My fiance and I recently came across the subject of porn in a conversation. I know he went through a phase when he was younger where he was addicted to porn and probably masturbated quite frequently. He's had a very troubled childhood and has come out surprisingly well, so I don't consider this a big mark in his past. However I asked him if he still pleasures himself and watch porn, and he says occasionally, when he's at home. He's has been staying with me and my family for the past several weeks, and can always come see me so I don't see the need for him to do this. It bothered me a little that he does this because he have a very healthy sex life (he is my first partner) even though he have to keep it very private since no one in my family except for my older sister knows that I'm sexually active (religious background). Anyway, I asked him if he wouldn't do it anymore and he didn't seem to have a problem with agreeing. But men: was I wrong to ask him that? Is it important to you?
2007-08-25 12:58:13 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What I wanted to add is, is it still important to men even if they've found the woman they want to spend the rest of their life with? Do you still have that desire even if you have a healthy sex life with your partner?
2007-08-25 13:00:10 · update #1
All issues should be on the table in a relationship and I never understand why a video is sometimes more important than the woman in the man's life.
2007-08-25 13:04:55 · answer #1 · answered by Zombie Birdhouse 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am not a man so I can't answer how important it is to men. I do know that porn addiction is serious as any other addiction and though some can break it, others can not. If he says he does so periodically you need to look at how important it is to you that he does it not at all. If he was addicted before, he can be addicted again. Some people need help to break the cycle and since he can have you anytime yet still veiws porn I would talk to him about it more. He says he will give it up with no problem so believe him but be cautious.
2007-08-25 13:05:37 · answer #2 · answered by 'lil peanut 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, watching porn is part of a man's makeup. It has absolutely nothing to do with the frequency of your sex, the quality of your sex, or how much he loves you. The male body and mind is hard wired to enjoy watching naked women's bodies. It's okay!! Ditto masturbation. It's perfectly normal. You need to let him have his fun. Hell, you might even venture out on a limb and sit down to watch some porn with him. My experience, and the experience of my girlfriends, has been that it adds excitement to your own lovemaking. You both get turned on, you get ideas for things to try out, etc. Go to the video store together and pick some out that you both are interested in. There is some very tasteful porn out there that I bet you will enjoy. But even if you don't, let your man have it. Obsessing over it will ruin your relationship.
2007-08-25 14:37:16 · answer #3 · answered by meagain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When someone is doing something from his own will, there might be some attraction in him for those actions. So, u better try to discuss positively with him. I mean be gentle with him, try to know his manner, learn abt his likings and his pains. Then try to resolve his pains or dispressions. U may help him to be happier more if u can be very gentle, modest and honest with him. If u can arise a good belief in u inside him, if u can win his heart perfectly, then u can control his deeds what u don't like for him. So, don't be hopeless. Try to understnad him first and then try to win his heart with ur best friendship. One day u can change him. But u shud be legal in having sex with him also. Because one illegal thing cannot help u changing another illegal thing. Best of luck!
2007-08-25 13:08:39 · answer #4 · answered by surely_yours80 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are not into it and he keeps it out of your life then I would say it is OK. Several reasons for this, if you forbid him or ask him to quit something he is not ready to do on his own then it will grow into an argument over it and he will lie to you about it, that is something you do not want to get started. Another reason is if he does so and then comes to see you, he will last longer and that means more time for you to reach climax or multiple climaxes. See it is a win win situation for you. When he is ready, and as he matures he will probably slowly leave it behind. Me, being a guy knows, when your partner ask you not to do something and your not ready to do so it puts a wedge in the relationship. Good luck.
2007-08-25 13:11:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not wrong, but u shouldn't have asked, i mean, it's kinda bad to just STOP all of a sudden. Like drugs, you take it or whatever, u become Dependant and when you stop suddenly you die. He won't die, but he might have a lot of sexual tension later and he might want to have more sex with you, porn is hard to resist. It's not important, it's just hard to get over. You could watch some porn with him, spice things up, learn some new moves?
2007-08-25 13:03:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry . Too complicated a question for a simple answer. In reality, anytime he masturbate it should(ideally) be to your pics, or thoughts of you. Otherwise it's emotional infidelity. I speak from experience. You weren't wrong to ask, but did you give reason why you are feeling that way? So regardless of the whether it's important to us to masturbate, its preferable to do it w/o extraneous porn. Give him a few suggestive snapshots of you. Just be sure you can trust him enough to not put them on the web.
2007-08-25 13:27:47 · answer #7 · answered by dwayne j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with a man masturbating...in fact, it's quite natural for man men and women in our society.
You should allow him to do this if he so wishes. It doesn't mean that you have to agree with it, but it's not fair for you to expect him to stop if this is something he has been doing for a good part of his life. It's nothing that is harmful to him or anyone else and honestly, there are more important things for you to be worried about in life!
2007-08-25 13:02:27 · answer #8 · answered by endo_chic 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If he is a Born Again Christian,,, masturbation is wrong in the eyes of GOD.
Because it is absolutely impossible to achieve a Climax without thinking apon a naked woman.
And when a man does Fantisize, it's called committing *Adultery of the Heart* in GOD's eyes.
That's a Sin to GOD.
But if he is not 'Saved' and a Unbeliever in CHRIST, masturbation is O-kay. Because he's not GOD's Child yet so he can not answer for all his {wrongful sin.} He's in Spiritual darkness still till CHRIST comes into his heart.
Hum. Hope I did'nt get off the subject of your question = )
2007-08-25 13:27:41 · answer #9 · answered by SteverZ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Masturbation has nothing to do with a realtionship. Maybe he gets urges at bad times. Maybe his sex drive is higher than what you want and that helps balance things out. Unless you feel neglected, it's nothing to worry about.
2007-08-25 13:31:43 · answer #10 · answered by riding128 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋