Why do people (healthy, regular) feel uncomfortable around mentally disabled people?

Question

I've noticed that people are always uncomfortable with the mentally disabled. Even I am, sometimes. Why is that? How can I stop doing that? I don't want to be uncomfortable, I just get like that all of a sudden and I don't know why.

Answer 1

My compliments on your attitude. As to why--it's the result of the culture you/we/everyone has grown up in. It comes frome a thousand messages that you don't even realize Some are well-intentioned--parents tellingchildren "don't stare,its not polite"--which also tells the child "somethings wrong."

Jokes, image, myths that people who are "metal" are somehow dangerous, etc. Even when a person like yourself isn't buying into all the negative crap--its not that easy to escape that subconscious assumptions.

But--if you're really serious, there's a very straightforward and guaranteed way to get over your discomfort: take the initiative to get to know some mentally disabled people. You can do this with a neighbor, classmate-r volunteer in a community program providing help to those with mental disabilities.

You'll be uncomfortable at first, sure. But after you get to know them, they will become familier to you--and the discomfort will vanish.

Good luck! :)

Answer 2

There are already enough good answers here so I am not going ot add to it.

I am just concerned at the question "Why do people (healthy, regular) feel uncomfortable ...?" That is a gross generalisation and a sweeping statement. I am - I think I am - "healthy" and "regular" bu I DO NOT feel uncomfortable aroudn such people - even BEFORE I learnt about disability issues . My culture and the way I was brought up - I always look at people as people. And I am sure there are LOTS of people out there who DO NOT feel uncomfortable around mentally disabed people. This is mostly a "Western" attitude. In Asia - the disability rights and services might not be as good as the western world, but people's attitude is more accepting.

Answer 3

Sometimes it's difficult to know how to relate to them just right. They don't see things the way "normal" people see them. And they act different. Most people are not taught how to handle different behavior and thought patterns, so they feel uncomfortable. It's a normal reaction, really.

When people find out my father is bipolar with a schizo-typal personality disorder, they don't know how to handle him. And if he's having a bad day, no one needs to tell anyone that he has a mental disorder. It's that obvious. Sometimes people tell him he's being inappropriate. Others avoid him and then talk behind his back. They think he's acting out for attention. He's not. The way people treat him hurts him horribly. Most people won't even give him a chance when they find out. They treat him like he's stupid or dangerous. (He is neither.)

I think another reason that people act this way is due to the rarity of seeing mentally disabled people portrayed in a positive light. There's either some horror story going on in the news about a mentally disabled person who acted out or a negative portrayal in a movie about a mentally disabled person. There's very little awareness about what the mentally disabled are really like.

When you find yourself feeling uncomfortable, just remind yourself that these are people, too. They may act a little differently, but if you give them the benefit of the doubt, put up with their little quirks and treat them like fellow members of society, it won't be so uncomfortable to be around them.

Answer 4

As a mom of a child w/ a mental disability I can tell you that I notice ppl shy away from him because, I believe, they are 'afraid' of him. Not because he is violent or bad, it's just they don't know how to 'deal' with him. He is a sweet kid & many times ppl see the lable & not the person.

I do not tell ppl ahead of time that my child has autism (he is very high functioning). This way they do treat him as a 'normal' kid and they see him as a normal kid (w/ a few issues).
It is undertsandable that some ppl are uncomfortable, the best advice I would give someone, is to just hunker down and go with it.
When I go into my son's classroom I feel a little overwhelmed. I know my son's conditions & his issues but I don't know the other kids & their behaviors or issues. The point is not to treat them all the same & know that they all have different needs. I think most of it is ppl just don't know what to expect and don't know how to react to behaviors that we might consider weird, strange, frightening or down right makes us want to laugh. The best thing is to just greet them w/ a smile.

Answer 5

My son is mentally disabled, and does things that are quite odd at times, but because he appears to be "normal"and healthy it is unexpected.
I dont blame people for feeling uncomfortable, because even as his parent I tend to be uncomfortable at times, especially trying to explain things away to others.
Someone mentioned how the mentally ill are portrayed in movies etc. and no that does not help at all.
You have to remember that there are people who go to school for years to learn how to communicate with this population of people. It is a process that is not learned overnight, and it is quite difficult as there is such a large spectrum of mental disabilities nowadays.
Dont feel bad, its perfectly okay as long as people arent intentionally being mean or nasty .
These people cannot help there actions or emotions, and it takes tons of patience and skill at times to understand them.

To sherryn~ I do agree with SOME of your response, and that type of situation is horrible.
I see it daily on the street where I live. My community has been labeled a " dumping ground" when the jails and hospitals become overpopulated they give them bus fare to my town and send them to the welfare building and a boarding house downtown.
It is CRIMINAL as some of them are sex offenders and drug addicts.
The other piece of that is that the laws have changed over the years to give the mentally disabled more rights, ( I believe to just get them off the backs of the caregivers) and this allows them to live on there own, be sexually consenting etc.
At the age of 18 they become "ours" to deal with.
But they are not ALL like that.

Answer 6

It is because you were raised that way. Up until 1968 it was legal for even physically handicapped children to be all sent to boarding schools for their type of handicap. I was sent to one for epileptics.
When I lived in R.I. the majority of the people all believed that if one had a physical handicap in the brain that we are all posessed by the devil. But I was going to church and they were not. Most times when I applied for a job, the one hirrering would say "We don't hire those posesed by the devil."
But I have had no problem making friends with any others that are handicappped.
Just be open and honest, after you get rid of your uncomfortable feeling.

Answer 7

I think it's because of their unpredictability. Also, if one is not used to being around someone like that, but only seldom, it may, understandably be uncomfortable for them. If you believe in evolution and genetic selection then you understand another reason. The animal kingdom and nature have never been kind to disabled creatures. Mankind is the great exception. If one is actually a bit squeamish about being around people who are mentally disabled it may be caused my millions of years of genetic programming. But of course, as civilized human beings, we should try to overcome our fears and prejudices and show kindness to those less fortunate than ourselves.

Answer 8

Excellent Answer Crabby.

Can I just add a couple of points:

There is a distinction between people with learning difficulties and those with other mental health issues.

The term Mentally Disabled is usually attached to those with moderate to severe learning difficulties.

People with severe mental health issues (such as Bi-Polar) are more likely to hurt themselves than anybody else. As Social Workers it is our duty to try to help them stay well whilst they are in an episode. It is unlikely, in everyday life that you will come across many people with severe mental health issues who is actually experiencing a mental health episode at that time. Medication, stabilizes mood and helps prevent episodes.

Most people with learning difficulties particularly when the learning difficulty is more than mild, need support from other people. Again it is unlikely that you will actually experience anybody who has severe learning difficulties AND CHALLENGING BEHAVIOURS without that person being supported by someone else. Unless you go to work or do voluntary work in one of the specialist schools or units.

The National Press sensationalize the very few cases where other people have been injured by people whilst actually in a mental health episode so that it is blown totally out of proportion. These are people with MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES NOT THOSE WITH LEARNING DIFFICULTIES.

People feel uncomfortable sometimes because of these negative images. We, as humans, like predictable situations. Again Crabby's advice was excellent, get to know people, volunteer and try to be open minded as you are being now.

You sound very caring. Try to stay relaxed and open to talking to people you will soon find that they are just people with a few extra difficulties.

Answer 9

I think it's fear and not thinking of them as people. Movies and books and myths about disability have played major roles in making mentally disabled persons scary. Think of Boo Radley in To Kill a Mocking Bird or how mentally disabled people are portrayed in movies and tv- always the pedaphile or the homocidal killer .

Most mentally disabled people are sweet and loving and just want to be a friend and be like everyone else.

Perhaps helping out with special olympics might be a way of eradicating the fear. My friend coaches bowling for the special olympics and has for years. We meet her clients all the time , some are regular little chatterboxes so if I'm busy shopping I'll just leave her to chat with them and then she catches up with me.

Fear causes so many problems.

And for the person who said we all want to somebodies so why associate with disabled people who are nobodies. I say to that person, we're all somebodies and nobodies in our lives all through our lives. what you have at the moment you may not have in a few minutes or tomorrow or next year.

However if we all treated one another as the golden rule instructs us to treat one another as we ourselves want to be treated, then we'd have no reason for under classes in disability or economic status or racial or religious status or sex or gender differences. Treating one another with dignity can't be that hard can it?

Answer 10

Could it be because movies like to portray them as psychos?

There is also a myth that the mentally disabled and people with head injuries are prone to violence. There are very few crimes commited by people with mental disabilities.

I actually heard a mental health counselor say people with head injuries are ALL violent.

He was counseling a couple, one of them had a head injury and I heard him tell the other one he should leave before something "bad" happened because she would become violent and hurt him or the kids. And the sad thing he ACTUALLY did leave her, because of what this jackass counselor told him.

Like it was carved in stone. I knew this woman and she was the most caring, kindest, most gentle person I ever met. :-(

People seem to believe everything they hear and dont have the smarts to find out things on their own anymore.

And very few people are actually interested in educating themselves.