deliver. But as I kept studying Scripture and counseling couples, I finally saw the other half of the equation. Husbands weren't saying it much, but they were thinking, "She doesn't respect me." Husbands are made to be respected, want respect, and expect respect. Many wives fail to deliver. The result is that five out of ten marriages land in divorce court (and that includes evangelical Christians).
As I wrestled with the problem, I finally saw a connection: without love from him, she reacts without respect; without respect from her, he reacts without love. Around and around it goes. I call it the Crazy Cycle - marital craziness that has thousands of couples in its grip."
I am not even half-ways through the book and workbook, and while my husband is not studying the material with me it has already worked miracles in my no-longer-failing marriage.
If you do believe in God I highly recommend this biblically based book. It's not a "religious freak" book or anything but it's nice to know that it is based on things in the bible and not just some theory or pop psychology book, and it's been a #1 seller for over 2 years now... it's working for thousands of couples!
2007-08-27 00:11:54 · answer #8 · answered by THATgirl 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, you're not the one with the problem! Hell, I wouldn't want to have sex w/my husband after one of our arguements... I just want him to go to sleep so I can plot my revenge in private!
2007-08-26 23:49:52 · answer #9 · answered by Linda S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He likes "make-up" sex. Plus, he could be unable to verbally apologize so he makes love to you instead. Foolish pride or "lemme give her some of the ol' rod, that'll make her feel better".
2007-08-27 05:24:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋