if you struggle with low esteem how do you not let people dictate who you are & control you without becoming?

Question

angry at them?

Answer 1

set strong boundaries. you can even imagine a boundary around yourself made of steel or whatever. you have to learn to like yourself. spend time with yourself doing fun things. learn to enjoy your company. people cannot dictate who you are. they can express their opinion on who they think you are but that does not mean its the truth. only you know who you are. try and avoid negative people who slag you off or weigh you down. learn to recognise when people are trying to control or mindscrew you and acknowledge it in your head.
anger is your mind warning you of a threat. never forget that. its like a warning signal. listen to it. you dont have to act on it but you can certainly value it. Most of all keep your sense of humor and continue doing the things that you enjoy. i was in a situation where i was abused and put down for years by someone close to me and one day (early on) i just thought to myself...whoa this person is wrong. they dont know shi* about me and they are screwed up. i had to put up with it for a long time but it made me strong. and after i thought that i never believed her again. do what you have to to survive. anything you have to. and just protect yourself. you are your own best friend. dont let anyone treat you how you would not want someone to treat your friend. good luck :]]]

Answer 2

Here's a trick, try it. No matter what the situation "pretend you are in a play or dreaming the best dream and you have total control and you get to act out this scene." You get to speak up, take control, shut off all the nervous emotions and act that part out just like you wanted it to be. Sounds strange , not really. I felt that way, scared and insecure. Always doing what others wanted until I finally figured it out : who cares who they are? who are they to you? I started doing just that (acting) & now I have control to say what I want & I don't care about people trying to dictate ANYTHING to me:, who are they anyways? I use to get sooooo mad & I saw red. Then I learned once I saw red to control it (the red is anger) and if it continued it became (black), Once it was there that individual no longer exists. I go about my day and would walk right by them without a thought. I know this seems far out there. But I'm telling you try it, it works. People are just people that's all and I needed backbone & once I realized they are just people I said I'm gonna do this & I did. The best thiing I can say to you is: Strap a set on & go for it!! Good Luck!

Answer 3

only one way, decide who u wanna be and what u want out of the situation and speak up, hopefully u won't make decisions based on losing a friend, for even those with extreemely high self esteem can't b manipulated that way. But one day u'll wake up and kick ur but for not relising most aren't any different from u, some just hide it better.

Answer 4

you try to change your out look of yourself. if you think better ok yourself then you shouldn't really have a problem with anybody else. If they try to control you just tell them to step off and stop. It's not their life it's yours. Take control of your emotions and your self-esteem. Or you will look at yourself badly for the rest of your life. Look at yourself in a great way and they will too. They will see that you have changed how you look at yourself and they will do the same. It worked for me. Best of luck.

Answer 5

Why get angry? Does it gain you anything? Can you add one day to your life? That's the questions you should be asking yourself. I can not control my government, in truth if they wanted to they can kill me. What is more important, my anger or my peace of mind?