How do you draw the line between being a pushover and just being nice?

Question

I believe people push me around. Yet i only notice afterwards. My first instinct is to help (do onto others as u would like that they do onto u). how do i realize when people are just taking advantage of me/ or, if they really sincerely need my help?

Answer 1

trust your gut feeling !! some people mistake niceness for weakness, and then try to use you....learning this word will help you sooooooo much in life !!!! it's "NO"............best wishes !

Answer 2

YOU BELONG …
…To the KIND hearted, accommodating and patient ones.
A trait or character that is no longer common with our times.

People will always take advantage of those soft hearted ones.
Your intension of helping others is noble and on that sense…
YOU should be praised!!

Helping others is a good thing.
When others take advantage of your goodness
It will be their sin of guilt not yours.
They will be burden by it in the end.

To be taken advantage is truly a bad thing
But your sincerity over things will give you Good Karma.
It’s admirable to be helpful…. and those foolish friends of yours
will not be remembered but labeled only as parasites…
While you someday will be remembered, not as a push over but as a fine person.

You will have a tale to tell and lessons to impart
Because you learned to be righteous coming from your heart.

Playing smart could also come in handy.
Helping must only be within your means.
Your Family comes first
You should know your priorities.
Helping is not helping at all if in the process you destroy your own self advantage.
It is also important to Love yourself a little more before others.
Being selfless is saintly but please be fair to yourself.

Your goodness will never go unrewarded dear…
It is better to be needed than be a user.

Smile and stay good!!

Paris716

Answer 3

Well for me, I will help people who help me so long as it does not irritate them.
Next It's nice to help others but when the person starts to think that it natural for you to help them.
Stop, reconsider, are you doing their jobs for them?
If they do not really need help ,let them handle their own problems and smooth thing over for them if they couldn't cope.
But basically the person you help need to experience some of the thing that goes with getting the rewards(pay) for the job.
And I'm assuming that you are not their boss.
look out for signs that they are avoiding responsibilities,
frequent urgent leaves, frequent sick leave and non work related course on work critical days. Or two or more personnel taking same day leaves are example of them treating you as a pushover.
They will also try to hide the fact that they are goofing off so look out for these sign too. Examples :erasing notice board.
These are signs not to help them at all.
If they have a sincere need for help, they will inform you in advance 1 or 2 day.Instead of dropping the load on you unannounced.
Draw the line by getting your own things done first and take care of their responsibility last.So at least your responsibility is taken care of first. If you do not have time when you are done, then too bad for them. :)
remember beggars can't be choosers.

Answer 4

That's up to your personal judgment, which is something I can't help you with. It ALWAYS depends on a bunch of factors. Sometimes, it's just really blatant when someone is taking advantage of you. "Can you go get me coffee? Oh, and can you get me the faxed papers downstairs, too? Oh, and while you're at the cafe, can you also get me a sandwich?" Something like THAT is taking advantage, especially if it's done regularly.

You just need to train yourself to identify when someone is using you. The difference between being a pushover and just being plain nice is the ability to say "no."

Answer 5

be nice, help people,but, have boundaries, what I mean by this , u have to have wisdom in realizing who really needs your help and who don't. By nature, u r a giver, its a part of who u r, don't allow some "petty taker " stop u from being who u r. In life there are givers and there are takers, start recognizing the takers, if, when u tell them no for whatever your reason is and they're pissed at u, u have recognized a "taker pattern". People will do to us what we allow them to, if its not by force. This a good thing u do, giving, just realize how to be wise with it. Good Luck!!!!!!

Answer 6

That's a hard one. I think the problem lies elsewhere, though, not in others, but in yourself. If you were really just doing things for others for the sake of being magnanimous you wouldn't have a problem with not getting any recognition for it. What you're really seeking when helping others is gratitude and perhaps praise. If you never expect something in return when you help others you'll never be disappointed. Why don't you try helping yourself out and improving your self-esteem?

Answer 7

Unfortunately int his world we live in people do take advantage of nice people.

The way to tell the difference - EXPERIENCE.

Answer 8

First of all know when to say no. Also think about the situation. Is this person your friend? Is this really something they can't acheive on their own (are they lazy)?

Answer 9

if you do things more than 70% of the time...you are a push over. if you do nice things, but don't get laid...you are a push over.
if you are so nice an polite, people have mistaken you for being gay...then you are a push over.
if you reach down and don't feel any balls, you are a push over.

Answer 10

its very hard to do this and find out which are doing you in. i can only stay take it slow and easy with people and count your blessings that you are like you are and stay this good someday you will be rewarded.