If this was published would you buy it?

Question

They say people read the first few pages (five at most) to get a sense of the story. Do you like the beginning to my story? I think it's catchy. And it's short. And if you like it, go on to Chapter 2 which is quite paced too.

Link: http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-zeess2sydLSfKoOI4jnqHg13

Please comment on here and there (if you can) I'd like to know your opinion. Some of you may know me as Marc Hector.

The picture on the left is the Hero of the story.

Answer 1

In the opening sentences and dialogue it's almost a direct rip-off of HP. I hope you're up for lawsuits on plaigarism if you were dumb enough to publish this.

It's not catchy -- it's another writer's material and for myself, as a writer, I consider that an insult. It's one thing to derive inspiration from an author but to blatantly steal their idea and just change names and/or places is crap. Find your own voice and idea and then write. At this point in time you're simply mirroring someone far more talented.

Answer 2

No. When I read that, all I can say to myself is Harry Potter over and over and over again, and let me tell you why.

The Evremonde stole this map, good enough, right? But then the speculations are like when Voldemort was on the loose, and the same thing is happening here. No one knows if he's dead or on the loose, but it's obvious he's alive. The Death Brand equals the same as the Dark Mark. The character George was young and stupid when he got it, much like a young Severus Snape.

Also, I just wouldn't real a story about a stolen map, no matter how important or priceless this map was, that's not enough to write a solid story about. Obviously someone is going to try to catch the Evremond or something, and they're going to get caught up a lot, and eventually, whether it be in this book, or a later book, the person will be caught, or dead.

EDIT!

Funny how I got an agreement though you say it's nothing like Harry Potter.

Funny how you got three bad reviews.

The irony of life, huh?

Answer 3

It takes years to develop a writer's voice. If you read Norman Mailer, Philip Roth, Kurt Vonnegut, you could hear their voice in the page. They have developed a unique style of writing. That said it seems today with the PC in most household everyone wants to become a writer. Let alone the competition to get published is fierce. One in 500 written books are professionally published by houses. That said to sell a published book is equally as tough given all of the books in a book store. Unless a bookstore chain is promoting your book by placing it on a table in front of the bookstore with a big ad poster, most new books don't sell. How to get that center table in the bookstore, it's up to the publisher to persuade the bookstore chain to promote it.

Answer 4

i agree with the abv ans , it reminds me of Harry Potter but doesnt have the brilliance / clarity / wit of JK Rowling . Sorry to be discouraging but perhaps u could try your hand at something else , or if u believe that the story may grip the reader later on , perhaps change the beginning . Keep trying and all the best.

Answer 5

You are going to have to find you own voice. This, clearly, is someone Else's. The reason the HP books have become the phenomena that they are is that they were original thought. No one had ever done something like this before and she created a new and interesting universe. That is what interests people. New ideas and situations. Unless you are into romance novels that is~!!!!

Answer 6

no. but i'd gladly read it for free