ok well i had a baby 4 months ago and my husband is haivng some issues in the bedroom. we're using condoms becausew of complications with with birth control and we dont want to get pregnant right away again. before getting pregnant when i was on bd we never used condoms in the 4 yrs we've been sleeping together (except right at the start_ anyways i guess you could say he got spoiled and he finally came out and told me hes not enjoying sex as much for this reason. we tried the today sponge but hes quite large and could feel it and i dont really like it much - its weird. is there anything else we can consider as this sex issue is starting to affect our relationship and making things difficult. how should i deal with this and what should i do? anytime he asks me to try something new, i do and im very open minded and hes reassured me its not ME (i did just have a baby- not so confident these days) its the condom issue. and i mean we;re not irresponsible enough to just have sex unprotected.
2007-08-26 16:10:48 · 18 answers · asked by raspberry 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
well i tried to patch - wouldnt stay stuck
and my dr doesnt recommend the depo shot because there have been studies proving it leads to osteoporosis early. im not even sure if its available in canada anymore for this reason but i know he got all of his patients off of it so im not prepared to go there.
2007-08-26 16:19:24 · update #1
What kind of birth control were you on when you had complications? I know I tried depo-provera and it was an absolute nightmare, but now I'm on a low-harmone pill that I just love. Also, IUD's have come a long way...they are very reliable. You have to understand that for someone who has been having intercourse without a condom for so long, he got used to the way it felt, and he's probably experiencing some desensitizing. I don't think it's you either, and remember, just because one form of birth control didn't work for you, that doesn't mean they all won't work. Just keep trying different ones until you like and feel comfortable with.
Sponges aren't very reliable anyway.
Whatever you do...don't do the depo shot unless you feel like gaining massive weight and spotting.
2007-08-26 16:20:41 · answer #1 · answered by Miami Lilly 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to first decide exactly how long do you want between this child and the next? If you want to wait more than 6 months to conceive again, I'd call your doc and get back on the pill, unless you have a med condition that doesn't allow you to take the pill. Otherwise, there is no method other than abstenance that will completely avoid getting preg. The pill is probably the most effective and then the condoms. Maybe a diapraghm? There are all sorts of spermicides, but not everything works well so you could end up preg again. My husband is the same way about condoms, it just doesn't feel as good. Maybe experiment with different brands/kinds of condoms. There has to be something out there that can feel natural to a man.
2007-08-26 16:22:51 · answer #2 · answered by Emjay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you just have to find another form of birth control. He'll have to wait a few more months for it to kick in, but there a lot of choices for you.
The shot, the patch, the pill, an IUD and I'm sure there's more, there are lots of options. You need to march into your doctors office and get something that works for you!
In the meantime, you can try teasing him and gratifying him with oral for a bit before he takes the plunge, that way he gets the sensation of being condomless a little ways.
Good luck!
2007-08-26 16:18:34 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really reccommend an IUD. They place it in the uterus and leave it there for up to 5 years. Is has some horomone in it but its really localized to your uterus so you dont get all the effects you would being on depo or the pill. Its a little uncomfortable when they insert it but it just last a couple minutes or so and then your done. No more worries about taking a pill for 5 years.
2007-08-26 16:29:14 · answer #4 · answered by lovelylady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you try the NuvaRing. There's this other one, I forgot what it's called but I think it starts with an M and it lasts for 5 years and you can always have it taken out earlier if you decide to have more children then. If you're going to breastfeed, that usually postpones ovulation , preventing you from getting pregnant. There's also spermicide.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/birth-control-pregnancy/birth-control-4211.htm
2007-08-26 16:47:58 · answer #5 · answered by enchantra387 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, not to be rude, but my sex life got 10x better after the baby. condoms do cause problems, especially if he is large.there is a type of condom he can use, though...it's called maximum, i think. I'm on the shot, so we haven't used condoms in years. you can also try a spermicide. i don't know about Canada, but here in America, you can go to the Health Dept. and get spermicide for free. it comes in a tube, and you put it in just like you would yeast infection cream. oh, DO NOT USE THE IMPLANT!!!! my sister-in-law did, and she had to have it surgically removed from her arm muscles, and she was the lucky one. it has caused women to have heart attacks and strokes.
2007-08-26 19:31:12 · answer #6 · answered by lizbriolly's mommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are IUD's out there. Or many BC pills. You never said if you were nursing and that was the reason for not taking pills? I took the BC pill that didn't affect my breastmilk.
Your husband just needs to try and be patient. Your body is still finishing up repairing itself from the birth.
And not knowing you OR your situation, you shouldn't have to try "new" techniques or whatever. He just needs to take it slow with you--especially if he's on the "bigger" end....
Good luck
2007-08-26 17:22:14 · answer #7 · answered by whatuthink? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No friends in your sex life when you first get married not a good idea. For the two you bring toys, roll play, if one of you had fantasy you can do that There are so many thing you can do if your both willing
2016-04-02 01:03:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had my baby 4 months ago too!! And my hubby and i are having the same(ish) problem!
I'm going to get the Marena(Sp) implant next week... it lasts 5 years....with little to no side affects, and if you have good health insurance it should only be about 80 bucks!!! Ohhhh and you can take it out when ever you want to get preggo again...YAY!
Good Luck!
2007-08-26 16:55:08 · answer #9 · answered by allyn h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a form of birth control called vaginal contraceptive films...you fold them in half, insert them and wait a half an hour to let it dissolve and then you can enjoy yourself and not have to worry about you or your husband feeling anything weird....they are not 100% effective, but do work pretty well...hope this helps....good luck to you!!
2007-08-26 16:30:44 · answer #10 · answered by muldoon8312003 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋