......Me like Mosquitos, eh?.......
2007-08-25 23:41:12 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Mosquitos bite you in the aśś, lawyers either try to give it to you in the aśś or take it up the aśś,
2007-08-27 10:35:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
OR
A mosquito drops off you when you die!
Some good lawyer jokes
Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!
Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.
Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.
Q: Do you know how to save a drowning laywer?
A1: Take your foot off his head.
A2: No? Good!
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of $%!*?
A: The bucket.
Q: What is the definition of a shame as in "that's a shame"?
A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
Q: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
A: Stick his bill up his @$%.
Q. Where can you find a good lawyer?
A. In the cemetary
Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A. A vampire only sucks blood at night.
Q. How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Heck, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
A: After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and God?
A: God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
Q: How are an apple and a lawyer alike?
A: They both look good hanging from a tree.
Q: How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?
A: She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
Q: How does an attorney sleep?
A: First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?
A: Only three. The rest are true stories.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
Q: What are lawyers good for?
A: They make used car salesmen look good.
Q: What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?
A: They're both extinct.
Q: What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?
A: Not enough cement.
Q: What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
A: Skeet.
Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad.
A: Senator.
Q: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
A: His partners.
Q: What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?
A: A Doberman.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?
A: The pronunciation.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?
A: A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A: The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
Q: What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?
A: One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
A: To practice.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A: The lawyer charges more.
Q: What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A: The tick falls off when you are dead.
Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?
A: I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
Q: Know how copper wire was invented?
A: Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
Q: Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?
A: To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
Q: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
A: Stick his bill up his ***.
Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: Their lips are moving.
Q: Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?
A: New Jersey got to pick first.
Q: Why don't lawyers go to the beach?
A: Cats keep trying to bury them.
Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.
Q: What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.
Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
A: Take your foot off his head.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?
A: The bucket.
Q: What is the definition of a shame as in "that's a shame"?
A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
Q: What is the definition of a "crying shame"?
A: There was an empty seat.
Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you can't understand
Q: Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?
A: From chasing parked ambulances.
Q: Where can you find a good lawyer?
A: In the cemetery
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?
A: A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A: A vampire only ***** blood at night.
Q: Why to lawyers wear neckties?
A: To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A: When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
Q: How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: ****, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?
A: It might be your bicycle.
Q: What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?
A: The caterer.
Q: Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?
A: Because deep down, they're really good people.
Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
Q: What do lawyers and sperm have in common?
A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
2007-08-25 23:48:04 · answer #2 · answered by Lumberjack 3 · 1⤊ 4⤋
A mosquito drops off you when you die!
One is a blood-sucking parasite. The other is an insect.
Q: How can you tell the difference between a lawyer and a skunk lying in the middle of the road?
A: The skunk is the one with the skid marks in front of it.
2007-08-26 05:50:23 · answer #3 · answered by Bore sum 1 else w/ ur question! 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A Mosquito Bites Your Arm. A Lawyer bites Your A**!
2007-08-25 23:49:15 · answer #4 · answered by Sky Guy 5 · 3⤊ 3⤋
I know how they are alike...They're both blood suckers!
Different, hmmmm, When you swat a lawyer it doesn't hurt? Is that the correct answer? Did I win Beani? Does that mean you have to buy me a beer?
Looks like somebody had fun playing the thumbs down game here...I gave you all a thumbs up to try to help. Must be the ugly troll patrol!
2007-08-26 00:54:29 · answer #5 · answered by Leepal 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
A mosquito does not bother if you offend it. But the opposite is the case with a lawyer.
2007-08-25 23:47:40 · answer #6 · answered by Devarat 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋
They are both blood suckers. But there is a repellent for mosquitoes.
2007-08-26 09:13:01 · answer #7 · answered by Starr 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
a mosquito drain your blood and a lawyer drain your pocket. either way it goes u get eaten alive.
2016-04-02 00:02:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One is a blood sucking parasite and the other is a small flying insect
2007-08-26 08:35:17 · answer #9 · answered by Magic Mouse 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you can swat a mosquito...do that to a lawyer and you'll get sued..
2007-08-26 04:11:46 · answer #10 · answered by Chicken Dude..Vinster 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋