I have a friend (honest) that began an affair with a married co-worker. She then found out that his wife was pregnant and wants out but he starts being very mean and then very sweet to her. ( I know...typical emotional abusive behavior) She really regrets what she has done and knows that there is no excusing her own behavior but she really wants to do damage control at this point. He also happens to work directly across the hall from her. Please don't give thoughts on how she deserves it now, she was going through an extremely rough time when it began ( her husand deserted her and her mother died all in the same week and she was in a really bad place) I really just need to help her figure out how to fix this mess as best as possible. Changing jobs is not possible either.
2007-08-26 14:01:42 · 10 answers · asked by zogetta3 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She needs to just stop being available for him. Period.
No personal conversations, strickly business only. No lunches or time alone with him. If she has to be somewhere with him, then take along another person. Leave the door open if she just has to do business with him. No emails, IM's or any other unnecessary communications. End any flirtations. If he gets out of line, just walk away or ask him to leave the office.
If he messages, then just delete them without an answer, or block his number if you can. He'll get over it soon enough, so will she.
Just tell him that she is no longer interested in any more from him other than a 'business' relationship. That he needs to concentrate on his wife and growing family. If he threatens her or her job in anyway, then let him know that it is harassment and if necessary, she will be consulting HR or an attorney. And if that isn't enough, maybe the wife will have to know if he doesn't withdraw and keep his distance, that might be enough to get him away from her.
She has enough problems, this man is NOTHING but further pain for her. He is trouble and nothing but more drama in her life. She deserves better than this cheating man with all his baggage.
2007-08-26 18:09:46 · answer #1 · answered by joyh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most men don't want anything more from an affair than someone to talk to and sex. If your friend states clearly her reasons for wanting to break things off. She should also tell him that she is looking for something more in the open and permanent and that she is wasting her life with affairs. This should back him off.
She should start dating someone else openly so that her problem man sees that she has moved on and means what she says.
2007-08-26 14:21:42 · answer #2 · answered by whiner_cooler 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well you should simply ignore him. Remember: Once a cheater always a cheater. Hes probably one of those guys who just uses women for his own sexual gain. You should definitely work on your marriage. However, it would be good fi you could probably tell your husband about this. Being honest helps a marriage. I don't think you can just keep ths whole thing a secret and move on. Trust me. it will come back to haunt you in the end, and he will find out in a worser way. Do the right thing, yes you might have a family to think about, but hiding this sort of thing doesn't work out well in the end.
2016-05-18 22:04:22 · answer #3 · answered by pamela 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would you whorey friend feel happy that if she was married and her husband cheating on her with some co-worker? How could she even do this to anyone in the first place? She deserves all that **** that's making her miserable. No regret is enuff for this behavior. I can't speak mercifully on ppl who ruin others' relationships like that.
2007-08-26 15:14:40 · answer #4 · answered by Simplygreat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok if he is trying to pursue her over and over tell him that she will find a way to tell his wife if he didn't leave her alone. that is onlyif she truely wants to end it. if she likes him just being there then she can just do whatver she is doing rite now. i feel so bad for the wife. how a pregnant person is going thru all this w/o knowing anything.
i hope god forgives her
2007-08-27 10:20:27 · answer #5 · answered by baby doll 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she shouldn't fear any possible revenge from this man. he's the one who screwed up here. she just needs to say she's done. period. he'll be mean just to get his way. let him try it. all she needs to do is go to her superviser if he does. i'm willing to bet he won't put himself out there and admit to having an affair while he's married to a pg wife.
2007-08-26 14:37:05 · answer #6 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she's just going to have to wait it out. Time really does heal all wounds. 10 years from now she'll look back and say "wow, I thought that'd never be over".
2007-08-26 14:13:38 · answer #7 · answered by renamed 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
changing jobs is possible. she just doesn't want to do it. in order for her to move on, she needs to make a clean break. that's the only grasp she is going ot have on the situation. just be glad she's not the one pregnant. this situation has been done before and can be cleaned up. she just has to want to clean it up.
2007-08-26 14:10:57 · answer #8 · answered by Isabella S 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The best way to end an affair, is to never let it happen.
2007-08-26 14:35:49 · answer #9 · answered by lwomar 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
http://www.psychicmargo.net
2007-08-26 16:29:10 · answer #10 · answered by Paula J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋