My twelve year old daughter has a fit where she usually ends up hysterical and crying. She gets frustrated, overwhelmed and loses control. She is an only child who is judgmental and lacks flexibility. She has an unhealthy conflict filled attachment to me & doesn't want to be involved in social group activities out of fear of embarrassment and laziness. Clothes are too tight or loose & she is a picky eater. She has severe but controlled allergies. She was a difficult infant but got worse around 4 yrs. OCD runs in the family. We see a counselor. Our home has no peace & quality of life is low. I want her happy & my husband and I need some peace. What could be wrong with her? How do we help her and keep our sanity?
2007-08-25 18:48:07 · 8 answers · asked by skinnynene 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Although puberty does not help the situation, it is a bigger problem than that. Her friends attempt to redirect her and she doesn't understand and persists to the point they get annoyed with her. She can't handle being corrected or guided in another direction by an adult or a peer. Our new counselor is great & is in the process of seeking assistance. I foresee medication being prescribed, which brings additional concerns. Has anyone experienced or seen an extreme degree of this described behavior?
2007-08-25 20:13:35 · update #1
mental illness to some degree.. and aggravated by teen hormones.. yes i have seen this..
and therapy is the best option,, because sometimes having someone in neutral territory can help, where parents and friends cannot... as for meds... discuss this with the therapist and psychiatrist.. there a lot out there and they can help determine which will be the best....
it runs in my family, in the women, and has for many generations.. so us older generations know the signs and symptoms to look for... and if we see it getting worse we will do something about it...
2007-08-26 01:25:37 · answer #1 · answered by smurfette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speak to the pediatrician about the problems you are having with her. If the counselor you are seeing isn't helping find another and another until you get one that does help. She is at the age of hormonal changes in the body, this can definitely effect her moods.
At that age her body is also changing and can be quite uncomfortable and school friend opinions are very important, so clothes have to be just right for that. Taste buds in every one are different, give her foods she will eat. Don't force her to eat things she doesn't like. You would not want to be forced to eat food you don't like. That is for sure.
She is probably shy, which is actually self centered fear. You have to understand self centered fear and how to deal with it, so you can help her to over come it.
I have found with my own children when they were growing up, that around age 13 is when everything changes in the relationship with parents. That is natural.
I suggest parenting classes. There are some good ones out there. They can teach you new techniques in dealing with her. You could also consult with a physiologist for new ideas on dealing with her. It is up to you to find the right help. You can change her only by changing what you are doing and you need to know how to do that.
2007-08-25 19:32:42 · answer #2 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My friends daughter was the same way, rather recluse and preferred home activities as opposed to anything involving her peers. She was picked on in school for having a terrible overbite but that has since been corrected. She has always had an interest in sports and watched them on TV with her father all the time. Since she is now 15 and is attending high school, her mother talked her into trying out for the girls softball team. She made it on the team and is actually one of the better players. She loves sports and through that has an opportunity to be with other girls her age. It took a while for her mom and dad to deal with this and as for quality time with each other...that was nearly none existent as there are 5 children in the family. You should consider yourself lucky in the sanity department. Anyway, acknowledge your daughters strengths and encourage her to develop these talents more whether it is a talent or interest its worth a try. The better she begins to feel about herself, I think many of her insecurities will disappear. It will take constant praise and encouragement from both you and your husband. I know it sounds like it won't work, but its worth a try. Good luck.
2007-08-25 19:09:50 · answer #3 · answered by SoAZ Gal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good enough so you're recogninzing that you will be opening to behave slightly like your mom. This is average, as a little one you found out to precise anger on this procedure, and that it used to be alright to speak to different folks like that. Perhaps there may be a few type of genetic trait as good, a few type of despair? They say that almost all children who grew up with a foul dad or mum both replicate them or come to be marrying any individual like them which isn't very reassuring. Now you're 24, no longer 12, so that you will have to be capable to look the change among proper and fallacious, and recognise that what your mom did used to be fallacious, and it's not good enough so that you can repeat it. If you cannot aid your self, than you will have to search counselling to avert repeating the cycle together with your possess children sooner or later. You have to inform your self that your mom used to be tousled and had problems, that had not anything to do with you and you are going to be a bigger man or woman than she used to be.
2016-09-05 14:31:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is seeing a therapist, it doesn't sound like she is helping much. You need to change, and find one that YOUR daughter likes, and can trust. Which is very important. Your daughter is "acting out" her feelings and emotions. If she truly shows signs of OCD, she should be seen by a therapist who specializes in the illness. Medication is available. Keep searching for the "why", the end result will be well worth it!
2007-08-25 19:28:22 · answer #5 · answered by sue d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am recommending the very best book I have ever read concerning children amd I have read many. It is written by a physician named Dr. R. Driekurs. ( the spelling might be off ) The book is named "Children: The Challenge".
God bless your lives.
2007-08-25 19:01:19 · answer #6 · answered by jokerthefreak1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's only 12. Think of what's happening to her body. Oh! the hormones! Just think, she's not even a real teenager yet. Teens are no picnic, and you just have to take it day by day. Don't stress and don't choke her! Be supportive.
2007-08-25 18:56:49 · answer #7 · answered by mochachinna76 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"What could be wrong with her?" It's called puberty, I guess you forgot what it was like huh?
2007-08-25 19:37:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋