Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary
8:00am Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30am A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40am Walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30am Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00pm Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00pm Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00pm Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00pm Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00pm Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00pm Wow! Watched TV with my master! My favorite thing!
11:00pm Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary
Day 683 of my captivity : My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape... In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.
The audacity! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released --and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded! The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.......for now.
2007-08-25 21:31:43 · 16 answers · asked by Jim Jnr M 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Lmao......so frickin funny......I'm now terrified of cat of course....!!!!
2007-08-25 22:56:51 · answer #1 · answered by Chav Princess 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The second story is irrelevant. He is not an Australian. He is married to an Australian that is all - Australia has no responsibility to him at all. The only question/issue is that Australia was not even notified that the first prisoner was in prison - that is what the kerfuffle is all about. Just notification.
2016-04-01 23:58:55 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes this is very good, but was not I think written by you? I first heard this `story` about a year ago, I printed it off and still have the copy. It is excellent animal psychology!
2007-08-26 05:14:54 · answer #3 · answered by Social Science Lady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is sooooo true!!! :p
I have three dogs for 12 years and had a cat for 19 years:)
2007-08-26 00:09:27 · answer #4 · answered by Ipek K 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok very good but having looked i can only think that the question you are asking is ' Should I get a Life insteed of writing stuff like this'
My answer is YES
2007-08-25 21:46:41 · answer #5 · answered by thelev51 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
That's all too real for my taste, I knew my husband's cat was making attempts on my life!
2007-08-25 21:47:20 · answer #6 · answered by smeelola 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
little puggy x i always knew thats dogs had the best life x
2007-08-25 21:55:24 · answer #7 · answered by orac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow! i like it! actually felt i was reading a book! when is the next sequel going 2 be released?
2007-08-25 21:45:26 · answer #8 · answered by Ms Medieval 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ha ha very sweet. It's a dog and cats life!!
:-)))
2007-08-25 23:48:43 · answer #9 · answered by Teejay 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's treated good for a dogs prison. wish I had it that good lmao. star for you Jim
2007-08-26 06:31:11 · answer #10 · answered by Deedee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋