Last year, when I discovered my good friend/love interest was addicted to nicotine gum for the last nine years, I decided to help him out. He lives in another state, so I had him send his gum to me. I would mail him daily doses in attempt to wean him off the nicotine. We started out with 8 pieces per day, then 7, then 6...you get the picture. I bought the envelopes, stamps, etc. It took me a lot of time to package and address the envelopes and take them to the mail box... But last November, we succeeded and he was off the gum, supposedly. He whined and complained about the side effects of going off the gum the entire time. Anyway, we recently had a spat and he used three pieces of gum, and then I saw online where he has purchased gum again. Gum costs as much as cigarettes and that is one reason we were getting him off the gum. Anyway, my intuition is telling me he never quit the gum in the first place...or else why would he go back on it after being off it nearly a year?
2007-08-25 12:53:13 · 12 answers · asked by soul cyster ttc#1 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Also I just need to mention that I found he bought the gum, he did not tell me this...I just happened to find out. And it took a while for him to admit he used three pieces last weekend, and that was after I convinced him to tell the truth.
2007-08-25 12:55:57 · update #1
Hi there, You were trying to be a good friend. But from personal experience when one is addicted to any type of drug, which includes cigarettes because of the nicotine the person who is addicted is really embarrassed, and ashamed to admit it. Especially because they know internally that they are harming themselves.
I am in the exact same situation. I lied to my brother for a while. Then one day I just poured it all out, and cried like a baby. I was 60 years old then. I am now 66.
No dearie, he did not fool you. He fooled himself. But you cannot judge him. You have never been in his shoes. It is a life time battle when you are addicted to anything. That is why they always say "One day at a time"when a person stops any kind of addiction.
If you love him then stick by him, and don't judge him. Believe me he is suffering beyond your comprehension. Accept him the way he is, or just leave him. But if you truly love him, you will accept him. One day by some miracle he just might stop.
Blessings to you both.
2007-09-01 23:49:24 · answer #1 · answered by michelebaruch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to be 100% sober to be a counselor. I am training to be a counselor and I still socially drink, I am not an alcoholic and I don't abuse alcohol, so it is perfectly fine. I am counseling people who can't just have one drink or drink socially, they have to have 10. On that note, he really should not be doing cocaine, especially if he has had past problems with drugs. Sometimes people with past drug and alcohol problems make great counselors because they can really relate to the person, other times it can trigger their need to drink/do drugs and threatens their sobriety. He is probably not trying to be hypocritical, he is most likely addicted to drugs and cannot help himself. Keep being there for him and talk to him about getting help. Maybe you can tell him to view himself as a patient he sees, if a patient came to him with a past drug problem and said they were just doing cocaine when they drink, I am sure your friend would advise them against this. Deep down he probably knows his behavior will have some serious consequences and will put him on a bad path. Good luck. You sound like a great friend.
2016-05-17 22:59:51 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My father gave up cigs about 6 years ago with the help of nicotine gum, great until we start smelling smoke from him maybe a year or two later. Today he is addicted to the gum and the cigs!! and i mean he needs one as much as the other bigtime! I smoke myself but when you see one of your own like this its tough
2007-08-25 13:16:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like he is just using you. You need to wean yourself from him, and tell him to find someone else. Dr's are good about helping people kick the nicotine habit.
2007-09-02 12:37:03 · answer #4 · answered by liz h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its normal for some people to quite for some time and go back. Something probably just got him upset and so he went back to it. There is a possibility that he never quit in the first place i think you should try and convince him to tell you the truth.
2007-08-31 17:57:42 · answer #5 · answered by peaches 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Addictions are extremely hard to overcome. People who are addicted tend to be compulsive liars. You must be careful of anything they tell you. Pray to God to intervene and help your friend to be healed completely. Think about suggesting a twelve step program to him where they provide sponsors who have been where he is now and they can help through his difficulties.
2007-09-02 11:46:40 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he blow bubbles with it? Part of the problem is that when you blow bubbles with nicotine gum it causes oxytine an addictive drug that mixes oxygen and nicotine.
I know so many people addicted to oxytine.
2007-08-31 01:27:17 · answer #7 · answered by Joey Michaels 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Back off Warden.
2007-09-02 07:00:04 · answer #8 · answered by candle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's too uncommon for people to go back to their addictions after a year. I've heard people who quit for a while, then go back to it, be it one or five years.
2007-08-25 13:05:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
my gosh, he is doing what he chooses to do , I am sure he doesn't need anyone hassling him over gum!
2007-09-02 09:15:23 · answer #10 · answered by cheri h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋