why do people assume this about teenagers?

Question

Why do people atomaticly assume that because I am a teenager having sex, that I have no idea the consequences. I know about STD's so I use a condom. I know that you can get pregnant easy, thats why im on birth control. I know the emotional risks and thats why I dont sleep around. I have sex with my boyfriend of 1 1/2 years, after we were both tested for STD's. He also put a promise ring on my finger. So these are my questions.

1. Parents do you honestly think your kids would tell you if they were having sex?

2. Do you think there are any other consequences of teenagers having sex that I havent already thought of?

3. Would you buy your teenager condoms if they asked?

4. If I was to tell you I am white and my boyfriend is black, would that change any of your opinions?

Im probably going to add more as I think of them..

Also anyone that is going to respond to this with stupidity needs to go somewhere else, considering im being mature about this.

I asked a couple questions, I dont know if you saw that or not. Dont answer my question with you already have it all figured out because thats not what im asking. Btw: I don't know if this makes a diffrence, but im pretty mature for my age. Last year my mom was hospitalized for a couple of months and I was forced to run my own household (school, bills, cleaning etc.) I did a pretty good job too :D

For the second time, I don't belive I have it all figured out. Im asking questions because im curious to what your opinions are. I know I might not be with my boyfriend when I get older and Im okay with that. Thanks to those who are accually answering my questions!!!

Yea my names ghetto_princess283... I think its a nice name too =) thats why I chose it.

Sorry for all the edits. My mom does know that im having sex. & my dads out of the picture if that matters any. Also im not trying to make it a race issue. Im asking your opinions.

I agree with most of you. I am in the high school that has the highest rate of STD's in Missouri and the highest rate of teenage pregnancy in Missouri. So Im sure you guys can see why im so sick of people assuming im so irresponsible. Yes, I do use condoms as a back up method (since we are both std negative) Thanks to all the people who answered my questions and although I dont agree with some of you I still value your opinions, (thats what this question was all about)

Answer 1

I completely agree with you being a teenager myself, we are taught all in school about pregnancy and stds. I think adults can be so ignorant considering that times have changed, we arent as stupid as they want to make it seem. Every where we go we are reminded of sex whether its on tv or in music on billboards ect and adults of this generation didnt have that so they have no point reason to judge. I think its un fair that just because some teenagers are irresponsible with sex we all have to pay the price for it. I feel sex should be a maturity issue, not an age issue i know adults who shouldnt be allowed to have kids because they are so immature. So i think it would be greatly appreciated if parents could see where we are coming from!

Answer 2

Out of concern. You will find over time that teenage relationships of all types are some of the most intense that you will ever experience. I believe that this has to do with the seemingly sudden, but incredibly intense hormonal surges that teenagers feel, without yet having the perspective to provide a system of checks & balances. Your frame of reference at this point, is more dependent upon that of your friends, then that of the world at large. I am not trying to lecture/judge you, just to answer your questions.

1. not necessarily.
2. emotional distance/perspective.
3. yes.
4. absolutely not.

You seem to have a lot of common sense (which is an oxymoron, since common sense seems to be in rare supply these days). I notice that you don't give your age, or that of your boyfriend. It's important that you're both using protection, and have been tested. Two questions come to mind (as they would whether you were a teen or not): have you actually seen your boyfriend's test results and it's great that you're being faithful, is he? What proof do you have besides a promise ring?
I applaud your thoughtfulness and maturity.

Answer 3

Teenagers in general are not that bright. They are not kids,yet not adults. It's a learning experience. Most times the teenager does something stupid. You sound more mature than average, yet relationships are extremely tricky. Hence the divorce rate. Accidents happen even with the pill and other forms of birth control. Read the labels and they will tell you none is 100% reliable. Having children at your age will be trying for both you and the baby. However you sound like you know every thing already so no amount of advise from us older and wiser will influance your decision. Good luck.

Answer 4

What are you looking for . . . reassurance?

1. If you think it's no big deal, why don't you tell your parents you're having sex? In your mind, there is nothing wrong with it, so be open and honest and tell them how grown up and mature you are by taking all of the "necessary precautions."

2. There are plenty of consequences to teens having sex. Most of the are the same as non-teens having sex. You've already made up your mind so no one is going to convince you of anything different.

3. (See 1) You ask if parents really think that their kids would tell them if they are having sex. So, to answer this question . . . no. If they weren't open and honest with me, why would I do something for them? Also, they would be under 18, not just teens, so I probably wouldn't in that case either. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but I wouldn't condone and support it if they were underage and MY kids.

4. No. I'm not racist, so why would your skin color affect my decision in any way? Your original question is about teenage sex, now you turn it into a race issue. Again, I question what you are looking for here. Anyone who disagrees with you, you will have an argument for them. So what is this about . . . reassurance?

Answer 5

Because - you have just proven that once again you DONT know it all about sex.
Sex goes far beyond any disease or pregnancy. There is the whole other issue of being mentally ready for such actions, the moral issue. Thats a whole other side you arent even considering. Do you honestly understand that in just a few short years from now the kind of guys you find attractive now you probably wont be able to stand? It happens to alot of girls and guys. The kind of people they date as a teenager turn out to be totally different than the kind they marry as an adult. Do you honestly want your first sexual experience with a guy to be such - to be with the kind of person that years later you wouldnt give the time of day to?
I dont know if you understand where im coming from or not.....

One other important issue.
There is no form of birth control that is 100% effective against pregnancy and disease. You still could get pregnant, and still could catch something.

Answer 6

1. Parents do you honestly think your kids would tell you if they were having sex?

Hopefully my children will be confortable enough with me to beable to come and talk to me about this before they. But concidering most dont I hope they will be well informed and mature about it.

2. Do you think there are any other consequences of teenagers having sex that I havent already thought of?

i dont have your mind so I am unsure what you are thinking. I can understand you fusteration, i too had it.

3. Would you buy your teenager condoms if they asked?

Yeah, but if they were under 15 I would have serious issues with it.

4. If I was to tell you I am white and my boyfriend is black, would that change any of your opinions?

NEVER!!!! Im not like that!!!

Answer 7

1. I hope my daughter and me can have an open relationship and she will feel comfortable to tell me, and ask me questions. I know she will do it eventually and I want to make sure she has all the facts first

2. No, there is alot of education about std's out there and consequences of sex. Nagging your kids about "not having sex" will not mean a thing. Their gonna do it anyway. So you gotta be someone that they can confide it and trust.

3. Of course! I would be happy to know she wants to use protection

4. No, as long as he loves you unconditionally


You seem like a very mature person and quite capable of making your own decisions. All the best

Answer 8

1- That depends on the family relationship. My best friend in highschool told her mom. I did not.

2- Do you realize that people still get pregnant despite using multiple forms of prevention? My first daughter was conceived on the last day of my period (which is not usually a fertile time, in case you dont know). I was also on the pill, and we were using condoms (didnt mess up the pill, and the condom never broke) Have you also taken into consideration the consequences of being on birth control? Did you educate yourselves on the risks before going on it? Some people have a very hard time getting pregnant later in life after being on hormonal birth control for long periods of time.

3- Yes, I would, and I'd get them on another form of birth control too.

4- No, love is blind. The only thing to consier in that situation is that despite the fact we live in a more open-minded society, children of mixed races are still teased sometimes.


Being such an intelligent young person, I assume you know that babies can happen no matter how "careful" a person is. My own daughter is proof of that. Have you considered how fair it would be to bring a child into the world if you are not adequately prepared for it?

I was married at 19, and we also had our first child at that age. Since she was unplanned, things were very difficult. I was incredibly sick during my pregnancy (is that something else that you have considered?), and was unable to work. Both our vehicles broke down in the same week, and my husband lost his job because he was unable to commute. The job market was bare, so getting another job took MONTHS. We were forced to get state assistance, because we refused to abort our child just because the timing wasn't perfect. It wasnt easy, but we've made it work and gotten our lives together. We are now 22, and expecting our second (planned) child. Do you have it in you to do anything and everything for your child, in the case of unexpected pregnancy? Are you certain that this man deserves to be a father? Would you want him as your own father? If not, then he is not good enough for your potential child.

You say you and your bf have both been tested for STDs. You also say that you know about STDs, and therefore you use a condom. Does that mean that one of you has an STD? Otherwise, you would have said that condoms are your backup birth control or something. If you are both clean, then certainly STDs arent a concern.

Also, dont ASSUME that everyone sees teenagers the same way.

It is in our nature to want the best for our species. When people see stupid and /or unprepared people breeding, it is naturally sickening to us. The odds are against you. Most teens who have sex and end up pregnant do not spend the rest of their lives with their partner. Statistically, children who have TWO loving parents turn out better. Its just that way. Its not about judging you just for the fun of it. Its about wanting the best for the child that you could inadvertently create. Its about seeing LESS kids suffer in foster care. Its about less kids being abused by stressed out parents who didnt want to be parents in the first place. Its about seeing less people on government assistance. Its about creating a better world in general. Kids who have ADULT, PREPARED, LOVING, MARRIED, parents have a better chance to be succesful and happy in life.

This isnt about YOU at all. The sooner you see that, the better for everyone.

My basic opinion: If two people arent ready and willing to raise a child together, they have no business unzipping their pants. If everyone lived like that, there would be a lot less problems in this world, and a lot less unloved/unwanted children.

Answer 9

Unfortunately, most teenagers are not aware of STDs and pregnancy. I am an educator and have seen so many teens get pregnant. Who knows how many of those that are sexually active are infected with STDs. Luckily, you are taking responsibility for your actions. Good luck and I hope you stay smart. Having sex at such a young age is a big step and a big responsibility. Take care

Answer 10

First of all, you are not being mature about this since obviously it is bothering you that people think this way about teenagers. Second, people think this way about teenagers because they have been there, done that, got the t-shirt, catch my drift? Third, I personally could care less at your pick in guys-that's your choice, you have to live with it. Sounds to me like this is something that bothers YOUR parents. Fourth, I know my kids will tell me if and when they are having sex; Parents aren't so naive that they won't notice changes in their children's behavior. Fifth, if my kids were too embarrassed to buy condoms, then I certainly hope they would at least be responsible enough to come to me and ask me to get them for them-it's not like I would be buying them cigarettes or alcohol. And sixth, since you have it all figured out, let me ask you something (again), why do you even care? Apparently you know it all and really arent thinking that what actions you take now could quite possibly affect your future. Good luck to you. And by the way "Ghetto Princess" (nice name I might add), these are not assumptions, CHILDREN like you prove it to be fact.