Please explain to me why a mother wouldn't want to breastfeed her infant?

Question

I understand that some women say that they "didn't feel comfortable" breastfeeding. Is this because they were molested as children or something? I guess I just don't personally understand and am curious.

Answer 1

Molested and over sexualized society??? I highly doubt it. Like some of the other posts on here have said, there are many reasons why some mothers don't breastfeed, be it for medical reasons with the mother or child or because they simply chose not to. Not breastfeeding your child for any reason does not make you a bad or lazy mother. For those who are lucky enough to be able to, great! I applaud you. I agree, breast milk is best, but so far, the MAJORITY of the "bashing" posts I've seen are coming from those who are anti-bottle! If you REALLY want to know why a mother wouldn't want to breastfeed her child, ask the other women in your family, circle of friends, co-workers... I can't imagine that EVERY woman that you know with children, breastfed.

**ADD* Along with the thumbs up ratings. By asking this question here, most answers you'll get are merely opinion by those who see breastfeeding as the only option. JMHO

Answer 2

Here are some of the most common:

They might think that formula is "just as good" as breastmilk, having been told so by uninformed medical professionals or older people.

Some women are wrapped up in the sexualization of breasts and the idea of nursing a child with those sexual objects is hard to over come.

And yes, there are women who were molested and have a hard time reconciling the idea of nursing a child. This is usually overcome through talk therapy and can be resolved if the mother to be is willing.

Most women, however, try to nurse and are not supported or educated enough to keep nursing. They are sabotaged. They are told to supplement, that only "x" amount is good, or even undermined at the hospital where they delivered. Those are the women I have the most empathy for.

I know of several women who were told that they couldn't nurse and take a specific medication--only to find out that that they either could have, or that there was a similar drug that was nursing compatible. That's just LAZINESS by a medical professional.

It's particularly hard if your partner, mother, or mother in law are not supportive.

Some women are wrongly told that they shouldn't nurse if they don't eat well (it doesn't effect milk in that way) or if they smoke. Of course, nursing is always best, unless you have something serious like HIV.

I've heard of moms that think that they can't nurse and go back to work. I work full time and I am able to nurse exclusively by pumping.

It's also possible, but not probable that a woman doesn't make enough milk. The number of women who don't make enough milk is statistically TINY. It''s under 2% of women. The rest of women that think they had a low supply would have been able to bring it back with the proper steps but were probably failed by lack of support an a badly educated ped.

It can be hard at the beginning and if you don't have the right support or are given bad information, some moms just can get through that rough period.

Answer 3

I think women just need to be educated about the benefits of breastfeeding - but at the same time, women who give it an HONEST EFFORT, seek help from lactation consultants ect and still cant do it, should not be made to feel guilty. My 3 month old is currently on formula. Has been since she was a month and a half. She was in the NICU, with a breathing tube and couldnt eat. She was fighting for her life for about a month and I couldnt bring myself to leave her bedside long enough to pump or even eat a good meal. Some may say that I was selfish, but I did the best I could. It was not because I felt "uncomfortable". I actually enjoyed it, I loved the time we spent together... it was a bond and connection that was amazing.

Answer 4

I was a DDD before my milk came in and once they got engorged it "felt uncomfortable"...and no I was not molested.
The "uncomfortable feeling" was the tightening from my neck through my chest to my breast. It really was painful.
That alone did not deter me-I still breastfed for a while "being uncomfortable" but he would nurse for hours at a time and I became depressed and anxious.
After a week of not being myself and feeling like I was cooped up all alone in the house, my husband said to supplement with formula at night so I could get some sleep and he would feed our son.
That helped a little but I still couldn't find time to eat or nap or take care of myself during the day when my son nursed for an hour at a time and fed every two hours so I started giving him the bottle-which he finished in 15 minutes instead.
Once I started napping and making sure I ate, I felt much better.
I need to take care of myself so I could take care of him-I wanted to breastfeed but it just didn't work out that way.

Answer 5

Roughly 25% of women can't breastfeed due to lack of milk, medical problem with infant, medical problem with mother who may need to take medication that is not safe for a breastfeeding mother.

Many return to work quickly and don't want to start breastfeeding and then switchover. Certainly their choice. Others are simply grossed out. And yes, some do it for convenience so that someone else can help with the child.

There are many moms who DO want to breastfeed, but were unsuccessful for a variety of reasons. The most frustrating one, I'm sure, is when they get wrong information by a 'well meaning' but uninformed 'professional.' Then they think it's their fault when it was the stupid info they were given. Still others receive considerable harrassment from family members.

Hope that helps answer your question.

Answer 6

well, i am a mother who was heartbroken to not be able to breastfeed. while i pumped and gave it to him i stopped because i had other children i had to attend to. i spent all my time in the bedroom pumping and was never available for my other child. call it whatever you want.

why does it bother you if someone DOESN'T breastfeed.....like i was told on another topic...it's none of your BUSINESS...i'm sure there are other things that you may do with your infant that folks would be offended by but YOU do what's best for YOUR children and the rest will do what's BEST for theirs.....we all ( myself included) worry way too much on what everyone else is doing and we think that we are the only ones with the right answers......give it up....get your panties out of a twist and worry about your own.

if the folks on Y/A could vote i'm KNOW after some of the comments i have had on here that i am absolutely HANDS DOWN the WORST mother in the world...lol SOME of you are really quick to deem women bad mothers over breastfeeding.....if you are doing the best you can for your child then we don't need strangers calling us BAD MOTHERS..we all try our hardest and NONE of us should be put down.

Answer 7

I often wonder this too. I know many women who couldn't give a definitive answer about why they chose not to breastfeed. They would just make a funny face and say they didn't want to or didn't feel comfortable. I don't think they're bad mothers, just as I'm sure you don't, although many ignorant people (who have personal issues) will automatically assume that's what you're implying just by asking a legitimate question and trying to understand where other women are coming from. They have issues with their choices, and they deep down are angry... so ignore their nasty comments.

Answer 8

Well, I know some women do feel that way, but who cares why? If somebody feels uncomfortable for whatever reason, I don't feel like anyone should question their reasons.

I'm more bothered by women who act high and mighty because they do breastfeed, and make mothers who don't breastfeed feel like aliens. Everyone knows that there are many many reasons why some women choose not to breastfeed, like several people above me have listed. Going back to work is a big one.

Personally, I wanted to breastfeed my son, but when I had an emergency c-section, and was knocked out for hours, my son was given bottles. After that, my breasts didn't feed him fast enough. He latched on great and everything, but would get frustrated when it didn't come out as fast as the bottles. I didn't give up, and tried and tried, leaving my son and I both frustrated and upset. I finally started giving him formula, and pumped for the first few weeks so he would get some breast milk.

I'm amazed at how many women still act like I'm a bad mother because I am not breastfeeding my son. But honestly, I love that my husband can get up on the weekends sometimes to feed him, and he can bond with our son more. It's very helpful to me when I'm so tired. And honestly, half of the breastfeeding mothers will probably be letting their kids eat happy meals in 4 or 5 years. Very healthy right?

Answer 9

How about mothers who cannot breast feed their children due to medical issues...have a little compassion. Unless you know for a fact the mother "doesn't want" to breastfeed her child don't judge. I am one of them.
And as for the women who feel uncomfortable, maybe it is an issue of self awareness. Women in our culture have been forced to look at the perfect body for so long that we don't know how to love ourselves.

Answer 10

Some women are just not willing to breastfeed. It has nothing to do with any possible molestation, but a natural feeling. Although, breastfeeding is very healthy and has many advantages, not all women are able to do so. I guess it is just a personal preference.