Is worrying about "people talking behind your back" a deep psychological problem?

Question

My sister has this paranoia, worrying about everyone (family, friends, coworkers, etc) talking behind her back. From what I know, everyone associated with her have really nothing negative to say about her, at least to me.

But one aspect I did notice in my millions of short-talk with her is that she is also protective of people in general (even if she doesn't know them) and doesn't like others who express their opinions of them.

Example: We talk about the 007 movie "Casino Royale" on DVD and I felt the director's work was subpar. She shouts back: "HOW DARE YOU TALK BEHIND HIS BACK!" My reply is: Huh?

In a way, she despises critics in general and feels they talk behind people's backs.

Is she losing her mind? I know for sure she has anger management problems in recent years which also doesn't help. I'm surprised so far that didn't lose friends over talking about, really nothing issues (like the above example).

Is there even a medical/psychological term for this?

I -know- what it means when someone "talks behind your back" - and I am not asking for a definition of it.

I am asking if someone who is basically OBSESSED over this has a personal problem.

Answer 1

I think she needs to talk to someone.. she sounds very sweet and compassionate but it is a little over the top there.. and that can be nerve wracking.. did something happen in her childhood to make her feel this way. I know when someone goes through something traumatic they are aware of others and their feelings.. As a concerned brother I would seek services.. make a few phone calls and and get a professional opinion.

Answer 2

ALTHOUGH it is often classed as 'mental illness', clinical depression often has as many physical symptoms as mental. The feelings or emotions that are depression symptoms actually begin to cause the physical effects. How this happens is a vital part of understanding depression and the symptoms that come with it.

If you are depressed at the moment some of the following symptoms may sound familiar:


You feel miserable and sad.
You feel exhausted a lot of the time with no energy .
You feel as if even the smallest tasks are sometimes impossible.
You seldom enjoy the things that you used to enjoy-you may be off sex or food or may 'comfort eat' to excess.
You feel very anxious sometimes.

You don't want to see people or are scared to be left alone. Social activity may feel hard or impossible.

You find it difficult to think clearly.

You feel like a failure and/or feel guilty a lot of the time.

You feel a burden to others.

You sometimes feel that life isn't worth living.

You can see no future. There is a loss of hope. You feel all you've ever done is make mistakes and that's all that you ever will do.
You feel irritable or angry more than usual.

You feel you have no confidence.

You spend a lot of time thinking about what has gone wrong, what will go wrong or what is wrong about yourself as a person. You may also feel guilty sometimes about being critical of others (or even thinking critically about them).
You feel that life is unfair.

You have difficulty sleeping or wake up very early in the morning and can't sleep again. You seem to dream all night long and sometimes have disturbing dreams.

You feel that life has/is 'passing you by.'

You may have physical aches and pains which appear to have no physical cause, such as back pain.

It's this wealth of depression symptoms, and the broad scope that confuses many people as to what depression actually is. Explanations rarely cover all the symptoms, and everybody's experience is different.

Answer 3

i am very similar
i think it is just paranoia! i can't get over it
have sympathy for her cause i bet she is very worried all the time. she cares deeply for how she is percieved by others and what words are flyin about her

i fear this too especially after i break up with someone. be it lousy buddy or someone i am dating

my sister told me this quote from sex and the city that i always try to rmember:
"if i worried about what every b@$%h in New York said about me, I'd never leave my house!"

it is true, you cannot contol what other people say.
the only thing u can do that comes close is to just be a good person and kind to people and honest. try to limit the bad stuff by being the best you can be without worrying about other people. in otherwords don't do things or say things or treat people in a manner you'd be ashamed of.

Answer 4

1 st i am no doc
not liking people who say bad things about others is a good thing it does not sound like she has a severe mental problem just trouble expressing how she feels or the lack of anyone caring that its wrong to gossip.
it may be that she cares to much and is obsessing about it people do this as they get older she probably needs an outlet
also insecure people think people are talking about them pointing out their faults this is a reflection of ones self its what they think of themselves
she only has a real problem if it is affecting her work (cant keep a job ) or thinks people are after her IE aliens or the gov etc....
lots of people have anger problems in this fast paced and over work world we live in even me i have just learned to accept the fact that you cant fix stupid.

Answer 5

Its maybe a persecution complex - thinking everyone is out to get them, whether real or imagined. Needs some expert advice - talking to a counsellor would be a good start. She may just be a very highly sensitive soul that cant handle anything negative about herself or anyone - real or imagined. She needs to toughen up!, or risk some serious emotional damage. You could try talking to her about this, and get the ball rolling and see where it leads you. Good luck!

Answer 6

wow ! maybe she had an experience in grade school with some evil popular girls slandering her name..... im just saying - what would she do to someone that did talk behind her back ? she might need some mild therapy there brother. ♥ and i agree the work was subpar, definately could have been better.

Answer 7

she might feel that poeple dont have anything nice to talk about her behind her back even they only have nice things to say. it is nice not to talk behind someones back but i thnk she is too much. she have some psychological problem. like ur example u were just saying how good the director's work. she didnt need to get soo worked up about that. there is something wrong with her

Answer 8

I don't know, if its medical. But the more time you spend thinking about yourself the More paranoid you become.
Introduce her to people with real problems so she can get a better perspective on life.

Answer 9

My Dad used to get really upset if he heard anyone in the family say anything bad about anyone. He never said anything bad about anyone and couldn't stand to hear it, but he didn't seem to care what others might be saying about him.

Answer 10

it IS possible she has some form of paranoia/paranoid schizophrenia, but i doubt it. it seems more likely she simply just despises critics.