fight between a newly wed couple pls help?

Question

v got married this march n started fighting after 15 days 4 no reasons n every time my husband says go n stay at ur parents hse n now i m at parents hse after he said that i don't love u n don't respect you what shd i do n i m pregnant also pls help me

Answer 1

I THINK THERE WILL BE ONLY MISUNDERSTANDING.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND THE PROBLEM AND TRY TO SOLVE IT. TAKE THE HELP OF YOUR ELDERS TO TRY TO KNOW WHAT IS PROBLEM THERE.

Answer 2

If that's the way you are being treated from you're so-called husband after you were just married, then you married the wrong person. He can't possibly love you if he could treat you that way. That is not love and that is not marriage!

How could you let him tell you to leave. That's what you have to tell him. I hate to say it, but if that's the way things are already, you will eventually wind up in divorce.

I would threaten him right now that this will stop today. You are not going to let him treat you with such disrespect. He is acting like an idiot and you will not stay married to an idiot. You thought you were marrying a man that knows how to treat a woman. Well, he failed and I guess you will have to file.

Just stay strong with self respect, pride and dignity. Don't put up with his nonsense. He sounds like a complete failure. Save your baby. Good Luck

Answer 3

Let me get this straight. You are newly married, fight all the time, and are pregnant. Right?

Judging from the way you write, and the situation you are in, I think that you are too immature to be married. Consider a divorce. Since you need to return to your parents on a regular basis, maybe you should stay there. Also consider finding adoptive parents for the baby. You are obviously to immature to be handling the responsibility of a child.

I can't imagine why you would allow yourself to get pregnant at a time when you haven't got your own life together. Get counseling. Get help.

Answer 4

Adjustment difficulties are common among newlyweds. Started fighting after 15 days of marriage??? Looks like you both want to dominate each other instead of being compassionate.

Study the art of Conflict management first and then proceed.

You say number of reasons to fight....have you analyzed why it happens? Is it because you are trying to assert your importance in his life and he has to suddenly handle a women's libber? Men have difficulties in the early
stages of marriage as they don't want to be labelled as "Hen pecked". Women have difficulties because they dont want to be labelled as "Door mats". Are you fighting to avoid those labels?
How many days does it take to understand a person? Any idea? Mature adults don't behave emotionally but rationally but marriage is such an emotional issue, Isn't it?

Suggest the following:

1) Talk to your husband and ask him to talk to you personally and tell him that you want to return. Please swallow your hurt feelings. It is important to make your marriage work.
2) your parents should speak to his parents and try to sort out the problems.
3) Take help from a common friend.

Marriage is a long way of blissfulness and uncertainty. It takes two to go through together and to survive till the end of times.
Leaving one along the way is a definite no-no. It is no doubt an act of irresponsiblity and failure to perform the spousal role.

1) Respect both as unqiue individuals with different values, beliefs and expectations
2. Verbally express you need support. Not many humans are psychic and neither is your spouse
3. When quarrel arises, one must learn to give way. Giving way is not admitting you are wrong. You are doing it because the relationship matters to you.
4. Learn to use humor to push away conflict. Pull a funny face or say “sorry” in a humorous way.
5. Forget and forgive just because you love each other so much.


Best of luck and wishing Godspeed in mending your relationship.

Answer 5

In arrange marriage, newly couple mostly fight. Because everything is new to both of you. So understanding takes time. what is the use of going to your parents house? Be with him and slove it. slience is the best medicine to control anyone. It will make them think . Orelse talk to him slowly when he is in good mood. It is your life, don't run away from it. And you are going to have a baby soon. The child needs dad. Orelse child may suffer in depressiong later. People may say being slience is that you are weak. But they only know when their friends or there parents or patner is being quite. Tell him if we talk, we fight. So you are keeping quite and you don't want to talk. slowly you can see the changes in him.

Answer 6

Fight are a part of love ........ you ae lucky enough to get into this so early .... actully after marriage this things are normal but in your case it has happen only after 15 days so thats why you both are very lucky and I know that you loves each other a lot and as far as pregnancy is concern then simply go to him and tell him that you are going to deleiver a most precious gift to him and you want him at this time............. and please please please......... dont go to your parents as your parents are now a stranger for you and you have to live your life with your habby and if at all your habby is not intrested then then simply live alone and prove that you are a independent girl and you can live all alone and you dont require any one esle to support for any thing in your life and mind you that if this is the case then your husband is really invloved in some other girl and if this is real then ignore him and dont give him divorce as he must wants this only and be care full in your life and thinks that whethet you wants to delever that baby or not................... its all in your hands no one can advice you in this

Answer 7

ask him why he dosent love u and that as u have his baby, u have the right to know the reason y he is behaving like this. if he tell u the reason, then u know what to do to solve the problem and if he dosent, there is something that he is hiding from u and please do talk to him in a kind of upest, sad, loving way rather than angry and agressive to know the problem.i this is not solved then i advice u to go to a councellor. ask him y he dosent love u or respect u . i feel really sorry for u. i wish i could be more of a help. i will pray for u. dont loose courage. stay bold. please dont get depressed as u r pregnant, it will effect ur baby. try to be happy. god bless u. good luck.

Answer 8

Take a 3rd party help - go for a post marital counselling!! When choosing the counsellors be carefull that they are not biased and you too need to keep an open mind - I mean if they point out your mistakes you too shoudl accept and be ready to change/rectify!!

Answer 9

ok...
you need to talk

you need to know whats the problem between you two. and you need to sort things out.and now even more coz ure pregnant.

do you want to save ur marriage?? if yes stop going to ur parents house. you are supposed to be grown up enough and mature enough to sort things out with ur husband.

if you need external help. you both need to go to a counciler and fortunately you will be 2 love birds again.

good luck love
xxx

Answer 10

Quit going to your parents. Work out your problems. Talk and find how to see each others side. If you cannot do this then will be a long road together.

Answer 11

I usually don't recommend books because I hate it when people recommend them to me, but I honestly wish I could buy "Love & Respect" for every married (and engaged) person I know. So try and hear me out...

It states that a woman's driving need is to feel loved and when she feels loved she feels happy. A man's driving need is to feel respect and when he feels respected he is happy. When a woman feels unloved she acts out disrespectfully to her husband, and when a man feels disrespected he acts out unloving towards his wife and the crazy cycle begins.

If this is setting off any light bulbs for you read on...

"I wrote this book out of desperation that was turned into inspiration. As a pastor, I counseled married couples and could not solve their problems. The major problem I heard from wives was, "He doesn't love me." Wives are made to love, want to love, and expect love. Many husbands fail to deliver. But as I kept studying Scripture and counseling couples, I finally saw the other half of the equation. Husbands weren't saying it much, but they were thinking, "She doesn't respect me." Husbands are made to be respected, want respect, and expect respect. Many wives fail to deliver. The result is that five out of ten marriages land in divorce court (and that includes evangelical Christians).

As I wrestled with the problem, I finally saw a connection: without love from him, she reacts without respect; without respect from her, he reacts without love. Around and around it goes. I call it the Crazy Cycle - marital craziness that has thousands of couples in its grip."

I am not even half-ways through the book and workbook, and while my husband is not studying the material with me it has already worked miracles in my no-longer-failing marriage.

If you do believe in God I highly recommend this biblically based book. It's not a "religious freak" book or anything but it's nice to know that it is based on things in the bible and not just some theory or pop psychology book, and it's been a #1 seller for over 2 years now... it's working for thousands of couples!