I want to make it up to him and show him how much I love him and how much I appreciate him standing by me with my health issues. How do I start making it up to him? We have already talked but I want to show it more than talk about it. I am still in my funk and still feeling bad but I know I have to make an effort for my marriage to work. I am in a funk because of health issues, kids, 2 jobs, etc.
2007-08-26 07:45:32 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I usually don't recommend books because I hate it when people recommend them to me, but I honestly wish I could buy "Love & Respect" for every married (and engaged) person I know. So try and hear me out...
It states that a woman's driving need is to feel loved and when she feels loved she feels happy. A man's driving need is to feel respect and when he feels respected he is happy. When a woman feels unloved she acts out disrespectfully to her husband, and when a man feels disrespected he acts out unlovingly towards his wife and the crazy cycle begins.
If this is setting off any light bulbs for you read on...
"I wrote this book out of desperation that was turned into inspiration. As a pastor, I counseled married couples and could not solve their problems. The major problem I heard from wives was, "He doesn't love me." Wives are made to love, want to love, and expect love. Many husbands fail to deliver. But as I kept studying Scripture and counseling couples, I finally saw the other half of the equation. Husbands weren't saying it much, but they were thinking, "She doesn't respect me." Husbands are made to be respected, want respect, and expect respect. Many wives fail to deliver. The result is that five out of ten marriages land in divorce court (and that includes evangelical Christians).
As I wrestled with the problem, I finally saw a connection: without love from him, she reacts without respect; without respect from her, he reacts without love. Around and around it goes. I call it the Crazy Cycle - marital craziness that has thousands of couples in its grip."
I am not even half-ways through the book and workbook, and while my husband is not studying the material with me it has already worked miracles in my no-longer-failing marriage.
If you do believe in God I highly recommend this biblically based book. It's not a "religious freak" book or anything but it's nice to know that it is based on things in the bible and not just some theory or pop psychology book, and it's been a #1 seller for over 2 years now... it's working for thousands of couples!
2007-08-26 18:57:46 · answer #1 · answered by THATgirl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While I think that apologizing and making it up to him are nice gestures and are appropriate, I think that the best solution when dealing with past errors is to not repeat the mistake going forward.
I know lots about health issues (my wife died after a three year battle with cancer), kids, and jobs. The most important thing to me is to keep it all separated. My wife was the most important part of my life and I loved her very much. Cancer, kids, and jobs could not change the way that I felt about her and the way that I treated her.
Apologize and go forward. He sounds like the kind of guy that is able to understand the pressure.
2007-08-26 15:47:54 · answer #2 · answered by Randy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First apologize for your behavior. No excuses, just apologize. Let him know that it is not him. Tell him that you appreciate his Patience and strength being there for you. Tell him that you desire being close to him. Smile and flirt with him. Give him compliments. I too have a health condition, 3 kids, and work full time. I have to really pay close attention because I push my man away when it is not even his fault. It takes work, but it is worth it. I hope that you are feeling better soon, or figure out a way to find some happiness while dealing with being miserable.
2007-08-26 14:54:52 · answer #3 · answered by LuvinLos 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very easy, get out of the funk mode and get in
the love mode and everyting will fall in place
after that.
2007-08-26 17:17:33 · answer #4 · answered by RudiA 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think nothing speaks louder then doing a little gesture for him every day. Prepare his favorite meal or desert, welcome him after work with a cold beer, get him that CD he's been talking about but never got time to get it. Talk is cheap....actions speak.
2007-08-26 14:53:23 · answer #5 · answered by Jane Marple 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
each day come from work hug him and tell him how much you missed him
2007-08-26 14:56:05 · answer #6 · answered by sim sim 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋