Why Put So Much Emphasis On Sexual Orientation?

Question

Why don't gay people place more emphasis on WHO they are as a person rather than their sexual orientation? We are all human beings and we're not going to be liked by everyone. Most all people are bullied for one reason or another. A TRUE friend will accept you or like you for who you are NOT what you are. Has anyone ever told you they like you only because of your orientation? Wouldn't it be more important to worry about who you are and not what you are?

Yes I am gay and not in the closet, but I don't understand why it is necessary for others to know that one is gay.
I do not care if people are heterosexual or anything else. A big problem with a lot of gay people is, they like to flaunt their sexuality; what I am saying is, it's more important for others to know someone as a person rather than a gay or lesbian or bisexual or whatever.

Jon M. What are you talking about......criminals and legally unable to attend a spouses funeral????? Where do you live?????

It's like this.....Gay people haven't been allowed to marry in the US in like..... FOREVER, so why the big deal now? We have survived for all these years and now all of a sudden the marriage issue arises.

JON JON JON..... I live in the USA and in the SOUTH. I am not trying to argue with you, but.....I have worked in the medical profession for a long time; I have NEVER been harassed or fired because of my orientation. I know many, many, gay and lesbian nurses and they are still working today. I have a friend that is a school teacher and is very much employed. As a matter of fact, most schools and colleges, and most major employers are now adding the clause that you will not be discriminated against because of your orientation in to job applications.
As far as funerals, I haven't heard of a case like that. I do know that some families have taken things away from partners in death cases. I did watch a film about that in class. I think it's wrong to do that, and I think things will change, but not tomorrow. Until it does, we will have to make the best of it.

Answer 1

Um...I think you're playing into a big stereotype here.

Most of my friends & myself are a little bit on the butch side. But, we're not trying to "flaunt our sexuality." It's just who we are. We don't act & dress like we do to say "Look at me, I'm a dyke!" We're just...us. I honestly don't know anyone who introduces themselves like "Hi, my name is so-and-so, and I'm a lesbian."

And the point you make about true friends...it sounds like you're comfortable in your sexuality which is great. But, most people aren't, especially when they're just coming out to themselves! It's kind of hard to tell your family & friends who you really are, when you're just discovering it for yourself.

Answer 2

It is a shame, that this is so. However, you're placing the total blame for this emphasis on the shoulders of gays. Should not the heterosexual population also share in this? Here's an example, my small town of 1,200 a lot of people know I'm gay, and a lot of people don't. However, just yesterday, after informing my neighbor of 15 years of his son peeling out in my driveway, and tossing rocks on my boulevard and front yard, I heard him say as I'm walking back to my house.... "He's a butt poker." And in this small town, I make NO big deal of my sexuality, so-called straight people do.

Answer 3

Tell you what, bud: when heteros start placing more emphasis on WHO I am as a person rather than my sexual orientation, when they stop trying to make laws against me and the people I love, keeping us from such a basic, equal right as MARRIAGE, declassifying us as criminals for daring to follow our hearts instead of what society tries to force on us, then we'll talk, ok?

We're not talking just "accepting or liking as friends." We're talking about one section of American trying to keep another section down, under their thumb, criminals, unable to marry, unable to legally attend the funerals of our spouses, unable to stop hateful bigotted people from taking everything we have just because of our sexuality. This goes a LOT deeper than just "being liked by everyone," pal.

If heteros -- you sure are talking like one if you're not -- stop putting so much emphasis on my sexuality, I will GLADLY stop defending it so loudly.

Deal?

Answer 4

I'm out of the closet but I don't tell new people I meet that I'm gay. I just 'let it happen' in natural conversation.
Mom said this to me several years ago," I know you're gay, but why do you have to go to those parades and tell everyone. If you don't say anything, they won't know." I told her, "Exactly!... they wouldn't know and they need to put a face to gay so the next time they want to hate, they will picture me."

Answer 5

What do you consider emphasis? Some folks consider gay folks to be emphasizing their orientation when they just talk about their partner!
Personally, I don't "emphasize", but I do make a point of discussing what my partner and I did over the weekend - just like all my other co-workers do!

Answer 6

I think it's more their gender expression than their sexual orientation. Masculine gay men and feminine lesbians aren't harassed as much.

Answer 7

I somewhat agree with you. We need to display our orientation, because if we don't, nobody will ever know, and assume we are straight. Your right about a true friend. It is ridiculous to judge someone based on their sexuality.

Answer 8

Are you gay?

If so, then I would hope that you would understand why it is an important part of our identities.

If not... I wouldn't expect you to.

Being gay is not my identity, but it is a significant part that determines how I live my life... I am not a gay person, I am a person who is gay.

Answer 9

I'm me thats that.