How do you force yourself to go outside and meet people when you are entirely by yourself, shy, and scared?

Question

It's almost like avoidant personality disorder. I cannot describe why I can't just go out and do it like family and friends suggest, and if and when I actually do set foot out there and see people, instincts make me turn away from there faces, as if to avoid being seen. Picture a guy like this in the very middle of a college campus of over 10,000, and yet he still can't get it right. What should I do?

Answer 1

You will change your behavior when (and ONLY when) the pain of your existence as it is now outweighs whatever comfort you gain from solitude. I don't make light of your situation; quite the opposite, I realize this is an enormous hurdle to negotiate. But I also know that you can do this, and far easier than you can imagine is possible. You have to change your outlook on things, and this isn't a long, drawn out process...real change can take place the instant you make the mental adjustment, and you reinforce that progress with babysteps toward your goal each day. Begin by having one brief encounter with one new person each day. It needn't be a huge conversation; just a short "hello...how are you, nice weather we're having" kind of thing. (Next week, in addition to encountering one new person per day, you can expand your conversation a bit, and even look into following up with some folks you met earlier.) Slowly, methodically, and progressively you will move past this barrier and enjoy yourself in the process. The turtle doesn't make any forward progress until he sticks his neck out, and so must you. Remember, if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten. Good luck to you, and keep in touch. Pick a person and do it now.

Answer 2

ther eis a show curenlty on VH1 is called "the pick up artist" take a look at it, you might get some pionters, know that this is a common problem. they also have classes in the community colleges on how to obtain better social skills

Answer 3

If I want to meet people, I get a friend to go with me and introduce me to people they know, that way I'm not just walking up to random people and trying to get them to talk to me.