Why is mom so hung up on this?

Question

My mom has made some bad choices in her life, 2 divorces etc. and the third one is a doozy because he wants to isolate her from her family and tried to isolate her from my brother and I who were 12 and 19. Then started a war with her brothers and sisters to further do this. She has this major hang up with anyone giving her advice even if its good advice or with good intent. She claims this is why she hates her brothers and sisters because they gave her advice growing up and she is sick of it. She tells me all the time how she is an adult and no one is going to tell her what to do. The sad part is if she had listen to them she may not have made such bad choices. I know this and this irritates me to no end when she says this statement that I see as ignorant and immature. She is 52. Why is she so offended by people offering advice, anyone! Please help. This is eating away at me.

I am 29 now and have been hearing this since I was 5. My aunts and uncles have no idea why she hates them.

Answer 1

That sounds like a hard position mate, you poor thing. I would try not to let it get me down too much for a start, take a step back a little in yourself and take some time out, do something you want to do for a while and get your mind off it. This may help you gather you thoughts up a little. Try and remember that the world is complicated at the best of times! Then, Just be your mom's friend, she probably just needs that right now. There is no competition against someone who listens, if you know what I mean.

Answer 2

Chances are good that she was controlled by her parents and siblings. Comes a point when everyone gets tired of being told what to do. The hardest part for a good parent is just letting a kid make his/her own choices and grow. Some parents' never give praise, give too much, they just never let a kid grow up.

Let your mother learn on her own. She's overdue. If everyone just shut up, she'd prolly make good decisions. She's just rebellious because she's had NO freedom. She's 52 and never had time to herself, to experience life.

She's been nagged to death, her whole life.

I would have tattoos, do drugs, live abroad, a young lover and other offenses, if I were your mother.

If she ever had a life, she would have learned. Leave her alone, let her have a life. Tell the fam to do the same. Six months to a year, she'll be fine.

Answer 3

you are exactly right, she is stubborn and ignorant. I wouldn't constantly want people telling me what to do either, but honestly, the "I'm adult thing?" that is what a kid says to their parents when they get in trouble for going out past their curfew,

I don't think there is much you can do about it, depending on how old you are. If you live with her and are a minor, maybe you can do something if her new husband is actually forcing her away from you.

Answer 4

Have you thought that it may be the way the advice is given? If you are lacking in self confidence, (which sounds like your Mum), confident sibling advice in particular, can be very intimidating. Ask your Mum what advice she would give someone in the same situation then really listen to her answers. You may be surprised at the end result.

Answer 5

She is probably attracted to men who are abusive and narcissistic, or feels that she deserves them.
She needs psych counseling badly but will probably not ever go for help.

Answer 6

it's her life and she is wanting to live it ... she doesn't want people to tell her what to do.. she must be in love and shes blinded by it. she cant see whats going on around her or she doesn't want to.. sorry your going threw it but when you get older you'll understand more about it

Answer 7

Not sure what to say about your mom. Hope you take advice critically.

Answer 8

get away from her while you still can.