Like this poem? no insults please.?

Question

Ordinary Things

Tuesday night the snow fell
In Biblical proportions
And piled in deep drifts
That obscured the road
And in the morning
We pondered the snow blower
Its reek and roar
Or the shovels
And our aching backs.

We watched our breath,
Exhaling white streamers
Into the bitter cold
Just there in the garage.

Having done neither,
Our fingers tingling,
Frost forming in my beard,
We decided that not one
Or the other had merit
And contented ourselves
With hot chocolate
And books
And waited for the snowplow.
Or the spring.

Answer 1

great start, but too wordy and needs to be cleaned up.

pondering the snow blower, my aching back
with tingling fingers and icicles in my beard
hot chocolate, ahhhh

just an example of what you can do with this.

if you use this, please give me credit as co-author. (email me if you do that)

thanks

Answer 2

I like it because the poem seems to develop at a steady, gradual pace like piling snow in contrast to the two guys giving up and doing nothing to clear the snow from the driveway. I like the alliteration in this poem: "deep drifts", "reek and roar", and "frost forming". I thought some of the descriptive diction was interesting: "Biblical proportions" and "white streamers". I would like to know why you chose the title "Ordinary Things" for the poem.

Answer 3

you're able to desire to probable not be posting those on facebook. What you placed up reflects on you forever and you do not want a destiny corporation to work out you insulting your sister on the cyber web. some human beings could call that harassment. I recommend you're taking those down and save on in guy or woman or bypass notes or something. i think of the roses ones are very unoriginal.

Answer 4

This is beautifully brilliant. this would get like an A in my english class. my teacher's really strict. I love the word biblical used in line 2. "snow blower" sort of caught my attention in a strange way though. Sounds sort of strange. I think that this one is one of the better ones i've read.

Answer 5

I really enjoyed this poem, makes me think of the snow we used to get when i was a kid and we had to decide who's turn it was to clear the path to the bus. I hope you share more soon ;o)

Answer 6

That is one of the coolest ways to say "Awww, screw it anyway" I've ever seen. I like it -- even more, for some reason, because it was written in summer (or was it?).

"Or the spring." LOL!

Answer 7

I think its rather good. give you a 8/10. Try explaing evrything abit better though.

Answer 8

I really like it a lot - very pretty. Made me want winter to get here!

Answer 9

This is one of the best examples of free verse I've read on
Y!A. Kudos to you. This poem is prfect. (c: Thanks for sharing it ... gold star for you!

Answer 10

very interesting way of looking at it