I just wrote a poem! Tell me what you think.?

Question

It's about old love and trying to forget about it.

Why be sad?

Is it because I'm not near you?

Is it because i'm not holding you?

Is it because i forgot to call you?

I'm sorry for being a fool I'm sorry for blocking you.

I miss you But why so sad? I didnt mean to hurt your feelings that bad

Sometimes I miss holding you too

Sometimes I miss being near you

Sometimes I miss you calling me

We cried over everything else but let's not cry over an old kiss.

I guess..But why should we be sad about this?

I know it's short but tell me what you think of it so far.
I'm only 15 so Sorry if it's crappy

Answer 1

i like it

Answer 2

I'm sorry, but I didn't like it.
first, please understand that it's ok to write out your feelings, and get your feelings out, but that's not poetry - that's therapy - I do that too. I write all kinds of stuff and I keep it to myself.
that's what you should do with this. Poetry is just like taking a snapshot, only using words. it's not an outpouring of your feelings.

poetry is like a photo - if you are going to write about feelings - then you need to use imagery that helps the reader know what the feeling looks like. like if you are writing about sadness, what word pictures can you come up with to take a picture of what the sadness looks like - what imagery is there? This isn't what you are doing here.

I really don't want to discourage you and I want to be kind to you, but this isn't how you approach this. It is ok to write stuff like this, but dont' show anyone, if it's an outpouring of how you feel, it's ok to write it but keep it to yourself, the reader isn't going to want to know how you feel honestly. But they may want to know what that feeling looks like. What does sadness look like - what does that photo look like? there's your poem.

see?

keep trying, don't give up - it takes time.

my early poems weren't really poems either.

Answer 3

I like it; sounds like the lyrics to a song to me
in fact, i can hear someone singing it in my head when i read it

Answer 4

it's kinda cute when you read it. i like it..
it's a good poem......