Good wife does this ?

Question

My husband told me that a good wife should obey him... Do you think so ? He says I should give it up whenever he wants it and clean and cook.

Answer 1

A good wife is a lady who loves her husband, does for him as he does for her. I do for my wife and she does for me. My wife works a fulltime job, she cooks, she cleans and she has an endless amount of energy, wow. But anyway, one shouldn't have to ask the other in my opinion they should want to help out the other. I really don't help with the food a whole lot, I make the sweet tea sometimes, I season the meat sometimes, I take out the garbage when I can remember, I try to make sure my clothes make it to the laundry basket, I help with our son, make him do as he is told when his mother tells him to do something, I never make the bed, which we came to an understanding years ago when I had made the bed and she came home one afternoon and remade it and I caught her and said thats the last time I will ever do it, just because the animals was not in the right position, anyway it is a give and take. I would expect more from her if she did not have a fulltime job, just like she would of me. It is not so much as obey him as it is to me to be asked before she done something that we both should be deciding about. You also have to take in account what he was around growing up, his dad might have ruled the house and he is being how he was raised. So there is compromise that will be needed from you. I do believe women make more compromises in a marriage than men do, it really all depends on the nature of a person. I hope I was some help, Good luck.

Answer 2

That may have been the norm 50 years ago, but in this day and age people in a relationship should be equals. He should help with the cooking cleaning and child rearing if there are any. You should only have sex when you feel like it. Even if you are married if he forces you to have sex and you don't want to it is still rape. It is a lot harder to prove, but it is still forced upon you. Sex should be fully enjoyable for both partners and that can only happen if you both want it. I know that the traditional notion of marriage is to honor and obey, but that idea has been seriously attacked in more recent years. I don't know if this is coming from a religious back ground or not. If not I would try getting him to go to counseling. If he won't go you might want to consider leaving him. You will never be happy if you don't believe you should obey him and it doesn't sound like you believe that. He will all ways be oppressive and treat you like something other than his wife and partner.

Answer 3

When one "obeys" another it normally goes along with being the child and obeying your parents/elders. This, though sounds like a power trip! Granted when you are in a relationship you should do your best to satisfy your partner but not by obeying orders, it should be something you want to do to make the other happy. I think you should tell him this:
" I am your partner, and not your sex/cleaning slave, i enjoy pleasing you sexually and have no problem doing so, you just need to understand that it is my preference when and where i want to have sex, and i will do it i want to, not when you tell me that i have to..and as for cooking and cleaning, this is not the 20's anymore i understand it is normally done by the wife but that is because the wife likes to provide a homely experience for the family, not because she is ordered around by her husband to do so. So i will cook and clean but that doesnt mean you cant help cook or pitch in cleaning any time!" If you are just a house wife and he works to support you , normally the house chores are done by the spouse who doesnt work,,,but if you both work tell him to get off of his high horse and stop acting like he is king of the jungle! GOOD LUCK!!! Stand up for yourself, you deserve his respect!

Answer 4

Ok so I wasn't going to answer this but I had too. You need to get out now! This is control. A good wife does clean and cook and take care of the children but a good husband will help. Never NEVER obey him for the love of God. That is stupid. You need to stand up and be a woman. Don't let him start now b/c he will never ever stop.

Answer 5

To love honor and obey is in the marriage vows, however he stated those same words to you. Food for thought. I think the obey doesnt mean give it up whenever he wants. Sounds like he wants a slave, not a wife!

Answer 6

I would expect my wife to slap the fool out of me if I acted like that and I think you should do the same. My wife does do the cooking and cleaning but that is because she chooses to do so. I cook when she doesn't feel well and clean to help her out. as far as the sex goes, when ever the other wants. hell no. if you are a guy and the girl doesn't want it. She's not going to be wet and its going to suck. If you are a girl and the guy doesn't want it, it wont get up.

Answer 7

If he is serious when he says that I would worry. It sounds like he can become obsessive and controlling.

wifes should not have to obey their husbands... they are not the mans property. but simply respect their wishes and feelings because they love him...

nor should men have to obey women for the same reason.

men and women should share equally in all housework since both are living there.

keep aware to make sure he doesn't become abusive and controlling.. it can often start from DEMANDING to be obeyed

Answer 8

Tell your husband that your wedding vows did NOT include the word "obey" and that he's not your father but your husband. And no, you do not have to "give it up" whenever he wants, you have the right to say no.

Answer 9

Nowadays both man and woman is equal. If the wife have the ability to do well in her career, why should she stay at home and become a full-time housewife?

Your husband should update his thinking, we are now in 2007 not in 1930's!

Answer 10

Back in the day, OOH YEAH, that is the way it was. Not as much today. There are still a very few women that are that way. But, your hub is not being practical about this. He needs to understand that there are times in any ones life that they DO NOT FEEL LIKE "GIVING IT UP" as you put it. If you are tired, do not feel good / "have a headache", or just not in the mood, he should really understand that.