i have a friend who i met online when i was in my senior year of hs and his senior year at college (about 2 years ago). when we met he told me he had a sort of fetish for women in tights (like running tights). every time we hang out or whatever he always likes for me to wear tights, and sometimes we end up fooling around, but never to the point of actually having sex. we kinda have a thing for each other, but i could never see myself having sex with or being in a relationship with him. is this a weird "friendship", if that at all?
2007-08-25 16:59:46 · 7 answers · asked by Nacho Chacho 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
who ever said i wasnt having fun too? lol
2007-08-25 18:01:09 · update #1
I'd *really* sit him down with him and talk about this.
It's been going on for what, 2 years now, on and off?
Trust me when I say this....even if he never touched you, he's eventually, at some point, going to be *using you*, if only in his mind's eye, as fantasy material, as someone he can *Imagine* being sexual with, after his own manner. And you say you *have* "fooled around", I'm assuming with foreplay-types of things?
Yeah, you need to talk. And you need to do it *without* his fantasy clothes on. Just talk, tell him firmly and assertively, what you feel. If you don't want it to be sexual, tell him so, and that you are *NOT* playing his game any more. Why on earth do you want to indulge him if *you* never have any fun?
And if, for some reason maybe you do want to have fun with him in a limited, sexual sort of way, you really *really* do need to negotiate it out, maybe even write it down. Make it a power exchange of sorts, that he gets "this" and you get "that" specifically in return. I know, it sounds harsh...
But it has to be done. He's using you basically. He's happy, off in la-la-land because as long as he gets his fetish contact, he's cool with waiting until later to finish. And what are you getting out of this for yourself again? Edit: Point taken, but still, you have to admit that the relationship is lopsided. ^_^ He's getting *way* more out of this than you are it seems.
Talk with him. Cut him off if need be, or negotiate a better deal for both of you. But either way, snap him out of it and get him back to something that resembles reality.
I hope this helps....and remember....don't be meaner than *necessary*. He's not a total freak--this could be *so* much worse, trust me, the tights thing is *tame* compared to what I've seen--so just be *firm* and assertive. The idea is to stand up for yourself, remember, "I statements", don't attack, just assert. Be assertive, firm, and strong, not mean and aggressive.
Thanks for your time. ^_^
2007-08-25 17:25:41 · answer #1 · answered by Bradley P 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal for friends to outgrow one another. Especially when you're maturing. You won't always have the same views or opinions all your life. That's part of life. Even when your an adult you change taste, style and views. Don't force your friends to hang. Let yourself experience new friendships. Remember the more people you interact with the more points of view you hear and the wider perspective you'll on things to come. If your friends can't don't undertsand that all of you are growing up then to bad for them!
2016-05-18 00:10:13 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone is weird, but most people try to hide that. At least he is honest with you but I wonder if he may just be using you because you satisfy his "cravings".
2007-08-25 17:06:14 · answer #3 · answered by Jen D 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, his fetish is weird.
2007-08-25 17:03:01 · answer #4 · answered by Nico 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
O.O I have no comment...
2007-08-25 17:04:25 · answer #5 · answered by Kristin ^_^ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ya-so he can check you out...
2007-08-25 17:04:19 · answer #6 · answered by strange-artist 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kind of, yeah. sorry.
2007-08-25 17:04:14 · answer #7 · answered by truth seeker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋