my lawyer said it could be awhile before its final... i live by myself and have been going out and meeting lots of poeple . is it right to say i'm single now.... (((( i just want to get on with my life..))))
2007-08-25 12:18:53 · 28 answers · asked by michaelpz76 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Although I think it's good for you to try to "get on with your life", I don't think you are approaching this the right way.
Barely two months have passed since your separation, and you are already thinking about dating?? You need time to think things over and learn from this experience...and starting to consider getting involved with someone else is a very risky and hurtful thing, IMO. We all need to feel loved and respected; but we also need time to see where we made mistakes so we can make better choices next time.
As for the post....I'd say "I'm separated and getting divorced". No lying there.
Whatever you decide to do, I hope it makes you happy.
Take care.
2007-08-25 13:27:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course you can say you're single -- if you you think it's right to tell lies. Imagine a hypothetical situation in which you start seeing a woman. Up front, you lie to her that you're single. Then, the relationship takes off . . . skyrockets! After awhile, you begin to feel that this woman could be the love of your life. She seems perfect for you, gorgeous in your eyes, and possesses all the qualities you want in a woman. It's months into the relationship, and finally, you realize you want to marry her. She feels the same, so she asks you about your feelings regarding marriage. What can you do? You hem and haw, and the conversation ends up with her feeling hurt and vaguely insecure. Then, something, I don't know what, happens and she finds out you are married and you lied to her. Angry, being a good person, she breaks off the relationship feeling betrayed.
It could happen. You risk way more by lying and telling a woman you are single than by telling her the truth that you are in the process of a divorce.
And that's just the practical reason. In my opinion, the moral reasons for being truthful should be self-explanatory, but that doesn't seem to be the case for you.
2007-08-25 19:28:44 · answer #2 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are single.Their is no lying at all. I also feel you should let her know your going through a divorce only if you are planning to get serious with someone.(which I hope your smart enough not to do yet) Keep in mind that the woman who you are divorcing is most likely already seeing someone else.Also, women rarely have a gap between relationships, but instead have relationships that overlap.Be smart. be picky and most importantly ,enjoy being single!
2007-08-25 20:10:17 · answer #3 · answered by trich w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, legally you aren't - and morally it is wrong.
When I was dating, I had a firm rule - I wouldn't date anyone who wasn't FULLY divorced, because I #1 - didn't want to be someone's rebound & #2 felt I deserved someone who was truly free and clear to move on with their life
If a guy told me he was single, then I found out he was just separated - I'd question his honestly on other things - and would probably tell him to take a hike.
I'm a family law attorney, and I deal with people getting divorced every day, and as ok as you are with it right now, it is going to be an emotional roller coaster, even people who are so ready to get divorced, still have emotional issues - it isn't right for you to look to bring someone into that.
2007-08-25 22:03:37 · answer #4 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are single. Does it feel marvelous? Free at last. I started getting separate in February. I felt better almost immediately. Many women I know stepped froward to offer themselves as soon as my ex and I announced the separation.
I am in no rush to get recoupled, though I am sure the single life is not my cup of tea.
Just being out from under the weight of the constant criticism feels so much lighter.
2007-08-25 19:25:43 · answer #5 · answered by fortuno 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not say you are getting a divorce. If you have been told it might take a while to have it final, it is not being truthful to the girls you are meeting. Let them know it might take a while before it is final, and that you are not ready to start into a serious relationship.
2007-08-25 19:27:23 · answer #6 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not single until the divorce is final. Telling a woman that you are in the midst of a divorce is being truthful with her and shows her you can be trusted. That is unless you are the reason for the divorce because of flandering.
2007-08-25 19:24:57 · answer #7 · answered by paulaj2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's always best to tell the truth..."I'm currently going through a divorce" is the correct way to word this, even though you have NO intentions of going back with your ex or anything. Saying "I'm single" and then later having a woman find out you're not...at least not *technically*...is lying...and she will take it as you lying to her if you try that.
I'm not trying to be mean to you, I'm trying to help you avoid inadvertantly misleading anyone during the time it takes for your divorce to become final.
Good luck to you!
2007-08-25 19:23:46 · answer #8 · answered by bitadkins 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Say what you mean and mean what you say - "going thru a divorce" is acceptable terminology. My divorce took 7 years, so, after 2 I bifurcated so i could LEGALLY say I was divorced. I needed to be free. The financial stuff was tied up for 5 more years.
I was leary of men who were reluctant to tell the truth about their status....like they might still be living with the soon to be ex, etc. Be honest.....no need to dwell on it, just shoot straight!
2007-08-25 19:25:04 · answer #9 · answered by that judi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You won't be single until you get a final decree of divorce. So no you can't tell women that you are single. You are STILL married and will be married until that final decree of divorce. If you tell women that you are single you are a liar.
2007-08-26 03:14:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋