My husband is deployed....we have had trust issues and relationship issues in the past, but things have been going really good. He mentioned in passing today that he went to the gym with a girl. I wasn't mad, just curious to know more info about the girl, which I think is justified in any situation. Anyhow, my husband got all angry and said that if I don't trust him I should get out...etc. He says things are never going to change and I am keeping us the way we were and not letting him become a better person?? What's the deal?
2007-08-25 22:05:13 · 15 answers · asked by AHS429 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He has had issues with other girls in the past as far as inappropriate relations with them....and I have to admit that I do nag about it and used to be that girl that would insist on him ignoring the entire female race....so I mean I'm sure it sucks for him to be questioned, but I didn't approach him in an angry way...just was looking for more info, this was the first I heard about this girl at all...
2007-08-25 22:20:28 · update #1
He is cheating on you,the guilty always gets very defensive over anything to do with the other woman.I think that was his way of starting a fight with you so he can continue to see her without feeling like he 's doing something wrong. That's how it starts sorry to say,picking a fight with the wife then turning it around to make you feel guilty when in fact you did nothing wrong but called him out. I know you don't want to believe that he is cheating on you. Did you know that in the golf war there were more divorces because the men and women fighting together fell in love with each other. Just be careful with your words don't give him any reason to start a augment with you,be as nice as you can to him so he will feel guilty if he is doing anything. Good Luck!
2007-08-26 04:52:45 · answer #1 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh boy - you do not know?
What ever did your husband do to deserve you? If you cannot see what damage you are doing then sadly your relationship is going to get worse and likely end up in divorce!
He TOLD YOU he went to the gym with the girl. Get real - if he was up to something then he could just not even mention it couldn't he?
It is not him who has the problem but you. Seek some help and advice NOW - before it starts eating away at your marriage!
Amazing the number of answers that condemn him and say he must be cheating - no wonder there are so many divorces and just what does that say about these people and their relationships?!!!!!
2007-08-25 22:12:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I find it funny that all the females instantly say he's cheating and the 2 guys respond right away with it's all your fault...Hmmm. Well I'm going against the grain, sorry guys! Usually when a guy gets that defensive that quick he's got a guilty conscious, even if he has not done anything wrong. He knows that going to the gym with another woman is not something you would approve of and most likely knows from previous experience with you that you would find out, thought better to find out from him. It's normal, once you break someones trust it's hard to rebuild it...he needs to earn your trust could also be the reason he told you about going to the gym with the other woman. During deployment is the worse time to try and work this out, when he returns home you both should consider counseling, it's not easy but not hopeless either. Good luck
2007-08-25 22:45:53 · answer #3 · answered by John H 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Honey... do you respect yourself? Love yourself? Take a step back and read what you just wrote. Looks like he's looking for an out. Learn from my experience. My husband wanted out, until a little while after I left. Thats when they start to realize what they have lost. And when he does, don't run right back. Show him that his behavior was not acceptable, and nor will it ever be. With you not there when he drinks his coffee every morning, the wheels in his brain will turn, and regrets he will soon start feeling. Absence makes the heart grow stronger, and silly men start to think clearer. If he don't want you back, his loss your dignity! At least you left, and you didn't get pushed out by another woman! Think about it girly. Good luck
2007-08-25 23:24:04 · answer #4 · answered by big_gurlz_dont_cry27 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is an extremely stable question! definite, my husband does have it incredibly properly. I do each and all of the cooking, and the cleansing for the main area. i'm the main effective decision maker while it contains the youngsters, no longer via fact he cant, he only trusts my judgment extra. yet, truthfully, i assume i might say I even have it extra suited. I advise, he is going to artwork well-known, I stay homestead (and stay incredibly busy as properly) If for some reason I couldnt prepare dinner that day, my husband thinks its no biggie, if he comes homestead and sees the youngsters are being complicated that day, he does the only situation he understand i might savor! He is going directly to the dishwasher to emtpy or load it. He under no circumstances tells me no. He under no circumstances raised his voice, I do although, im very stable at it! His endurance is one in each of an angel! the shown fact that he places up with me is a miracle! i'm incredibly obnoxious and that i've got the common loud and opinionated coonass mouth! And while that "time of the month" comes around, OMG!!!! He under no circumstances blames my erratic habit on it, and is presented in armed with a great mac and snickers!! AND, no women people, this is extremely unusual and that i nonetheless dont understand this, yet while he's ill, like working fever ill, he does not tell me! He is going to artwork by using it, helps with the youngsters by using it, each little thing. He says if he tells me then unwell make him stay homestead and he doesnt want me to ought to circulate out of my thank you to guard him! communicate approximately make me sense like **** while i discover out he replaced into ill all that element and that i under no circumstances knew! i assume with the two have it notably stable. He has me to do each little thing for him and the youngsters, yet he's there to help if i want him too. he's very quiet so the shown fact that he loves my loud mouth his hilarious!!!
2016-10-17 00:40:46 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweety, if he is getting angry and offended, then thats a little fishy dont u think? u r his wife. u have the rights to ask who the other women is. if theres nothing between them and that they are just "friends". he wouldnt hesitate if you wanted to meet her, just once, thats all. he should respect you and be perfectly fine with that. and wat does he mean that if u dont trust him, u shud leave? is that suppose 2 b a threat? like he doesnt care if u did leave? u didnt mention anything about trust then y does he mention it????? look deep into it. im a beauty therapist & i had 1 client came in & told me he had a 2 yr affair with a girl he went to the gym with. his wife at home just had a little baby and she found out through msgs on his mobile phone. hope things work well. take care
2007-08-25 23:19:07 · answer #6 · answered by watevergal20s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may of came on the offensive a bit too harsh there, but being in the army myself, the fears of being in a relationship when getting deployed are getting killed or injured, or coming home to your girl, and her guy. It happens alot to military men so maybe his mind is just getting fed with these thoughts.
And maybe he feeds deep into these other girls so he has something to hold on to if sh*t hits the fan with you.
2007-08-29 21:39:29 · answer #7 · answered by Nano 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband has no concept of how to honor his marriage vows. Tell him he can have that girl and when the time is right, you will find a man that knows how to treat a woman.
2007-08-26 00:21:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
anyone who gets too defensive that they become offensive has something to hide. why would he get angry if you asked a simple question or two about his friend? would he react the same way if you asked the same questions about his guy friends? think about that for a while.
2007-08-25 23:15:16 · answer #9 · answered by Princess Picalilly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is either defending himself because he is feeling guilty or you have been questioning him like this in the past and got on his nerves. You are the only one who knows your husband, so you should know why he says things like that.
2007-08-25 22:10:53 · answer #10 · answered by terliuke 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋