friend fat wife??

Question

well i asked a question (check my user history) and i think i didn't say everything i needed to,
my friend has a fat wife and he goes to the gym everyday and hes skinny, he told me thats its not fair that he goes to the gym and she just sit around the house, i agree with him, how can he make her relies she is not bein fair,they dont have kids, and she doesn't clean around the house they have a maid hes not a gym rat were both doctors so we just go to the gym cause its there

um no my fiancee is hot

ok yes i am a doctor and im 29, this is only yahoo its not that important im not gonna read over my stuff

Answer 1

First of all, it's none of your business. Secondly, if he really loves her, why would he care if she's fat? If he's just using her for sex [which is the only good reason I can come up with that he would be complaining about her weight, because he obviously doesn't love her enough to try not to change her], why can't he just divorce her and find someone skinny? If he's just worried that she'll get diabetes and whatnot, why can't he find a polite way to talk to her about it? He should just say "Honey, I'm worried that if you don't make healthier life choices, you're going to get diabetes."

Answer 2

This sounds a bit shallow to me. Was his wife fat when they met or did she get fat after they were married. If she was already fat then he shouldn't expect anything different now. If she got fat after they got married I would suggest he sit down and talk to her about it. Find out if anything has changed and if there is anything he can do to help her. Let her know that he is concerned about her health. You did say he was a doctor.
As far as the gym goes that is his choice. He can't force her to go to the gym. It could be that she is self conscious and would feel very uncomfortable going to a gym with a lot of skinny people. Maybe he can suggest she go to Curves or some other gym for women. Some people are just intimidated by gyms. There is a lot of stuff at them and it can be overwhelming knowing where to start. He could also suggest trying something like walking every evening. It is an easy and low impact exercises and if she starts to lose weight it might motivate her to do something else to lose weight. Above all he should talk to her. Complaining to you obviously isn't changing anything.

Answer 3

What kind of doctor are you? If you're a physician you, better than anyone else, should realize you're not going to have much luck coercing a fat woman to lose weight...badgering her (or anyone else, for that matter) about it is only likely to make the situation worsen, and quoting medical statistics to her about the ill-effects that heaviness will have on her health is also likely to go unheeded. The best thing her husband can do is be supportive and maybe take her with him to the gym, or do some other activity with her that she will enjoy and stick with. The best thing you can do is to not let it concern you at all; she's his fat wife, not yours. Energy that he's putting into running his mouth to you would be better spent attending to her needs, then maybe she would have other outlets for gratification than food. (Just a thought...)
I am not a fan of obesity by any means, but I am reasonably familiar with human nature enough to realize people shut down when they're being berated. What I don't get is, why don't you as medical professionals have the same understanding?

Answer 4

well, if she has never been a gym person then it is unfair of him to expect her to be different. he knew when he married her that she wasn't a gym goer. there is nothing unfair about people having different interests and hobbies than their spouse...they are two DIFFERENT people after all. maybe she thinks it's "unfair" that he goes to the gym. this is an immature question, i highly doubt you are a doctor because a doctor would have to be at least 28 and you sound much younger pouting about "fair" and "unfair". if your friend actually wants his wife to work out, he should find some activities they can do together rather than hanging out with you all the time. plus, you admit they he only goes to the gym because it's convenient for him.

i'm a sociology student conducting an anonymous study on sex and relationships at http://geocities.com/sbiv37

Answer 5

Where is it not fair that she is fat, and he is skinny? If they have a maid then why does she have to clean around the house? Why doesn't he just be honest with himself, and his wife by telling her he doesn't want to be with her anymore, and he wants to be with someone skinny. That's basically all he's trying to say. He is tired of being embarrassed by her because all of his doctor friends make fun of him, or there is a female doctor or nurse that he would rather be with. Tell him to stop beating around the bush. Why did he marry her?

Answer 6

It's non of your business. You sound as if you want him. If yahoo wasn't important, why are you asking questions? I highly doubt that you are even a doctor. Since you are so concern with what his wife does and he is so punkish to tell you their business, why don't you two stay together. That way you won't have to worry about who's fat, who's going to the gym and so on. GET A LIFE OF YOUR OWN!!!!

Answer 7

If one out of a couple wants time and attention together, and the other wants exercise, just mix the two wants! What female would resist her man saying with his hand stretched out for her, can we go take a nice walk together this evening. At first agree to make it a silent and lengthy walk, then next time challenge each other to committ to the next time to walk together, and take turns calling the emotional connection . Go around your neighborhood, a school track, ballfield, anywhere. Have fun together! Usually the cycle of NEEDS will began getting met.

Answer 8

The best thing he can do is to spend time with her, talk to her, do things together. She likely has stopped caring about herself because she feels neglected, unloved, and unappreciated. That is very likely the root of the problem. I think they could benefit from some marriage counseling.

The more he makes her feel bad about her weight the more depressed she is likely to get and the more she'll do depression eating. If he loves his wife he needs to find things to compliment her on and make her feel better about herself. Then try to her involved in some hobby that includes physical activity. Make it something they can do together. And don't make it about the weight, but that he wants to spend more time with her. If she starts feeling like he wants to be with her and spend time with her she might start caring more about herself, and that can lead to weight loss.

But bottom line, the more he makes her feel bad about herself the worse it is going to get. He needs to take a different approach.

Answer 9

it sounds to me that she needs some kind of hobby. she may not know what to do. it sounds as if she could be bored, because she has nothing to turn too. try to get her to join some sort of woman's club or even go jogging with her. but she needs to get out and start to do something.

I know that this must be depressing for her. a depressed person tend to, just lay around and eat, this is to give them something to do. she needs your help, ask her to take up tennis, or anything you think she may like to do. tell her to call one of her old girl friends and start some kind of hobby together.

but the thing is she, needs to have something to do. as it is just sitting around the house is not healthy for her at all. you may find if she does start some thing such as this, she will seem to be happy. also lose weight. and become more active.

every one has some kind of something they like, to do. but feel they do not have any reason to do so. that is why she needs an old girl friend, to liven her up to want to do something.

Good Luck,

Answer 10

I think your friend is interested in another woman. That is why he is finding fault with his "fat" wife. I always like when people use "it's not fair." Maybe she thinks that "it's not fair" that he spends so much time at work and spends time at the gym that could be spent with her. Let me see.....does he expect her to puke up 2 of the 3 meals a day to get really anorexic? I go back to my original statment......this isn't about her weight, it's about him looking for a lame excuse to divorce her and date some nurse at work.