my husband is jealous for no reason?

Question

My husband gets jealous of me talking to other men. It doesn't matter if it is a cashier at the store or my non-biological brother*. He will ask, "Is he bothering you?" and turn all dark and moody. He accuses me of sleeping with my guy friends--which I've never done, I'm just not that girl--hence, I no longer have any guy friends(in AK, in VT it's different). I can't talk to another man in public without him freaking out. I know there is no reason for this! I don't know why he is so jealous and insecure! I have NEVER cheated on him. He has even gone so far as to accuse me of claiming someone else's baby as his (when his son looks JUST LIKE HIM)!

I am sick of feeling like I have to creep around to keep the few friendships with other men that I have left.

*To explain, I grew up with these guys, we went to youth group together and it has always been platonic between us. We are like blood.

Why won't he trust me? I have never lied to him! I feel like it is poisoning our relationship..

Oh and I am also sick of feeling like I'm doing something wrong if a man talks to me. The only people I "can" talk to that are other males are HIS friends, who he apparently trusts more than me. Like, when he was on the Slope (8 weeks on, 2 weeks off), he would have his friend A. check up on me, and never accused me of "cheating" on him once with A. even though A. came over all the time just to hang out, we are friends too.

Answer 1

I'd give him a choice: get counseling to figure out what his problem is, or lose you. Most men who are like this just like control, as in they want to control the women in their life, and until they get help, they won't change. I'm a guy who has women friends, and when I was in a long-term relationship with a woman, she never worried about my being friends with women. I don't know how long you've been with your husband, but my bet is that given enough time, he'll try to isolate you from your friends (male and female) and your family. In other words, being the control freak that he seems to be, he'll be just like any other batterer--verbally or emotionally, or physically. He needs professional help. You can't fix the problem on your own.

Answer 2

My sister-in-law is going through this with my brother-in-law - she is on the verge of divorce. This is just one aspect of his personality that has to maintain control over you. Eventually there will be more. It's been my experience (from the outside looking in) that you need to leave him for a while and insist that he get help with his control issues before you give him any hope of getting back together. It is poisoning your relationship and eventually it will make you question whether or not it is your fault for making him act this way or whether or not you are going insane (trust me - it will make you question your sanity) - get out before that happens. You deserve respect and trust from him and if he can't give you that then he has the problem, not you. Just telling him that you want him to get help isn't going to make him do it - you actually have to make him understand how it feels for you not to be there for him to control.

Answer 3

He's now not my husband but, however I do have a pal that I'm 'now not allowed to speak to.' And the humorous factor is, is they have been peers earlier than I met my boyfriend. They were peers all by way of university, up till their freshman 12 months while my pal transformed university districts and so they simply stopped speakme. We(my pal) consistently favored each and every different, however I wasn't secure with the age change (three years, now not so much now, however plenty in prime/core university), so we certainly not dated. After we knew each and every different for four years, and kinda-sorta moved on, dated different men and women, and I met my present boyfriend and we began occurring a couple of dates, after which determined to 'formally' be boyfriend/female friend. After a 12 months or so, we broke up, and I began speakme to my pal plenty greater than I were in recent times, and we went out on one truly date, and frolicked as his situation alot, and we slept in combination as soon as, after which determined that relationship simply wasn't what our courting used to be all approximately. We were not intended in any respect to be something greater than peers, and we take delivery of it. But then a couple of months later, I obtained again along with my present boyfriend, and now he does not feel that I must talk to my pal anymore. We do not infrequently see each and every different as it's, considering the fact that he moved approximately an hour and a part away, however my boyfriend is satisfied that if we even e mail each and every different, I'll depart him for my pal. It's particularly frustrating, motive I shouldn't have very many peers, and those who I do have in general moved away or are completing university nonetheless. The handiest men and women I speak to are my boyfriend, my 6 month historical, and our instantaneous household individuals, and there is only a few topics and a few amusing available that can not be had with the ones men and women. And then again, he is a complete hypocrite, considering the fact that one in all his peers is residing with a lady that he fooled round on me with (a protracted, lengthy, time in the past, and what we broke up over), and he thinks it is k to head hang around with them, with out me. It's a complete double-normal and it isn't reasonable. And I've long gone on for rather a whilst, so I feel I'll give up now...

Answer 4

Been there and done that~ Your guy also must have a low self-esteem issue, this was the problem with my ex- This relationship can not get better if the problem is not addressed, you don't want it to eventually turn physically abusive, it's already at the mental abuse level. Have a sit down with him and address your concerns if that doesn't work... WALK AWAY..

Answer 5

Wow He is so insecure about him self !! Tell him you love him and that this is really starting to put a strain on your relationship. If he doesn't stop accusing you of cheating you need to tell him you might leave him. May be it would be a wake up call.

Answer 6

Not too good of a situation huh? There's some people that are really just so insecure about themselves and they don't even realize that they are hurting the people that love them so much. Talk to him and be honest to him. Tell him exactly how you feel. Maybe he will at least try??? Good luck!!!

Answer 7

I dealt with that; PLEASE make sure you do NOT get pregnat again...for in your situation it IS going to get worse..and you have to face this fact===you WILL get a divorce...I eventually left and couldn''t let him know where I'd moved...& finally I learned he had died so I finally breathed easier. BELIEVE MY WORDS..there is NOTHING you can do to change this as it's in his MIND, & no proof on earth will be enough...if you're honest you will admit you already know you can't live like you are...just DON'T make it worse for yourself by having more kids...there's a lot of help, today, for women...not like during my terrible time. Good luck

Answer 8

when you are married you stop all one on one friends ships with other men, you of course can go out with your husband with other guys and girls, but you don't have any what you call a friends ship with these guys anymore. (unless they are gay) the same with your husband, is he have lunch or going out or talking with other women?
you are giving him a reason to be jealous. if wanted to keep other bf you should not have gotten married

Answer 9

Dear young lady, Your husband is in secured he need to see somebody about this problem you need to sit and talk to him about this, you'll living a miserable life, he needs a counselor.

Answer 10

he isn't jealous. he's a control freak and you won't change him. you might want to rethink this relationship. guys like this can be very dangerous.