My bf and I broke up over a month ago. I've been thinking about his past and present behavior and it just seems to me that he may have a personality disorder. He has been in trouble with the law (DUI) yet still continues to drink and drive. He has hit me/been aggressive in the past while drinking, but no apology the next day. Gave me no presents for my B-day. Wanted to take me on a trip over xmas, said he had the tickets, then disappeared for a month. Has lied to me and stood me up many many times. I am 8 mos preggo w/ his baby and he would always say "I want you to have our baby" and then we broke up b/c he said he wasn't ready, that we couldn't have it. I told him no and to get out of my life. He e-mails the next day telling me to go f*** myself and that he has a new gf, that sh'e preggo and to forget about him. He hasn't called to check on me or the baby (due in Oct) I'm 34, independent and moving on. I was just thinking about it and wanted to put the question out there.
2007-08-25 15:23:36 · 8 answers · asked by pussnboots333 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Yes I know I was an idiot for staying with him. It's hard to step back and truly look at a relationship when you are "in love" I know he used me, but why for 2 years. I feel that everything he has said was just a lie and he was being manipulative and used me until the good times ended. Having a kid means having major responsibility and he was very immature. thought he would grow up. Guess I was wrong.
2007-08-25 15:25:50 · update #1
Also, he would show up at my place wasted and want me to go with him to get something to eat. I wouldn't go of course, but to put me in a dangerous situation was beyond my understanding.
2007-08-25 15:27:27 · update #2
Hi Tera, I am going to speak with a councellor about this. Should I file for child support if there is a chance he could have this disorder?
2007-08-25 15:42:58 · update #3
Yes, he does sound like someone who COULD have an anti-social disorder....what comes to mind is psychopathy, sociopathy, and narcissism...could be any of those. In order to be more certain, you need to educate yourself as much as possible on these topics, and examine closely your experiences with this person. Also, take a good look at how he treats others in his life. It may help you a lot to talk to a psychologist or highly credentialed therapist, as well. There is a lot of information you can obtain via the internet regarding anti-social disorders.
The thing is, if he is anti-social, there is no cure. He will not change. Even if he WANTED to change, he will be incapable of it. If he really is anti-social, your best bet is to cut contact with him, as much as it might pain you to do so. Do it for yourself, and for your baby. Anti-social personalities bring nothing but misery and pain to the people they come in contact with-- esp. those that love them. He will not be capable of real love, or empathy, or considering anyone else's needs. He will only see the world in from his own selfish, self-centered perspective. People are only to be used...and if their usefulness runs out, he'll move on to the next "victim." If he's truly anti-social, you can't change him. He can't even change himself. Your best bet is to protect yourself from further emotional, psychological and physical harm. This means having no more contact with him. It may help you tremendously to speak with someone who is a mental health professional to help you through this very difficult time. You need a lot of support right now. You would even if you weren't pregnant. The pregnancy complicates this matter even further. I know you feel like you want him to be a father, and share in the life of your child. But if he's anti-social (the father), he'll do more harm than good in this baby's life. You both would be better off without him.
I was married to a person (for 15 years) who was psychopathic... I ended up in a relationship later on with a sociopath./narcissist. Unfortunately, I've had to learn the things I know now the "hard way." I got help. You can, too. I recommend reading this book: "Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People who Drain you Dry." It's very insightful and gives extremely useful information on how to deal effectively with people who have these kinds of disorders. It will help you learn how best to identify them, and protect yourself from them.
Good luck to you!
2007-08-25 15:39:42 · answer #1 · answered by It's Ms. Fusion if you're Nasty! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Past is past let it go for the sake the ur baby. As for child support statistically it ain't happening. But file anyways, he come into inheiritence, any gov. winnings, taxes they keep it, or what's owed. But after a certain amount of time ( in Canada) they will take his licence, tools, vehical. Just do it in support of the number of women and kids, being trashed by scum like this. Just cause u love someone does not make them good for u. This society is slowly crumbling and the experts will tell u, in future todays financial support to single mothers and kid 's will NOT b there, yet the problem is worsening. Time to look at the beggers and starving children of India, Africa. Look close enough, those faces will start 2 resemble ur children.
2007-08-25 23:46:13 · answer #2 · answered by ferochira 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not anti social disorder, which is a non emotional person who uses other literally like objects in order to get what they want. Maybe his drinking is even worse than you thought? The definition of alcoholic is a personality change regardless of how much they drink. Your ex just sounds like a user. Of course he wants you to forget him. That way he doesn't pay child support. Make sure you file for it.
2007-08-25 22:41:57 · answer #3 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry - but you are so better off and so is your baby without this person in your life. I wouldnt call it an antisocial personality disorder, I would call it a loser, with no hope of ever growing up. All the best to you and your new baby - focus on that and having a better life for the both of you.
2007-08-25 22:33:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he maybe an alcoholic. If so, it is his problem not yours. Take care of yourself and your child. He doesn't seem capable of being a father right now. Just make sure you get the child support your child deserves.
2007-08-25 22:36:11 · answer #5 · answered by Tam Tam 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your ex-boyfriend has anti-social personality disorder... He has asshole personality disorder.
Don't even worry about him. Let the guy continue to be an asshole if he wants (he'll be miserable), as long as he's not intefering in your life.
2007-08-27 10:48:26 · answer #6 · answered by RiRi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dont know about antisocial disorder
sounds like a right wanker
and you are by far better off without him anywhere near you or baby as he plainly dosent care for either of you
2007-08-25 22:33:47 · answer #7 · answered by bob 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a jerk-disorder to me... take care of yourself and the baby because this man isnt going to.
2007-08-25 22:36:59 · answer #8 · answered by ♥ [cindy] 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋