How do I get a life?

Question

I am a nice, funny, down to earth person, but I have no life. I am married with two kids, I go to school full time, and that's it. My friends all live in different states along with my family. I have tried really hard to make close friends at school but they all have their lives. I don't make friends easily because I am a little shy and insecure. My husband and I don't get to do much because when we have money we have no babysitter and when we have a babysitter we have no money. All we do is sit around and watch sports on TV. I am tired of being bored and having no friends here. Please tell me how I can make more friends and have a life, I am soooo lonely. Peace.

Answer 1

I don't know the age of your kids, but you could start by going to a local park with your kids on a routine. You're bound to start running into other people there also and over time can build up a friendship with them.

Also, perhaps you could start going to your local library and spending time there.. my experience is you will meet other people who are also "lonely" and looking for friendship...

Know that your problem is common among "housewives" and stay at home mothers especially those pursuing education as well. Just give it time and keep looking around for someone with common interests.

Answer 2

Have you thought about meeting any of your neighbors or some of the other parents from school. Perhaps becoming involved with PTA or some other parent organization would assist you in finding people with whom you have something in common with.

I know how you feel. I used to be in the same situation when I moved with my hubby and kids due to his employment. We moved 6 hours away from our family and friends. I felt really lost and alone for a while and then I decided that I had sat around feeling sorry for myself long enough. I was not very outgoing either, but I joined the PTA and became a substitute teacher at my children's school. That was almost 3 years ago and I have since gained FT employment through the school system (which gives me the same schedule as my children) and I have made A LOT of new friends.

I wish you the best and hope you can find your own path in your life.

Answer 3

Being insecure and shy isn't a great combination for making friends which will make this a challenging question. You may have to change your perspective a bit. You may need to get involved with your kids at school and/or outside activities more. Maybe not at first, but hopefully you will soon meet other parents. Continue to use your kids as a crutch and take them on more outings for the weekend. I think you may be saying "YIKES!" but being involved with them will take your mind off of being bored. At least for the meantime, until something else changes for you?
Final suggestion is to take up a hobbie. You probably can't think of anything you'd like to do but thats great because you can learn something new. Start a book club and invite others to join you at your house, have a small get together at your house, kind of a meet and greet. Choose the group you'd like to invite; parents at school or their team or from each of your classes. Trying something new is going to be hard. It's like jumping in a cold swimming pool...just do it and then you'll see it's not so bad.

Answer 4

Find a small to mid size church. The people will welcome you.
Your child could learn to go to the nursery while you and your husband are at the service. That would give both of you a break.
The local park idea is exactly what i did with my grandson when we moved here for me to babysit him. I knew no one and didn't want him to be alone so much with just me. We went to the park and in the winter we went McDonalds that had a play area. Very soon I began meeting people because the same people came every Friday. You can put your child in a stroller and take a walk. You will meet other mother's it is inevitable, no difference in a small town or a city area. There are others who need friends too. Good Luck!!

Answer 5

Hi Mandy:
One idea for you to meet people ....are your kids in school?
Join the PTA or whatever your kids' school has as a Parent Group. Another idea would be to join a club at YOUR school or church. What is your major? Do some volunteer work in your soon to be career field if it's available to you. If not, get involved in some sort of volunteer work - there are sooooo many organizations that need help. Most colleges or universities have their own "student volunteer" departments. Check it out. What interests do you have? Skiing? Bowling? Dancing? Whatever it is - join something! Good luck to you.

Answer 6

Get your self some hobbies, they can be done at home with the kids around. I do wood working, clay sculpture, wood carving, beading, ceramics, painting, jig saw puzzles, just to mention a few. You don't have to have friends to go out and enjoy yourself, do simple things, take the kids to the park for a picnic, go to the movies, read books, go roller skating, go to a museum, go to a theme park, go bowling, go for a scenic drive take walks around your neighborhood, join a church, they have lots of activities and friendly people to do them with. There are a million other things you could do that don't cost an arm an a leg. Boredom is on you, only you can do something about it.

Answer 7

You need to get out more and stop being so shy....how about taking up a new hobby or joining a club? Perhaps there are other women where you live that feel the same way..get out and meet them...suggest that you all take turns watching one another's children so you can have a night out with your spouse.

Answer 8

get out to the local parks go to the local library even take your children to places that seems like a lot of families go maybe suggest to your husband to have a few neighbors over for a BBQ or even go around and maybe suggest have a block party if your area can allow it. Good Luck God Speed

Answer 9

I don't know but when you find out let me know. I am now recently SINGLE yuk mom of four that works full time during the day and is taking five yes five college courses. Did I mention I was a mom of four. yea well lets talk no life. I wish I could help ya. I am definately going to read these answers. Good luck hun.

Answer 10

You can join organizations of interest. For example, I write poetry and short stories so I joined both. I am a therapist so I join organizations affiliated with it.
If you are shy and insecure, you might work on both, and begin being friendly with everybody you come in contact with. If you don't like disclosing info about yourself, ask them questions. People love to talk about themselves.