I am about 11 weeks pregnant. It was definitely not planned, but not unwanted. However, my fiancee's family has been graced with 4 babies in the last four months and when they all get together I am completely over and underwhelmed. I feel intrigued and indifferent all at the same time. I have never been overly fond of babies, but I LOVE children. Everyone is saying that all the babies around will be good practice for me, but I honestly don't have any desire to stay around the babies for too long. It's kinda intimidating and well....boring. Please someone tell me something because I feel a little crummy about it. I especially am not feeling that motherly vibe I keep telling myself I should be exuding towards all babies.
2007-08-25 17:39:25 · 20 answers · asked by Tree of life 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
If you want your baby like you say, you will never get sick of him/her. And trust me, they arent boring. Every day I watch my daughter change. The face she makes when she's trying a new food or the first time she laughs, you will enjoy every minute of it. At least I hope.
2007-08-25 17:46:45 · answer #1 · answered by Samantha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your pregnancy is still new.... the motherly vibe will come in time..... probably in the next few weeks when YOUR baby starts to move. Being around other peoples children is not the same as being around your own. Really, what kind of practice are you going to get by being swarmed with 4 babies at family gatherings??? None, unless you are having quadruplets!!
ps. It also is not completely abnormal for women to not get the baby excitement... but, if after the baby is born you have a feeling of depression or anxiety, tell your doctor.
2007-08-25 17:49:59 · answer #2 · answered by Family 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm one of these people that doesn't particularly like other people's kids but I adore my own. Some women never really get clucky and motherly about babies either. I'm sure when the time comes, you will look at your baby and know what all the fuss is about. It's so different when it is your own.
If anyone says about 'getting the practice' ask them 'why is it so important to spend time with other's babies, when mine comes thats what I'll focus on, i don't need practice'
And yes babies can be boring for the first month or two when all they do is eat, sleep and s***! but it gets better and when its your own its totally blissful.
2007-08-25 17:49:58 · answer #3 · answered by Cindy; mum to 3 monkeys! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You.
Are.
Fine.
I love my little boy. But if I'm around a newborn, I get a little antsy and scared. And yep, babies can be a little boring. They don't really do much and when they are doing something, it's usually either something really loud (crying) or really gross (pooping).
The thing about kids is this: when it's your baby, you can't wait to tell other people about his poop.
And about feeling that "motherly vibe"...don't worry about it. You'll feel it. It might not happen right away after you have your baby, but one day you'll look at that baby and the "motherly vibe" will be so strong, you'll nearly fall over.
Don't worry about how you feel right now. Just try to enjoy being pregnant. And sleep now while you still can!
Good luck and congratulations!!!!!
2007-08-25 17:47:44 · answer #4 · answered by Vanessa P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be too hard on yourself. I used to be horrible with babies and wanted nothing to do with them at all. Never planned to have any children either. Imagine my surprise when my girlfriend (now wife) turned out to be pregnant for our first child. The second I held my daughter in my arms I was a natural parent and all the past angst and mixed feelings about babies disappeared at once.
What you are feeling about being around all of the other babies is normal, at one time there were 4 babies in our household (not all of them were ours thankfully!) and yes it can lead to situations that aren't much fun, but you will have a natural caring happy feeling towards your own :) At least that has been my experience!
Hope it helps.
2007-08-25 17:52:39 · answer #5 · answered by CodingAway 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry too much about it. When your baby gets here it will all be MUCH different. Especially since this is your first you just haven't been through all the emotions of having your own baby that triggers the maternal instinct of women everywhere to smother a baby!
I actually felt that pregnant women were a bit repulsive before I had my first baby and couldn't stand the idea of actually feeling a baby kick through a woman's abdomen! Now it's a miracle of life type sentiment.
You do what you need to do to be comfortable.
Besides look at it this way..You're going to have your fill of a baby soon enough. And you won't be able to give this baby back to it's mother since your mommy! Enjoy your independance while you still have it!
2007-08-25 17:46:47 · answer #6 · answered by starfire978 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trust me, no matter how non-maternal you are, the closer you get towards the end of your pregnancy, the more maternal you'll become. It'll be really gradual, and once your baby is here it'll just feel natural to have the maternal instinct. Other peoples' babies may be boring, but you'll love being around your own baby! Good luck to you.
2007-08-25 20:49:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister had a baby five months before mine. I was pregnant with my second child, but it was only my husband's first child (My first was from a previous relationship). My whole family basically shoved my nephew on him every chance they got. He was sooo uncomfortable and felt bad about it. He felt like he was going to be a horrible father because he didn't want to hold someone else's baby. I reassured him that when its your own child, everything changes. Sure enough, when our son was born five months later, he was so overprotective and loving to him. It was like he was a seasoned pro.
Don't feel bad. Its very natural and common. If it makes you feel uncomfortable, just respectfully decline to hold someone else's child. There is no need to practice. And no amount of practice will prepare you for parenthood.
Good luck!
2007-08-25 17:51:16 · answer #8 · answered by Jes 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i totally know how u feel! and dont let people tell u that it will come as u get further along or that it will be different with ur own child... im sure it will, but i cant stand those generic answers... im almost 39 weeks and still not really feeling "motherly"... ive actually read in some books that its perfectly normal to slowly fall in love with ur own child. just do ur best to be informed so u know what to expect and trust ur instincts... theyre probably more maternal than u would think! gluck... everything will be fine
2007-08-25 18:33:54 · answer #9 · answered by leelee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was sure that i never wanted children, yet both of my natural babies where planned.. i didn't like holding other peoples babies, it just made me uncomfortable.
but i have learned one thing for sure, its a whole new thing when its YOUR baby.. don't worry, you'll bond with your baby and love your baby and discover your baby is the most interesting thing, because well.. it came from you.. don't feel crummy just do whats natural to you, enjoy your pregnancy, hope you are not sick, and just wait till those first strong kicks happen!
2007-08-25 18:06:32 · answer #10 · answered by Kitterkat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could just be your nervous about being a mother and how you will do, so being around the babies makes you think of that!
Also believe me your own child and someone else's are 2 different things...
Also you may be experiencing some pregnancy depression which is very normal!
2007-08-25 17:43:46 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋