Is my writing not good enough?

Question

I've posted pieces of writing (stories) but there always seems to be a issue with them. I always wonder how derivative books like Eragon become bestsellers when a lot of people dislike them but everyone keeps telling me that I need to get better just to impress an agent, let alone getting published.

Here's the link. If you like the 1st Chapter, please proceed to the 2nd. Thanks
http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-zeess2sydLSfKoOI4jnqHg13;_ylt=ApKVCPKslBo1alPTxEagG.WsAOJ3

Answer 1

i thought it was very good.
i like how u described stuff like when the guy took off his hat in the beggining. nice work

Answer 2

I think you have an interesting style, but that it gets in the way of your storytelling. I found it difficult to wade through the quirky turns of phrase to get to the actual story. I'm not saying that you should flatten out your style completely, just that you should finetune it. Also, keep in mind that your story comes first, quirky turns of phrase second. Your style should always go in the service of telling your story, not the other way around.

I also noticed a tendency toward beginning a paragraph with lots of philosophical musing or scenery description and waiting until the last sentence to say what the paragraph's about. That's the other way around from what you should do. Yes, it's your story, but if you don't hook the reader in, it will remain told to the air.

I'd say it's time for you to try out a workshop. Check out the Speculations site (http://www.speculations.com/ ). They have information on that. You could also try the Other Worlds Writers Workshop (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/OWWW/ ). Just remember to answer the questions about your full name and the like. They won't let you in otherwise.

Finally, you really should take down that stuff that you have posted. Once you post something online, it is published. You're now going to have a very difficult time selling that same material to a market. Try out a workshop instead and after you get some advice, rewrite and start sending things out.

Answer 3

I read it and told you I liked it but not the first paragraph. I liked it better when it began "Is he dead?" ... I also read your responses here and I think you have a very good sense of creative writing. You pick up and point out some very valid things. Eragon got its break because the Paolini parents are in the publishing business. Don't compare yourself to that. There was very little original about those books - just knock offs of Anne Mc Caffrey books. Just be yourself and keep writing. What you are doing is good, but there is room for improvement - always. Try getting a short story or two into some of the anthologies that are always seeking new authors. It will help you establish a name. There are some starred posts on my profile regarding anthology writing. Pax - C

Answer 4

ALthough I did not get to read your writing (browser problems) , I can tell you this from personal experience. If you are a first time author, they will always want you to change your style to impress the mass public. They will give you suggestions to rewrite it, and tell you to resubmit it, and then pass on you anyways. It is nothing to take personal. It has actually happened to authors who are now famous for writing the greatest classics considerably. Try and try again. As long as it is grammatically correct, keep trying. Submit it to a different publisher, or try a company that publishes online, just to build a reputation. Good Luck!

Answer 5

It is very good altogether, but I didn't really like how you just dove right into the story and gave away information that would just confuse the reader. The description in it is rather good, but like I said, you need to pace yourself a little more.

Altogether, very good. It is refreshing to find a story that is more original and creative than some "bestsellers" out there.

Answer 6

I think it is good.. but maybe you are trying too hard? I mean when the conversation is flowing I got hooked, but I think you were giving too much detail. Also you could improve the beginning. The middle of Chapter 1 is really good too, a build up of suspense. If this isn't working, you could change the whole style of your writing... Good luck with your writing. =]

Answer 7

Ok seriously! You've asked this already and you're basically going to get the same answers! Calm down and chill.

1. If you keep doing this someone who thinks it's good may steal it.

2. It should be your own opinion if you think you're good or not.

3. It's good. My opinion.

If you like I would be more than willing to act as an editor of sorts for you. I myself am a writer. I see several thinks that need to be fixed, I'll help if you like. Just email me. =]

-Carlena

Answer 8

Your writing is wonderful and the detail is amazing!

Answer 9

I found it amusing =]
Who cares what the people that don't like it say?
I say, do what you do best, theres always room for improvement... =]