"Young" senior still wanting it badly, wife unwilling.......?

Question

We have been married thirty years this November. Ten years out of the blue she decided she no longer was interested. I refuse to hit the streets or bar hop. I'm truly at a lost, tired of gratifying myself. Someone help!!!

Answer 1

I'm sorry your wife is insensitive about this. It could be a physical problem or even a depression. Are you religious at all? If so, read Ephesians. Share it with her. She is supposed to be willing to honor the marriage bed and her vows. It explains there that the body now belongs to the spouse in both cases and that you are not to deny each other.
Do this gently. Perhaps you can seek some spiritual counseling with a minister that is sensitive in this area and won't feel you are old and should just get over it.

Also, ask her to see a doctor. Hormonal depletion is normal at her age and it may also be a reason. Tell her you love her, desire her and you want that part of your lives together back. A sensitive gynecologist can offer suggestions that you'll need to carefully consider together as hormonal therapy can be dangerous. Perhaps there are other alternatives. Maybe even some topicals that may help with less risk. In the end it is her body as far as taking drug therapy, but be tender with her in your persuasion and perhaps she will be willing to do something.
If all that fails, stick to your principals. You made a vow for better or worse.

Answer 2

Remarrying without divorce to 1st spouse is prohibited and sentenced to reformatory ,marriage is a variety of dedication to stay consistently with a individual it is not a play attempt to alter along with her make some compromises interior limits .Thee is not any assure which you will locate a suitable new significant different ..If nonetheless there is not any thank you to shop marriage then you certainly ought to report the case of divorce and can get on condition that any floor is proved that could take plenty time even a decade .

Answer 3

Sure.---some things to think about..... It may just be you, sweetie. Guys think they are just wonderful lovers... They have an erection and tada..... "ipso facto, I am potent, I am therefore still a lover"....oh, how wrong. Surprise!!! Every woman ought to have a manual attached that says, "How to make love to this woman". We don't. Your penis is for your pleasure and sweetie, your lips, your mouth, your tongue and fingers are for hers---maybe for an hour (We are good at faking it, just to get it over with... right down to vaginal contraction of .9sec apart... you guys are at times clueless....)....most women get little pleasure from insertion and for sure not much in the way of an orgasm. And nothing if we are talking about those orgasms that make a woman's eyes roll way back in back in her head!!! ..... her vaginal tissue is about as sensitive as your scrotal tissue.... same embryonic layer, same sensitivity. Learned anything yet?

Now read a book... For Each Other by Lonnie Barbach, THE sex therapist in the nation today. Her other stuff is good too. Find it in any bookstore, cheap and in paperback....worth every dime.

On her side, this is not to say that you can again make the lady interested in sex..... hormones play nasty tricks on us, Estertest is used in post menapausal women, and I'd kill the doc who wouldn't give it to me. As well, all that crap that has gone on for 20+ years about estrogen has just indeed turned back to crap....And all those women who stopped taking Premarin for fear that the next week they'd have breast cancer are finding all that was just really not so true.(Colon cancer far more common in women than breast cancer... 1 in 8 women will get a breast cancer, but 7 in 8 will not!!!) With no estrogen, women then suffered vaginal dryness, lack of drive,lack of vaginal elasticity, their faces falling off their head, and their fronts at their waistlines...yadayada.... keeping plastic surgeons really busy. She might benefit from a trip to her ob-gyn.

There was a reason Casanova had women standing in line to be with him.... the guy fully understood women are slow cookers, and men are poppers...his pleasure came from pleasuring women, not pleasuring himself...

Read, hon. And if all else fails, see a sex therapist... yup, there is such a critter.

Answer 4

Ask her to go to therapy and if she won't try therapy find a girlfriend. There are lots of mature women that would love a man to pay some loving attention to them. Join a YMCA in your area. Many loder women attend and your wife might even go with you.

Answer 5

I sympathize with you entirely. You are far too young to stop that activity, it's bad enough that old age eventually takes it away. Prayers will be the answer.

Answer 6

did you tell her you can still dance? next find out why she doesn't. than get some professional help. you've been married way too long to go crusin around town cuz of a sugar fit.

Answer 7

Do you and your wife talk? I don't want to get graphic here but there are ways you and your wife can play in such a way that you get you need and she gets closeness and affection.

Answer 8

A woman is responsible for providing for her husband's needs, emotionally, sexually and otherwise.

Tell her simply that you want a WHOLE marriage, not just part of one, and if she isn't willing to be fully married to you, you can always consider divorce.

Or get her permission to have a lover. Your choice.

Answer 9

I doubt it was out of the blue... perhaps you haven't been communicating about your sex life.. or perhaps you weren't listening...
Why don't you start talking to her now, instead of asking us.

Answer 10

Have your wife visit her GYN.....it sounds like hormones and this can be fixed easily.

Cheating is never the answer.....no matter what problems you have.