I gave birth to a baby girl last year and ever since that my sex drive is almost down to zero.
He has a very time consuming job and I'm a nursing SAHM. In addition to that we're also both full time students. There's no one around who could take care of my baby for an evening or so. I feel guilty about this. It's been a while now.....
How do we manage the situation?
2007-08-26 11:58:09 · 13 answers · asked by Schnatzel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just relax. Don't think about sex. Just get together and make out without thinking about going all the way. Kisses and caresses. Go very slow. It will come back to you. Your husband has to understand the phase you are going through. It will come. Good luck.
2007-08-26 12:09:30 · answer #1 · answered by elgil 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not unusual to have a lowered sex drive considering you are nursing and probably not gaining any sleep. The other issue may be that you don't feel particularly sexy -- when was the last time you treated yourself to an at home beauty treatment and dressed up for yourself to remind yourself that once upon a time, well, there's a reason why this child came into being. You will have to make time, you and your husband. Find someone to babysit. Ask around or call a relative to take care of the baby. Wean the baby off the breastmilk so the child can be fed by the bottle with someone else or start pumping milk to have the baby stay over someone else's house overnight. The hubby could take the day off and the two of you can just over sleep luxuriously, order in chinese food and just love each other. Find or make the time as taking each other for granted is the last thing you two should be doing to each other. Now that the child is here, you need to remind him and he needs to remind you more than ever, that showing affection for each other and making time for each other is just as important now than it's ever been. For the sake of your marriage.
2007-08-26 12:10:14 · answer #2 · answered by brilliantyetconfused 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a mother, a student and have a full time job. Our daughter is 5 years old and you have to make time for romance. Sometimes I may be dead tired but I get all glamed up after I put my daughter to bed. I then lock myself in my room w/ my hubby and let the romance begin. Husbands need to feel loved even though where the hardest working people on the planet. Women have a lot on their shoulders and that's what makes us strong. Motherhood shouldn't let your sex drive go to 0. I suggest talking with your OB/Gyn Dr. and ask what can you do to raise your sex drive. Don't be embarassed asking your DR. They are the best source to ask since they understand all the changes a woman goes through after birth. Good luck!
2007-08-26 12:13:38 · answer #3 · answered by C C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go to the doctor and have my hormones checked just to ensure it's not a problem with a hormonal imbalance. You can still have romance at home just the two of you, rent a movie and find time together after the baby goes down for the night. Take it slow, you could take a bubble bath together. But you have got to find some time to bond just the two of you. Get a baby sitter, your child is a year old and can go without nursing for awhile.
2007-08-26 12:13:10 · answer #4 · answered by Wicked Good 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your both very busy, but that's no excuse for letting all of the romance go. If nothing else, try taking a shower together in the evenings once you've put the baby to bed. Or, if you have to invite a reletive to come and watch the baby for a day or 2. I don't know any aunt's or grandmothers who would'nt just jump at the chance.
2007-08-26 12:05:46 · answer #5 · answered by worldtraveler434 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either find someone to take care of the baby so you can please your husband or let someone else do it. I know of women in this situation who have basically thrown up their hands and allowed their spouse to be with another woman.
Yea, everyone's going to shake their heads at me and give me thumbs down. But listen.... I can damn near guarantee you that he's doing it already. A man doesn't go that long without sex. I would bet you any amount of money he's getting it somewhere. Wouldn't you rather know and have it be out in the open?
Either that or find your libido - quickly. Like now. Get off the computer and get busy. Because I can assure you, your man is not going to go without.
2007-08-26 15:17:37 · answer #6 · answered by meagain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im most case sex drive in women are cause by defficience in vitamin in your body. The more you take, it would cause you have feeling and desire to have sex. this is a natural way to get your sex drive. As far a your job is concerned, find way to be have a sometime together at least three time a week.
secondly, he should tease you and in the process you will be in a mood of having sex. Sometimes even if you don't are not in a mood, act like one instead of withdrawing
2007-08-26 12:24:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to relax...have a glass of wine and enjoy the ride. Put the baby down earlier and the pair of you enjoy a nice bubble bath.
You knew what it took to have have that baby...just go back and do the same thing.
Good Luck.
2007-08-26 12:05:56 · answer #8 · answered by Wanna-be-Dear-Abby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put the baby down to sleep create a nice late night snack (wine, fruit cheese chocolate whatever) and set one simple rule. No talking about baby or school. Reconnect on the you guys level, and it will lead to romance. Hopefully the baby doesn't sleep with you or forget it.
2016-05-18 21:27:30 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Plan a date. Put it on your calander in PEN and act like you did when you dated. No talk about babies or school. Relax and enjoy. Make sure to have your baby fed and sleeping and then you can relax and enjoy the time alone with Hubby.
2007-08-26 12:06:43 · answer #10 · answered by mjaj42000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋