we all know the first yrs are wonderful!! supposedly- but i think ive been married now 4 yrs, what will it be like? some one mentioned the five yrs block- is that when most divorces happen? will it always be hard? why is it so hard? n if i chose 2 leave how do you deal with making the wrong choice?
2007-08-25 10:53:15 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
mine was 7 years and over debts x
2007-08-25 10:58:01 · answer #1 · answered by sweetie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess every marriage is different; we all hit stress spots at different times. You have stresses when the kids start arriving; or worse still, if they don't start arriving; if one half loses their job; if a parent comes to live or dies; if they run into debt.
There are a million reasons for the going to get rough. Sometimes couples marry too young, and one starts to want different things as they grow and mature; what you want when you are 20 may not be what you want when you are 30 or 40. People fall out of love.
Some. the lucky few, and there IS an element of luck involved - sail through the years with little or no problem; hopefully, you will be one of these!
2007-08-25 11:14:34 · answer #2 · answered by marie m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey there, dont go looking for things, if you are happy, enjoy it. Not all marriages falter at 5 or 7 yrs.
You could make problems occur by watching for them or anticipating them. Should there be a problem, try to sit down together, dont get nasty or start shouting, but try to discuss it. I have been married for over 32yrs, ok it isnt what it was but the problems in mine didnt start until the time of our 25th anniversary, that was due to outside influences, and a weak husband, who just had to be Mr Wonderful.
I have friends that have been married for same time, yes they have had little problems, but they were strong, and worked through them together! The thing to remember is that the other partner doesnt know you have a problem, unless you tell them ( as nicely as you can). Anyway, Good luck, and well done on making the 4 yrs, it is an achievement these days.
2007-08-25 11:37:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Know that you can negotiate almost anything.
Know that this is your marriage and you have the power to live it like you want to.
Take action, talk solutions, encourage and praise.
Ask for what you need and give what you can.
Remember we all need to feel important, accepted, respected and loved.
There is no room in marriage for blame, criticism, neglect, or abuse. If there is a problem, then fix it.
Don't cheat. If your needs are not being met, then work to fix it. If you plan to cheat, then leave first.
Ask your spouse what would make them happy? What can you do to brighten their life?
There are some deal breakers: Abuse and drugs are not something a spouse can fix for the other. Separate for at least a year and see if they get their head on. Otherwise, run for your life.
If you are bored in your marriage, then spice up your life. This is your life you are living. Make it the one you want.
If you choose to leave, then learn from your mistakes and take your new knowledge on to better your life and next relationship.
Good luck.
2007-08-25 11:10:43 · answer #4 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been married for three years, so I can't say much from experience.
On the other hand, I have heard from other people that when the honeymoon phase is over (after the first few years) and then its down to routine and just all around "regular-ness," people get frustrated because they think the excitement is gone, and then assume that they are falling out of love with their significant other. I think finally getting settled is hard for some people to adjust to. In my opinion, you aren't truly settled down when you get married, thats comes with time and not the exact second you say "I do."
Hey, I could be totally wrong though, like I said before, I'm just learning!
Wish you and your husband all the luck for a continued and truly happy marriage for many years to come!
2007-08-25 11:07:21 · answer #5 · answered by stase 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All of marriage is hard work- you have to work at it and keep it alive. Of course the novelty wears off a you get stuck in routines, but you have to focus on why you married. You made vows to love and look after each other til death you do part- not until you get fed up. If you go into a marriage with that idea then its doomed to start with. You get out what you put in and the more you work together at it the more you are likely to succeed- and your love for each other should grow deeper and deeper. Never expect it to be easy though because its not.
2007-08-26 04:23:08 · answer #6 · answered by the Phoenix 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't agree with what others say's about 4 years or 5 years, the hardest part of my marriage was when I discovered my husband's affair with the married woman,after 22 long years..of being faithful with him...
2007-08-25 12:34:49 · answer #7 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you've invested so much of your time and energy into another person; you've made a solemn promise; and you still know there's love, even if it's hiding underneath the surface. This website will show you how to save a marriage and avoid divorce, even if you're the only one trying https://tr.im/Hh72O
2015-01-29 18:53:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sickness,death,loss of a child,or cheating.All other things are only has hard has you want to make them.I have been with my hubby since I was 17 and married to him since I was 19.And since we got married so young we pretty much had to grow up together.So we had a lot of petty arguments and rough patches.But they will pass and things will get easier.And if they don't or if the bad continually outweighs the good.Than maybe you two just aren't a good match.You two might just not be met for each other.It took the loss of our first baby in our early twenties to wake us up and make us realize that all of the other crap didn't matter.And that we need to grow up and learn to compromise in order to make this thing work.Give yourself some time to adjust to your marriage.You don't want to rush into anything you may regret later.Goo Luck!
2007-08-25 15:05:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first 50 years are the hardest.
2007-08-25 11:05:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
For the first 2 years we had a hard time communicating.
We thought that meant talking to each other....but after 3 months of counseling we found out you also have to listen & understand what your spouse is saying.
We've been married 32 years now.....and it's been wonderful.
2007-08-25 11:09:34 · answer #11 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋