His good traits
1.loving/devoted dad(his child from 1st marrage)
2.supporting exhusband(takes "the high road" with his ex for his son's sake)
3.no drugs/drinking
4.hard worker/good job
5.smart/clean cut
Ok sounds good right? now for the 'bad traits"
1.history of cheating(left wife for old gf then left old gf for me)
2.temper(never hit me but can sware and yell alot)
3.has crazy/controlling exwife
4.money issues(asked me to pay off his debt once 25k and did the if you love me you would do it)
5.has to be reminded of my b-day/valentines day(we went "dutch" on both these days)
6.In the 5 yrs i got flowers once.
2007-08-25 12:20:58 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
PLEASE re-think this whole engagemnt thing OR consider going into pre-marrtal counseling. You want to be HAPPY in a marriage. If you are experiences doubts NOW, follow your intuition!!!!!
What's on the outside, doesn't necessarily make up for what's on the inside.
If he refuses counseling . . . you have your answer right there!!!!!
If you wrote "Dear Abby", I'll bet she would give you similar advice!
GOOD LUCK, hon!
2007-08-25 12:28:27 · answer #1 · answered by penwrite5 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And your still with him? Ok bad traits -6 good traits 5 see a pattern? You're not his daughter so #1 on the good is null,#2 has nothing to do with you( unless you end up an ex) #3&4 are good but with #5 remember Ted Bundy was that way too. Too many bad traits to be compensated by good traits. It's not just you. B-days and Valentines day are a no-brainer when it comes to treating your lady special for a guy and I bought flowers every month for a lady I just liked not even a G/F So for a 5 yr attachment you should be getting a WHOLE lot more
2007-08-29 10:07:11 · answer #2 · answered by Fla Gypsy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it seems the good traits really have nothing to do with your relationship. The question is, is are you willing to leave with the bad traits for the rest of your life? You should have no doubts when you are going to marry someone. The temper and cheating trait is what gets me, those both effect you and the relationship. Sure he doesn't drink or do drugs, but if he is a jerk to you and makes you feel uncomfortable and scared then who gives a flying "F" if he is sober. Honey i think you need to re valuate your relationship and think about what you want.
2007-08-25 12:55:21 · answer #3 · answered by Nicole Z 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have been with him 5 years and only flowers once, paid off his debts, get yelled at, has history of cheating. Why don't you click on to this site and answer that question like it was someone else. I bet you would tell that person to run so fast, they would break the speed of sound. Any time you are put last, even by yourself, is the day you need to reevaluate yourself.
2007-08-25 12:36:22 · answer #4 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you think you deserve a guy who cheats, swears and manipulates. that is the real question. What will you do in the future to recognize these traits as soon as you see the red flags? 5 years you put up with it? And if he is so short-tempered is he really a great dad?
Please leave and make some changes within yourself regarding choosing men and having healthy relationships.
2007-08-25 12:35:39 · answer #5 · answered by ciao_gina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say my dear but; you need to find someone else. First; the bad outweighs the good AND the bad is really bad! If he laid a guilt trip on you to pay off HIS debt; this guy is a jerk and totally selfish to boot.
It is great that he is a good dad etc. But seriously; how good can he be if he isn't willing to step up and take care of his own debts. Also if he cheated on them he will certainly and without remorse cheat on you too; if he hasn't already! Please protect your heart and move on away from this cad.
I think deep down you know that is the right thing to do or you wouldn't have brought it up here; you know? Trust your gut. Please before it's too late and you get much heartache and misery. Big Hugs! Nana
2007-08-25 12:29:20 · answer #6 · answered by nanawnuts 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
RUN don't walk away from this guy.
Anyone who expects you to pay his bills, take his temper tantrums, is cheap and has a crazy, controlling ex -- oh, and is a cheater -- sounds like a self-centred, time bomb of crazy and misery waiting to explode all over your life.
Make sure you have a separate bank account, that the bills are separate and you have a landing pad in order FIRST, then break it off and get out of there. Good luck!
2007-08-25 12:27:06 · answer #7 · answered by Keztacular 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not you and as far as im concered ur better than him and my best advice would be to leave him cause it sounds like he cant stay with one person, is emotionally abusive, and is needy person who doesnt know wat the meaning responsibility is. HE is the one who should of paid the 25k and not telling u all that bs. HE should be able to remember ur b-day otherwise it sounds like hes just using u. And if he really loves u HE needs to do more romantic stuff. YOU R 2 GOOD 4 HIM! tell him 2 cut the crap or hes not worthit because ur 2 good 4 him.
2007-08-25 12:46:33 · answer #8 · answered by Emery 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a self indulgent azz
and if you dont think you deserve better than that
then you are in the right relationship
I mean pay my dept you would if you loved me
(Please!.. it should be help me find a way to pay my dept off and Im sorry to have to ask for your help)
Flowers even picked by the road side would suffice.
Does he need to hit you to abuse you. NO.
verbal abuse can be just as harmful as a fist in the face it scars just as long,
MMMM
a loving devoted cheat that you cant trust be cause his old track record is coming back to haunt you.
2007-08-25 12:31:47 · answer #9 · answered by slick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, he's probably already cheated on you. I'd get outta that relationship fast and find someone else who has a lot more good traits and a lot less of those bad traits.
Everyone is gonna have bad traits, but it's gonna matter how serious and impacting they are on relationships.
It seems like you could find someone better. (:
2007-08-25 12:27:35 · answer #10 · answered by jbahhh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋