will a married mans wife accept his child from an affair?

Question

I found later that he was married he moved in with me and then left 4 months later he says his wife will accept this baby but I don't think she will he has no other kids this is his first he says he want to raise him with me but he won't leave cuz of material things and doesn't want to hurt her feelings. I know that it is wrong but it was too late. He says he loves me always keeping tabs on me what do I do any advice. Please help me out!!

the wife does not like kids but just to make him happy she said " I am willing to adopt but don't you dare leave me with the little f***er for any reason. would you want that around your child? I could go on and on but I won't just looking for advice and I appreciate everything everyone is posting it seems to be helping. Thanks.

Answer 1

Personally, me absoutely not. I would not want the husband anymore either. I would cut him loose to go and be with the baby and the baby's momma. No drama! However, I do know of a few women who personally have dealt with this type of situation and have embraced the child. Even taking care of the child, buying gifts, clothing, etc. God bless****

Answer 2

That depends on the situation and the people involved. How did the husband conduct the affair? Is it over, or is this one more thing the wife is now finding out? How is the child's mother behaving?

I personally am not sure. If I loved my husband enough to go to counseling (and I do mean intense counseling) and he was truly sorry, and I felt that he was sincere, and the child's mother was not too intolerable, I would say probably. But that would all depend on where my relationship with my husband was going. If one chooses to stay with a man after all this has happened, then one is choosing to accept the child and the situation.

Regardless of the bad behavior of sleazy husband, and tarty other woman, it is not the child's fault. If one can seperate the child from the parents' bad behavior, then one can accept and even love the child. Just remember that the parents of the child come along with the package.

I know this sounds really negative, but I am married to a man with a daughter (from before he met me, not a product of an affair) whose mother is a nightmare. She makes the relationship with the child much more difficult than it needs to be. I love my stepdaughter like one of my own, and I keep my feelings for her very seperate from how I feel about her mother. But I did know that this might get ugly (which it now has) before we married, and I accepted it. If one is to accept the child of an affair, one must do the same.

Hope this helps in some way.

Answer 3

She should if she love him. I would accept a child no matter what. If they agree to stay together yes she should. The child had no say so about how it got here. Be loving and take into concideration that it's a child and if you forgive you must forget. And if this woman want to be angry take his butt to court and leave him alone. You have open up a can of worns and you child could be without a father. I wonder if you really thought about this before bring a child into this. I have a question for you. Is he staying with his wife or is he leaving her to be with you? Just know that the same way you get a man is the same way you will loose him. You started with a dishonest man cheating on his wife. When he is tried of you what do you think he will do?

Answer 4

Well I have a sister samething happen to her but the one he cheated on her with was a ex wife . The ex wife did get pregnant and yes my sister did accept the child and took care of the child for 2 yrs own her own . I myself bought and help my sister with this child and the child is 7 yrs old today and calls my sister mommy and me her aunt . I kno it hurts but never should u let a child down no matter what the problem is . They are innocent and didnt intend on coming in this world we as parents bring them here . I myself dont know how someone can say I didnt know he or she is married .My god read between the lines . Buy the answer is yes some do and some dont .

Answer 5

What do you want to do? You are important here too. Sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too. You are selfless and thinking of your child, is he? Seems to have a bag of excuses for not doing what he says he would. Are you willing to give up your baby. She may accept the baby on a good day my concern would be that she may resent the baby as a constant reminder of his affair. Accept or not his responsibility is to help care for his child financially and hopefully emotionally. Doesn't seem like he takes responsibility for his actions or consequences. You have these doubts also. She will also have to accept you as you are a part of the baby's life too.
I hope you can work it out, maybe talking to his wife may clear some air for you and will show an acceptance on her behalf or not. I know it 's not a straight forward answer but you know the people involved, we're all different. Good Luck

Answer 6

As for the child, had you guys given forethought to this and used protection, then this would not be a conversation. Forgive me, that was meant to cut, as this situation is intolerable. However, as for the child, you need to give him or her all the love you have to give, especially if that means taking it fromthis no good snauzer in a suit. As for the wife, if she is willing to accept him back and your child, well then, so be it. She does not deserve to be excluded from anything of her husband;s especially if she finds a way to forgive him, so I hope you don't do the baby mama drama thing with her. As far as him saying that he loves you, well, that may be true, but he doesn't love you entirely. He has a wife and trust me, no man worth his salt stays with anyone for material reasons. Men are practical creatures. Trust me, he will give all that up, just to be sane and have a small apartment for him self, if that is truly what he wanted. And then too, he just showed you in what order he loves things; Stuff, sex, wife, and then maybe, you.......

Answer 7

I personally wouldn't and I don't know many women who would.

While it's not the child's fault they were born into a lie, it's not the responsibility of the wife to accept a HUGE mistake her husband made either. If the wife has any self-respect at all, she'll divorce the cheater and get on with her life. The child would be a constant reminder of the infidelity.

Answer 8

I've never been in a situation like that before, so it's tough to say for sure what I would or wouldn't do.

However, I would like to think that I would be able to welcome the child into our lives, with open arms. I mean, the child didn't choose to be born into a situation like that, and there's no reason to leave him/her out or not love them, just because my husband had an affair with their mother. So, I would do my very best to make sure the child felt loved and welcome in our home. As tough as it would be, accepting the child would also mean forgiving the childs mother. That, to me.. would be the toughest of all. But, for the child to be able to grow up in a loving and happy family.. I truly believe that moving past the ordeal would be very important, for everyone involved.

So while I've never been in a situation like that before, I would like to think that if faced with it.. I would handle it with grace and diginity.

Answer 9

If I were the married mans wife you wouldnt be married for long & no they wouldn't accept the child & I would feel really sorry for the poor innocent child that was brought into this mess with no choice in the matter.

Answer 10

I guess it depends on a lot of things!

If she still loves him and is willing to try to make her marriage work- for whatever reasons- then perhaps she could try.
But I think 99% of women would not accept this situation, though.
Although the child is innocent, his /her parents did something wrong and have caused a lot of grief to the wife...Sad.