I am a very healthy person in the intimacy department. I am willing, open, game almost any day, sexy, cute and loving. My husband is handsome, sexy, loving, all that too. He watches xx, searches xx openly. I do not have a problem with that. My complaint is when it is hours (six at a time), and he stays up literally all night doing so. He thinks I am unreasonable. I am repulsed. I shared this with him and he decided to do it more. I am crushed.
Lonely in Seattle (like who can I talk to about this).
Am I being a prude?
A little more info, he was searching craigslist but promised to stop that behavior.
2007-08-26 05:26:56 · 43 answers · asked by Darling 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Um, not to be mean, but WAKE UP TO REALITY. He is obviously looking for something else. If you are doing all that, and he is still spending THAT much time looking at other stuff, then no matter what you do, it won't work for him. It's time to move on, let him go explore these things he wants, and admit to yourself that you just are not the one for him anymore.
Porn and Craigslist are WAY different things. Craigslist means he is looking for ACTION, not just observing porn.
It's not sad, it's human nature. What's sad is that you're not willing to admit this and neither is he.
2007-08-26 05:30:29 · answer #1 · answered by Pat Smear 4 · 8⤊ 0⤋
okay honey, your man has an addiction to porn. No question!
Anyone spending that much time watching it/searching it/ etc. has an addiction. You are not a prude. He has a problem.
If he doesn't realize it and get help you are for sure to divorce him. What he is doing is totally abnormal - if it is affecting your everyday life together then that's how you can tell if it is a problem and sounds to me like he has a BIG problem with it.
I would search the internet for articles on porn addiction and find some help resources. Good luck
2007-08-26 05:32:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
You should have a problem with it. Yes its an addiction, and not only that, your lonely for a reason. He has no sexual feelings for you. How can he? Too much of anything is bad for a person, and when he sees all sorts of nudity and sex acts with others, how can he possibly get turned on by you? I'm afraid he's just using you to get off at this point. I'm sorry, but thats the sad truth. You should consider moving on.
2007-08-26 05:34:41 · answer #3 · answered by cindy h 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are NOT being a prude. In fact, I think you are being more than reasonable. I don't want my husband watching porn all the time. That would really bother me. I think your hubby is addicted to porn. It is normal to watch it on occasion (usually together as a couple), but it is not normal to watch it daily, and for hours at a time, too. When does he spend time with you? I am sure it is also affecting him at work since he obviously doesn't get much sleep. Seek counseling, quickly.
2007-08-26 05:34:21 · answer #4 · answered by nurse ratchet 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
As a 23 year old guy I can tell you its normal to use porn as an ADD-ON to your regular sex life,not a substitute or a compulsive habit on the side. I think 6 hours a night searching for this kind of stuff is sort of deviant, and he may have a problem. Sexual compulsion and porno addiction is classified by many people as behavior that puts you away from your normal every-day obligations to your family or partner, and/or are used in substitute of them.
Don't know what I can recommend to you,but finding a serious, non-fault-finding way of bringing it up to him might light a bulb in his head.,
2007-08-26 05:31:07 · answer #5 · answered by SomeRandomGuy 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
six hours of pornsurfing! we've got an idol here!
seriously... as his wife u have all the right to ask him to cut down on the porn. i do agree with u that six hours is kinda too much. an hour or two may be fine but six? too long.
have a heart-to-heart talk with him. dont confront him, men hate confrontations. maybe u could start by massaging him in the back and telling him: "u know honey, it would be better if we just do what u are watching right now" stuff like that. be creative.
2007-08-26 05:39:53 · answer #6 · answered by 123mantobeat456 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You arnt being unreasonable at all. Your husband is out of line. Porn is fine, but spending HOURS at a time or prefering it over the real thing...theres something wrong. Did you ever see that episode of Sex and the City? Charlottes first husband didnt really see her as a sexual creature and prefered porn. Maybe after watching porn and the unrealistic things that go on, he believes that thats really how it should be. And we all know that porn is no where near real life!
Couples Therapy could also help, if it comes down to it...
2007-08-26 05:32:00 · answer #7 · answered by blackned_wings 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Some XXX watching is normal.. but it sounds to me like your husband is doing this excessively. People can develop addictions to things like this, you know? You aren't being prude. You are just being a caring and concerned wife. And the Craigslist thing is absoultely out of line. I would suggest therapy to him. Maybe he doesn't even see that he has a problem.. Good luck!
2007-08-26 05:33:31 · answer #8 · answered by Raina 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
And... " NO "... You are NOT Being... A Prude!
By.... " xxx " Do you Mean.... PORN?
IF SO... Why did you Not Say.... PORN!
The ... Mental FANTASY..... of Porn... IS DESTROYING YOUR HUSBANDS.... SOUL... and .. Yours!
The Natural Sex and Attractions AND... INTIMACY.... that YOU BOTH.. would Normally ... SHARE.... has been.. and IS BEING... SHORT... CIRCUITED..... by the Porn!
There are Support and Recovery... Groups... THERE IN THE Washington Area. One even in Seattle or Redmond.
NOW... is the Time... TO GET HELP!
Can... a drug addict... STOP.. without... INTERVENTION? " NOT! "
Neither can ... A PORN... ADDICT!
Thanks, Anytime.... RR
2007-08-26 05:39:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is the beginning of seeking alternate, freaky encounters.
Best bet, kill the Internet subscription.
Porn gives people a warped since of intimacy and over time, subconsciously, you tend to only seek out the fantasy of the porn industry with those that can satisfy it.
Normal curiosity is only a few minutes or so here and there over time, dwindling to nothing or no more views.
This is an addiction that needs counseling.
They are all actors in a sense and it is all unreal.
I suggest you talk to Shelly Lubben former porn star now turned anti porn advocate.
http://www.myspace.com/shelleylubben
This advice comes from a man looking at it on your perspective.
2007-08-26 05:32:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋