How do I deal w/ hubby looking up women online?

Question

We were madly in love until just a few months ago. May to be exact. My body did not change, no recent gains or losses in weight. But he suddenly lost interest in me. Then I discover that he has been pleasuring himself while viewing other women. What do I do? What would be a normal response? I have never felt so ugly in my life. Worse, I am tall and blonde and all of the women he is looking at are short and dark. I am heartbroken over this.

Answer 1

Firstly it isn't a matter of your appearance. I can't tell you what's wrong, and I wouldn't be able to tell you why he's lost interest in you if you described yourself at encyclopaediac length with illustrations and diagrams. But it's not your appearance, it's something he wants and you don't give him.

While you're working on that, get a school cane and spank him hard for looking for other women on the net.

Answer 2

Oh, dear, you did get a naughty one.

I think they call it "Getting some strange." but he's doing it online. That's why they are all short, dark girls. If you were dark, he'd be looking at the blondes. He already has blonde, so he's going for the Strange.

Your man has a Libido. He's visually motivated, and he Likes It. So, play the hand you've been dealt.

Spoil him while he's watching. He'll go mad. A blonde spoiling him now.... and all those dark haired girls dancing before his eyes online....To a man, it's heaven on earth. So much the better if you put the Yankees game on the TV, too....

Men like sex. He loves you. Share in his "hobby." Go to Kama Sutra and Tantric Sex and Sex Information 101 sites with him.
Go to inlustro.com and put the stuff you like in the cart. Give him a budget and have him pick what he likes that's in the cart.

He doesn't think he's cheating, by the way. He's just having sex. It's what men do, all day, every day, in their heads, in their beds, and anywhere else available.

Some of them can be "ready" in, oh,
0 - 0 seconds. All it takes is a little cleavage.

I think it's funny.

We have a little joke here that all anyone has to do is go "Boobs" and three heads turn and go "Where?"

They could be tiny boobs, sagging boobs, 90 year old boobs, but you get the same reaction every time. Oh, Ha ha ha. Men are a riot.

Congratulations, dear, your man has a Libido. I say...Go for it.

Oh, and don't forget the K-Y Warming Liquid. It's Very Nice....

Edit: Regarding feeling ugly, dear. If he's so hot for all the georgeous girls and you're the one he married, in his humble, egotistical opinion ..... you must be the Hottest One of All !

Answer 3

You are right to be concerned. I have been with my husband for 7 years, and there is no drop in our attraction to each other and there have been plenty of changes in that time!!! Granted looking at women is something that many men do, and it is relatively normal, it is still disheartening at times. And once it interferes with your relationship in the form of him turning to the computer instead of you, then it becomes a problem. You need to confront him on the situation, because it can only get worse without any action taken. I would be concerned also about the type of women he was viewing. If it were all types it wouldn't be so concerning, but since he seems to prefer the short and dark, it may be a sign that his affections are elsewhere. If he is not cheating on you with a real woman, you will want to nip this in the bud because it may lead to that. Bring it up to him, because in my opinion, it is a form of cheating since he is not interested in you anymore. Hope all goes well!

Answer 4

hang on i want my husbands perspective, I have gained weight, we've been together longer, but hang on....

how do you know he's not interested in you? (my husband asks) oh apparently he's being a man! is he just being curious? Maybe he just wants to have look. maybe it was just there.

Don't pick this answer to be best answer. My husband clearly proves that men are stupid, that's what drives them to do these things, they have a woman there at their beck and call but OF COURSE a picture on the internet must be more satisfying! Especially for him and Hand! It's hard not to be angry but I would buy a vibrator go to bed early and while he was on the computer moan loud enough for him to notice but then not let him touch. Tit for tat, without causing problems.

Answer 5

Mine does it everyday! It's his way of confirming if he's still "got it". I don't often give it to him so he flirts online. I manage his time so I know he doesn't go on dates with them, unless the girl meets him at his job, or he could be messing with a co-worker. In that case, there's nothing I could do. I don't chase him, and I don't give him what he wants, when he wants it so he looks for it online, primarily. You see, after doing all I can do to instill my love in someone, and they want more and I'm not able to produce more, then he will look elsewhere. It makes him feel more of a man or more wanted. Whatever...I got burnt too many times by putting it all out there for a man. I don't do it anymore. I'm in this marriage deal for more than sex. It may be great but I don't get hung up on that. He provides very well towards home, and me & when he is home he seems to worship our marriage. I could do without him & his attention on any day, to be truthful. I do not let a man control me or my feelings. Sure I'm very concerned about him bringing home something, but if and when that really starts to mess with my head, I will leave him. No matter how much I may tell him that I don't like him online with other women, what good will it do? We all have choices, if we really don't want to deal with something, seek counsel or 'leave'. So if you're pretty sure you are doing everything he wants and fulfilling ALL of the spoiled boys needs, and he still goes online, make your choice. Or, let him play. By the way, the women my little darlin' flirts with online is exactly the total opposite of me.

Answer 6

Umm does the hair color or the stature really matter? Sounds like there is a communication problem here and that physical attributes reign high in both of your thoughts on marriage. If you are so heartbroken then why not talk this out with him?

Answer 7

First you need to ask yourself if he stops can you forgive and move on. If you believe you can then approach him carefully and offer to dress up for him to help fulfill his fantasies. Nothing is wrong with you asking for your own to be fulfilled also. Don't take the appearance of the women personally. He may like both looks and you fulfill the pretty blonde look. Think about how many beautiful movie stars get cheated on. Looks does not keep a relationship together. Keep your chin up and good luck to you. You will make it through this.

Answer 8

First, this is not about you. You are still as attractive as ever. He is going through a "different" phase meaning someone different than you. I would ask him why he feels he needs to do this but I am sure the response he would give wouldn't help. Instead, ask him about his fantasies since he is looking at different women. There are things you can do to "change" your looks (role play). You might not change tall to short but a wig makes you brunette (washable color gets it out quickly). You really need to talk to him about this before he actually finds someone to take the place of his hand. He is headed down a path that could lead to divorce if he continues. And from what you have said, it has very little to do with you. All you can do is try to help him with his fantasies. Then if he still continues and goes further, you have done your best for this marriage.

Answer 9

i've experienced this and i know exactly where you're coming from. my hubby is in iraq and he was looking at other girls on cam because in the military they can't look up porn. i was devistated. i can tell you though that it's not worth loosing your marriage over. talk to him. find out why he's doing this. it might not have anything to do with you. it may be something he's dealing with in himself. just ask him about it and tell him how you feel. he wont know how hurt you are unless you tell him. do everything it takes. and whatever you do, don't be hateful to him because of his mistakes. show him that regardless, you still love him. show him that he has a real woman right there ready to love him and those other internet girls aren't worth losing you over. good luck.

Answer 10

I would be heart broken to if i were you you would of been better off not knowing don't you think. We think we want to know everything about our husbands but i have learned the hard way that it's best not to know.What we don't know won't hurt us,how true how true!! You say you are tall blond but your avatar shows you as plan Jan. Tell me how does one get tired sexual of the person he is suppose to love is it a guy thing.