Guys please answer! Why did my husband allow the neighbors son speak to him with obsenities in front of us?

Question

We live in a townhouse and my neighbors driveway and ours is connected. She is an elderly woman in her late 80's lives alone.

We have 3 cars & were taking our middle car out today. We usually move the middle car out by pulling forward to our neighbors driveway and reversing out. She has 1 car and rarely takes it out. So we found this easier vs moving all the cars to get 1 out. We didn't think we were inconveniencing our neighbor.

Anyhow we were just about to leave with the middle car when the neighbor son (in his late 50's ) pulled in his mom's driveway & parked at the very end close to the street. My husband said " is it ok if i move my car before you park there?" my husband is very quiet, non confrontational and polite so he asked very nicely.

The man says to my hubby " you have keys to the f'ing car behind you move that shi* out the way if you want to leave! "

my hubby was shocked! didn't say anything and my little boy 6yrs old heard all this!

Why didn't my hubby respond?

Now let me point out the obvious

1. we know its her property and she has the right to tell us not to use her driveway to pull our cars out.

2. she is the narc lady on our block, calls the cops because we had the bond fire lid off for a few seconds to restack the firewood.

3. she called the city because my husband had his car parked legally on our driveway but it didn't display our town sticker. ( what business of that is hers?

4. my husband isn't the type of man who's ever been in a fight, confronted someone with words, hes very passive aggressive and feel a lot of people take advantage of that.
ok so im upset because my hubby said nothing and my son seen and heard this all and mommy was the one to put my son in the car and tell that man off.

I told him " that's your choice and right not to allow us to use your driveway but that language and ignorance you displayed wasn't necessary. No need to yell at us to get your point across."

i feel that this man thinks my man is scared

thanks for everyones input! i think you all have a point. this guy was a jerk so better that my hubby didn't say anything in this case your probably all right this guy was probably looking for a fight. i guess i was so fired up that the man did that i got upset at the wrong person. thanks a lot everyone it means a lot to me

Answer 1

ask ur hubby

Answer 2

Your husband obviously had one of two choices.
A: He remains calm and cool. Doesn't give in to the jerk who clearly has an ill mannered personality.
Or,
B: He slams his door, walks to the back of the car, gets in the neighbors sons face and demands an explanation of why he was just spoken to that way.

I personally have had things to happen that literally crawl all over me. But, if my kids are there? I do my very best, which is HARD sometimes, but I do my best to stay cool. Given this particular scene, I have to give kudos to your husband for that. His 6 year old shouldn't have had to see his Dad, who as you say is normally calm and cool anyway, act completely out of character and either use language or other means to let the man get to him. He was able to remain cool. Now, if his son ever says something like "Hey Dad? Why didn't you say something to that man?" Your husband can answer, "Because there are many different kinds of people in the world. They all act different under many different circumstances. What defines us is how we choose to respond. The fact that I didn't let something so unimportant as that man not moving his car get to me told him that while I am sure he has had a bad day, he will not make mine one as well."
Not to mention that this mans mother is an elderly lady, your neighbor,, and I am sure has your respect. It isn't worth upsetting her on your part. Its sad that her son couldn't give her that same respect.
Sorry if I babbled. But, I had a similar thing happen to me a while back. I hope I was able to shed some light on this for you.

Answer 3

I'm sure your husband was shocked to start with. And in todays world it's better to just walk away than to get into a arguement with a butt hole that has no respect for other people and their feelings. I'm sure your husband was embarressed, You said he is a quiet man. He doesn't sound like someone that's going to stoop to that guys level and duke it out in the driveway. What would he be teaching his 6 year old? That it's ok to fight! The guy was out of line and rude. Your husband did the right thing!

Answer 4

Like somebody else reported, reporting it to the government and having them help you out - the two by employing giving him a good lesson approximately regulation enforcement, or maybe spending a night or 2 downtown or in juvie - may well be a great first step to teach him with regards to the implications of stealing. Then, he could desire to ought to make up the money to you, and study the fee of what he stole. at the start, you ought to cancel his party and positioned that funds, and any money he gets as provides, in the direction of the quantity he stole. refer to his friends' father and mom, and clarify the situation, and notice in the event that they're keen to make their young infants (or their young infants are keen to) supply any of the stolen money decrease back. this relies upon on what his friends are like, yet i think of maximum father and mom may well be rather unhappy approximately their infants receiving stolen money and would not recommendations having them supply it (or what of it they have not spent already, do no longer be too difficult on them) decrease back. Then, attempt to return the iPod or sell it, and sell your son's xbox and video games and such, by using fact he can consistently purchase video games and such sooner or later. final yet no longer least, make him paintings doing chores and backyard paintings and such to 'earn' the the remainder of the money which you ought to no longer get decrease back by means of the different procedures. After he's accomplished paying that off, if he needs a video game console or an iPod or something back, he will pay for it along with his very own confusing-earned money. Oh, and floor him thoroughly, for no less than a month or 2, and then tell him he's no longer allowed to pass everywhere it fairly is not below your direct supervision for yet another couple months.

Answer 5

Better for your husband to remain quiet and both of you explain to your son that the man was obviously rude and being rude back is not always the best thing to do. Why have your husband get into it with a jerk and sink to his rude *** level?

In this case your husband did the right thing.

Answer 6

From the sounds of it, the neighbor's son is a rude bully looking to fight so it's probably well your husband didn't respond. It's too bad your kid was exposed to such a boor but much better than seeing his dad struck or kicked.

Answer 7

What would you have wanted him to do? Escalate the confrontation in front of your son? This was obviously not a kind or rational person.

Are you 15? You are worried about if your husband is coming across as a wimp to the loser next door. Do you want your husband to go beat him up?

Answer 8

He didn't want it to turn into a full blown confrontation. Those type of people are best not provoked. IF he was to throw a fit with him he would be just as bad as the guy who cursed in front of a kid.

Answer 9

He may just be non confrontational, and was probably too shocked by this guys behavior to react or respond to his obscenities. I am sure your husband did not want to start anything worse in front of your child.

Answer 10

You already answered the question. "my husband is very quiet, non confrontational ". He is uncomfortable making a scene. But you were there, why didn't you say something? I would have told him "Sorry if this bothered you, you can say so without the nasty language though".

Answer 11

he used his intellect rather than his emotions.

he did the right thing.

there is nothing noble in physical or violent confrontation

today could be a much different day if he has responded differently

he neighbors son was obviously out of control