I've only been married 4 years. I am no longer in love with my husband and have absolutely NO sexual desire for him. I think most of this is because I have caught him messing with other women twice, and he lied so blatantly about these situations, that I don't trust him At ALL. I no longer find him physically appealing, and can't say that I ever did--I fell in love with his spirit, and his mind, and at the time of our marriage I felt that was all I needed. But now there is just nothing there for me. My heart has been hardened by his cheating and lying. He wants to work things out, and doesn't want me to leave. But I don't feel anything for him. When he gets near me or tries to kiss me, I feel disgust, and his kiss feels wrong, and annoying. It's hard for me to watch him in his sadness, but he did this to himself. Somedays I feel pity for him, and somedays I wish he would just go the away. But I don't work and we have 2 kids, so I need his support for now.
2007-08-26 03:08:39 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you don't love your husband and there is no hope that you ever will....I think you should leave your marriage. Why waste your time in a loveless marriage with a man that has cheated on you? Get out now and make a life for yourself and your two children. It may be tough being that you currently don't work outside the home, but you can do it!
2007-08-26 03:16:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I am going through almost the same thing. My husband has cheated on me many times. He also left 6 days after we were married. He does not want me to file for divorce yet I still feel nothing for him anymore. The lies are very hard to get over. The cheating is even worse. At this point even though I am not working at this time I have to get a job. I have 2 children also. They don't need to see that I am unhappy in a relationship. No matter the reasons if you are unhappy you need to leave. The kids will act out and things of that nature if the home life is not happy. This is my main reason for getting a divorce. I can't put my children through a life with someone who does these things. I don't want them to grow up thinking it is okay for that to happen. You should really think hard about leaving. Cheaters and liers never change that is the cold hard truth. I hate the fact of divorce yet sometimes it can't be helped and is better for everyone involved.
2007-08-26 03:41:58 · answer #2 · answered by Suzanne S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's difficult but the best thing to do is leave. It wont be easy, but at least you'll be happy. And that's what matters most. Also, once a cheat, always a cheat. As for the kids, if you can work things out where they can see you both evenly, that's best. So many women take advantage of the family justice system, to get back at their spouses. Don't keep his kids from him because of mistakes with other women. One has nothing to do with the other.
2007-08-26 03:20:57 · answer #3 · answered by Steelers 6 Penguins 3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you threw lots of things into this question. First off, if he cheated then he does not love you and you should not be in a marriage that there is no love in. Your children will see that and grow up to feel the same way about marriage. Second of all, you should not stay in the marriage for the support either. I understand he cheated on you but you should not use him either. You should be a better person than that.
My wife cheated on me numerous times, and I still loved her and didn't want her to leave. When she finally left, she gave me custody of my son. I can see now, how it affected him while we were together. He is much happier now, even though we divorced. I am happier too, although I still love her, I know I am better off. You need to look closely for your children and your self. Mentally and physically it may be hard to do, but it would be better off for all of you in the end.
2007-08-26 04:13:39 · answer #4 · answered by scheib65 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are ready to leave, in your head and in your heart you are ready. Now you just need to come up with a plan. There is no need for you to rush a separation and put yourself and your children in difficult financial situation. Start looking for a job, make a list of what you will need: a car, furniture, appliances etc. Make a budget and get information on how much he will be giving you for child support. When this is all done then leave, make take you 3 months or 6 months but you will know exactly where you're heading.
2007-08-26 03:26:43 · answer #5 · answered by Jane Marple 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW! I am going thru the same thing! Married for 4 years I am discusted when he wants a hug, kiss, or sex. And he has also been caught with other women 3 different times! We have a small child and I also dont work! You feel confused and alone! Are you also fighting the battle of I know I need to be alone vs what will i do without him and am i making the right decision to leave him! And dont try a threesome like some dork suggessted below! That will just make it worse! It will not make you feel more envolved it will make you think about how your husband could do that especially in front of you! I dont know what to tell you because I too am searching for the same answer! I will pray for you and hope you find strength!
2007-08-29 16:42:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same boat. I love my husband but I can't trust him we have been married for 2 years and have 2 kids, but he has treated me like dirt and I am beginning to hate him. I dunno how to over this after time I trust him he lets me down again. If you have the strength to leave I would but at the moment I don't I feel dead inside. I realise it is better in the long run not to be together if you are not happy. I am off sick with stress so am getting sick pay. You can see about claiming income and tax credits for you and your children. Good luck. Deep down you know what you need to do.
2007-08-26 03:21:28 · answer #7 · answered by louvarg 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let me point out, if you want to leave, leave. Dont make any excuses not to go. If oyu dont love him and are unhappy, then you are only adding to your own miseray. There is plenty of help out there for single moms, trust me I know. Best thing you can do for you and your kids is leave. Look into help for single moms, the internet is loading with it, talk to your local social services, they can play a major role with helping you and if your husband owns the house you live in and has cheated, thats adultery, when you get divorced everything gets split up, so since oyu dont work and he does plus you have kids, you might get the house cause of this, just look into it
2007-08-26 03:18:14 · answer #8 · answered by Jersey Sweetheart 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can get child support. He DID do this to himself....but don't you think you played a part in his cheating if he internally realized you were never attracted to him to begin with? Seems you both have been having some level of dishonesty. Time to split.
2007-08-26 03:16:38 · answer #9 · answered by theartisttwin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question and your details are opposites. Sounds like you don't want him to me!
No trust, no feelings, no attraction? Why are you still married then? Money?
Get a job, get a divorce, share custody of the children. Take responsibility for your life.
2007-08-26 03:23:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋