to give up everything?

Question

i am in love with a man i never met, we are both mature adults and grandparants, we have been around the block. we have been corresponding 8 months, he is very honest, we are both married. i am an abused negleted wife, but always put off leaving him the marraige councelor agreed there is no hope in my marraige, she met him he did not want to continue with counceling. the man i am writing to is accross the country, we have no future plans to meet yet. we speak on the phone several times a week, we exchanged photos, he is seven years older than me and has health problems. he is honest and upfront with me about his home situation, his wife is ill. i am madly in love with him, and i am sure he feels the same, at our age, we have nothing to hide. i want happiness and he wants a partner to share his love and affection with. he would like me to move where he lives, but i do not want to leave my grandchildren and family behind. i am stuck, do not know how to manage this. thanks for your help,

Answer 1

Do not move away for a man who's unwilling to make a life change decision for you. Let him take care of his wife, he owes that much to her. Dear, I am not new to Internet meetings and as long as you have not met him it means nothing, even if you have talked for 8 months, 1 year or 2 years. Right now this man is the representation of your dream man because you've never met him. There is a lot of things you don't know about him and your brain if filling the voids with wonderful details.

Your problem number 1 is your relationship with your own husband, tackle that problem first without involving your Internet man. If Internet man didn't exist would you still want to leave your husband? if yes, then make the necessary to leave him now.

Your problem number 2 is you are in love with a man you've never seen. Ask this man to take a trip to where you live and to meet with you so your brain stop drawing him as a man bigger then life. Brief visit, 1 day is enough. (YOU yourself do not travel to meet a stranger)

Your problem number 3 the man you love is a married man.....this problem only exist if he passes the test of problem number 2.

Answer 2

Now you need to think, before you act. You are
already in a problem marriage. You need to re-
solve that before you do anything else in your
life as not to complicate things as life is for one
to be happy and content, which you are not at
present.
If you are abused and neglected with your present
husband and you tried to get professional coun-
seling and he did not want to participate until the
end to resolve the problem , then it is time for you
to start the process of divorce if that is what it
takes.
Stand tall, go forward with the divorce, and then
when you are single again and you have gotten
yourself togeather then you can relate back to
the other that you know distantly. This will give you
a chance to really see who this other person is
because if he is still waiting for you after you have
done all of the above then he probably is the one
for you.
This will take some time so do not rush it, and
you will find out in a better way if the other is for
you because any man that waits for someone
has no time limit if he loves that person, especially
when he know that person is going through
problems.
The other man also has to get his ducks in order
as he is still married and there is no use in either
of you continuing when one has a mate, as the
relationship will not last.
Again be patient and be strong and be yourself
and take care of your immediate problem before
you adventure into another, and let the other know
your intentions and if he really loves you then he
knows what he needs to do. Good luck .

Answer 3

OK, to simplify this for you....Stranger, far away who is married versus family and grandchildren that you may never get to see. If you are abused and neglected then stand on your own two feet and get out of the relationship. Don't expect your problems to go away just because you move to a new place to be near a man who you think is madly in love with you! You should have known from the beginning that when you open the door to this type of situation there is no easy answer. Be the smart girl you are, examine your options before you take any action!! Good Luck!

Answer 4

Your both married? Are both your spouse ok with this?
If not then its So wrong. If you have a problem in your marriage is one thing but if you have a problem and are talking to someone that you have feelings with then you can never hope to fix your marriage and you will not let your spouse get the chance and you will justify everything to end your marriage true or not. This other guy does not sound like a good guy either he wants to leave his ill wife!?! WTF is wrong with him when the going is good he's there but when its tough he leaves? That's not a good guy at all.
Finding happiness is a good thing but not when its is done by doing something wrong. A child molester can justify himself that it makes him happy messing around with little kids but its SO WRONG! so don't let your feeling over run what you know is right or wrong.
Like I said before if your husband is ok with you leaving the marriage and so is this guys wife then leave but if it's behind there backs then you know no good will come of it.

Answer 5

Reality check here. You are in love with an idea of a picture of a man that he painted for you. You are in a bad situation as a lot of us are or have been. You are listening only to what you want to hear. Yea. Is a good thing that we call ourselves mature. At the least we all would like to think so no matter what our age. I am telling you. Take the rose colored glasses off and deal with you first. Then your situation. No one can do that for you. Then talk to someone else. After you have taken care of yourself. Good luck.

Answer 6

you are having an emotional affair, and in this day and age it's common... i say that if you want to continue to correspond and talk with the guy, well, don't expect anything beyond that BEFORE you take care of YOU....

in saying that, i mean this: you are already in a relationship. you need to get out.... after you get out, what possible good would it do you to jump right into another relationship?

ask your counselor about it... rebound relationships rarely pan out.

should you leave your marriage, take some time for YOU.. readjust to life and living... get OUT and do some things (join a gym, take a class, spend time with friends, family). try a hobby... spend some ME time with yourself.

you deserve good things, and like i said jumping from the fying pan into a possible fire isn't the way to do it, hon.

take care of YOU>

Answer 7

Oftentimes the people with whom you share an on-line relationship are not at all what they appear to be. Some are scam artists. Some are incarcerated. Be very careful. You sound like you are very vulnerable. Check this guy out every way he can be checked. Don't let anyone take advantage of you. Good luck.

Answer 8

Do you think your grandchildren would be proud of you if you left your husband without divorce and moved in with another man? Abuse is no excuse for adultery, if you want OUT of your current situation then get a divorce.

Answer 9

If you're woman enough to get out of your own marriage, which you admit is jacked-up, then ok-go explore life with somebody else. Don't use Mr.FarAwayGreedySickMarriedMan for a crutch. Heck, he can't even stand on his own two feet. (He can stand can't he? But then, you never even saw him before). Don't be selfish because you're too weak to leave your stupid husband, then go to Giblip & screw up some poor lady's home. C'mon Granma, show some integrity & responsibility.

Answer 10

First of all....you are cheating...I don't care how badly your husband treats you.....You are carrying on with another man that is supposedly in a loveless marriage. You both should divorce your respected spouses. If this new man is important to you...more than your grandchildren...then move to be with him. If your grandchildren are more important...then stay where you are.