she would like to have an affair to help her. It is mostly physical thing on my part , what should I do? what does anybody think? serious help please no b.s.
2007-08-26 10:40:42 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Before sending her off to the arms of another man, ask yourself WHY you aren't romantic with her anymore. Has she become physically unattractive to you? Or you to her?? The way to solve any marital issues never involves a third party, unless it is a marriage counselor. Not sure what you mean by "I am not that romantic with my wife anymore." Like you don't surprise her with flowers? Or you have pretty much put sex on the shelf? The first one is easy to fix. FORCE yourself to be romantic. SURPRISE her with a getaway trip to a hotel with room service and a big fluffy bed. Even if YOU PERSONALLY need to PLAN your surprise. The second one is a little tougher. Perhaps you have fallen into a rut. Maybe something about her just doesn't do it for you anymore. Partners do fall into ruts. It's not just wild, abandon sex 24/7. You have to WORK at it. And you both need to be willing to do so. I would also suggest, perhaps there is something physically wrong with you. Get yourself to the doctor and have a complete physical. Maybe something is ailing you that you don't even realize.
The last thing you want or need is to give your wife the thumbs-up sign to have an affair. Not only is this unfair to her...she married you for a reason, after all...but it's not fair to yourself, either. Do you two really think you can be a normal couple, knowing full well she's copulating with another man?
Get therapy. Vow to spice things up a little, even if you have to force yourself to do it. But DO NOT, under any circumstances, allow someone else to slip into your marriage. It will be the beginning of the end.
2007-08-26 10:51:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is much more than sex so what's really going on in this relationship? If the two of you are serious about having a healthy and loving marriage you need to seek a professional to help you resolve your issues as soon as possible. Since your wife has mentioned having an affair and you are actually thinking about allowing this to happen it may already be too late for this marriage to continue because it is "dead" even as I type this page. Neither of you seem to be responsible adults who ought to be married because there's no mention of true feelings or caring here. If both of you are not willing to fight for this marriage then you should stop wasting time and energy on it and head for the divorce court. If the only problem is a sexual one then a therapist and/or a good doctor should be able to help you resolve this matter but frankly I believe there is much more to this unfortunate situation.
2007-08-26 10:54:23 · answer #2 · answered by Bethany 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Romantic relationship don't last long. Consider passionate love. Love her the way you love yourself, be considerate of her feeling, emotions, and be there for her. Having an affair because of romantic failure would make things worse between you and her and not only won't you trust her, you may loose interest, feeling, and even consider her as a prostitutes meaning you have have to take precaution not to be a victim of STD. If you show her what a passionate love is, you would respect it and you has a man must satisfy her sexually. If you can't afford Viagra, then make sure you take allot of vitamin foods to give you strength for that heavy job on bed. Good luck
2007-08-26 10:50:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What happened is you guys got to relaxed with each other. Too comfortable. You lost the spark that you had when you first met. What you need to do is change things up. Do something for her you've never done, or something you haven't done in a long time. Be spontaneous. Surprise her by taking her on a trip, just the two of you, a cruise or something. Take her out dancing or something if you haven't done so in a while. Send flowers or call from work, tell her that you miss her at times. You gotta make the woman feel appreciated and that she is on your mind. I dont know why or how her cheating on you would help. Or maybe for the physical thing on your part, try role playing, that works for alot of people, try dressing up in costumes. Change your appearances so it feels like both of you are with strangers.
2007-08-26 10:48:39 · answer #4 · answered by u_ni_verse 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she wants to have an affair, then you two should get a divorce. It isn't usually possible to stay emotionally uninvolved with another person so the idea of a sexual only affair is unrealistic. Talk to her. Why are you not romantic? Are you just not interested? Gay? Depressed? What?
2007-08-26 11:00:02 · answer #5 · answered by Julie H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An affair seems like a really bad thing. How could that possibly help? If you're having problems physically, and it's your fault, maybe you need to see the doctor. Also, marriage counseling should help. Good luck!
2007-08-26 10:44:09 · answer #6 · answered by kuf99ver3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An affair would only make matters worse for the both of you. Have you seen a doctor? There is so much available in todays world to help with sexual problems. Also, there is more than one way to please someone sexually. Get some answers from the doctor first, then you'll know what choices you have.
2007-08-26 10:52:51 · answer #7 · answered by pussycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kinda sad huh? But having an affair will not solve anything. It's only a physical thing and still emotionally you will feel empty. You are already loosing love, don't let self respect slip away too.
2007-08-26 10:47:17 · answer #8 · answered by prettyjewel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
having an affair will only make it worse, you have already answered your own question be more romantic, ie. spend time with and on her, if all else fails get her a toy for the physical part.
2007-08-26 11:03:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
An affair wont help your marriage, get some help and talk to someone about why you cant be romantic anymore.
2007-08-26 10:44:13 · answer #10 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋