I am at home during the day with our 9-month-old baby. However, I am a full time PhD student and I run my own business where I have to complete major projects from home. My husband gets home on a regular basis, sometimes as late as 10pm. When I speak to him about it (every evening) he does the same thing the next evening despite telling me he will be home earlier. I understand his job is very demanding but is he also a work-a-holic. My schoolwork and professional projects for my business and patience is suffering. In the evening I am juggling bathing, feeding, and putting the baby down, school work, & projects for the biz, cooking dinner, & simply sitting down to take a breath. How do I get him to understand where I am coming from aside from yelling every night when he comes home, failing a class, closing down the biz, or having a nervous breakdown and then saying I told you so?
2007-08-25 14:03:55 · 10 answers · asked by LemonDrops 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stop running your own business. Go to school if you want, but focus on being a mom first and foremost.
Take things out of your schedule to give you less stress and you'll be a better mom.
2007-08-25 14:14:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Are you completing your courses on-line or on campus? If campus, do they offer daycare. If on-line I would recommend getting some-one in a couple of hrs a day for your school. Do you both own the business, if so let him take on some of the projects and see if he can handle it. If not, you may have to hire someone to do some of the projects for you. Under no circumstances do you give up on your dreams or goals. Ask him to cut back on his hrs or have him work from home two days a week. I truly understand, I work p-t, attend school p-t recently started a small business and have three children, oldest 13 and youngest 3 yrs. Keep your head-up.
2007-08-25 14:43:06 · answer #2 · answered by wcomebackmorrow 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please tell me why you had a baby. I mean, you CAN prevent that, and clearly you aren't ready for it.
Why can't you hire someone to come in and either help you run your business or take care of the baby more often? Clearly you are both workaholics in one sense or another. You need to sit down, TALK, and make some decisions about what needs to get cut, and what can be delegated to someone else.
If you can't do that, you don't have a marriage.
2007-08-25 14:27:53 · answer #3 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, your family comes first. If you took on schoolwork and professional projects for your business, that is your problem. He is doing what he's supposed to be doing, which is going to work and bringing home his paycheck.
If I were you, I would cut out the business stuff. Taking all that on was your choice. You bit off more than you can chew.
Family comes first.
Suggest you hire a nanny or maid to help you. It isn't your husband's responsibility to rescue you from your obligations that he didn't put on you.
2007-08-25 14:14:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Tell him he has to take care of the baby three nights a week and you will take care of the baby four nights a week. Taking care of the baby should be done together everynight is better. It should bond you together. Right now it is tiring you out and he feels left out and is creating more distance. If you both take care of the baby at the end of the night there might be more romance.
2007-08-25 14:16:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, what a hectic existence you 2 lead! this is why my husband and that i do no longer want young ones - it incredibly is only too plenty rigidity. We the two artwork finished time jobs, I put in 40 hrs a week, he places in approximately fifty 5. i think of your ideal wager is to guard the toddler and depart your different projects on my own until eventually you have genuine time for them.
2016-10-17 00:04:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Skip making dinner for a while. It will give you a bit more time for the other stuff and make a point to him that he needs to help out at home.
2007-08-25 14:30:06 · answer #7 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like somebody set their goal's a little higher then they needed to and now is burning out.
Stop doing everything , dont wash his clothes , dont cook for him , dont give him sex , dont do anything for him he'll snap out of it .
He'll wonder at 1st then get angry then go off , you simply smile and look into his eye's and say well sorry darling but marriage is a 2 way street and until you want to be a part of the baby and my life and accept us as "YOUR" family I have to do what I need to for the baby and I and well your on your own.
Sometimes a kick in the pants is needed to remind him if he wanted to stay a momma's boy he should have stayed living with mommy.
2007-08-25 14:19:51 · answer #8 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i think the only way to get his attention is by talking to him... not just talking for the sake.. but really having a heart2heart talk... the serious one without the bickering and yelling and pointing fingers... you both have to reach a compromise on things... otherwise.. it won't work...you'll both just be hating each other and worst... leaving separate lives... do you want that to happen???
2007-08-25 14:46:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why dont you look into daycare for the baby? gives you some time off ...start with part time at first if they let you...Spending money may get his attention quickly....Also make sure he is actually working and dosnt have someone on the side. Keep an eye out....
2007-08-25 14:13:10 · answer #10 · answered by **Mishelly** 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋