When i was dating my guy, i really had more fun than now we are married. I find so much fault in him. The last time, it has to do with my pregnancy and the fatigue but he showed no response of helping me out and this time, it has to do with me being sick, he is not caring at all.
why is it that marriage is kinda sore but friendship is fun?
2007-08-25 09:28:32 · 15 answers · asked by Doll 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Doll you have got to continually keep working on your friendship while married. Your mate should be more than a partner but should be your best friend as well. Perhaps a good talk (like you did when you two were buddies) would help to put things back on track. Best of luck in both your relationship and parenthood.
2007-08-25 09:36:49 · answer #1 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships tend to "settle." That is why people say it takes more than just love for a relationship to survive. Romance is not a constant, but mutual respect, admiration, loyalty, and friendship can be and they really helpa marriage stay intact through the tough times when romance isn't in the equation for whatever reason.
Talk this out with your guy. let him know of your feelings and expectations. Saying that "he should know" isn't always fair. He may have grown up differently so doesn't understand the basics of caring for someone in your previous and current condition.
I hope this helps in some small way. Good luck!
2007-08-25 09:38:37 · answer #2 · answered by Tibbar 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not sure I can help you but we have been married over 40 years and are still the best of friends. We have found that our first priority has to be making our partner happy instead of ourselves. If both parties work on this idea and make sure the communication lines are open and working well,then everything is good. Yes, we all have our moments but between our first priority and a bit of compromising as well as a lot of talking, it all works out and we do have a ball. We find that on an average, way too many people put themselves and their wants above all else and that just won't work.
2007-08-25 11:43:56 · answer #3 · answered by nidan 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because when you are just dating you are free to leave whenever you like. You have no responsibility to anyone but yourself. You don't have to put-up with crap if you don't want to and you can leave if you want.
When you are married you have to deal with all that. Marriage is work. Dating is not. The trick is making your marriage just like dating all the time.
Why has your husband changed? Why have you changed? Because when you are dating you are on your best behavior, still wearing that mask that hides your inner self. When you are married you see that person everyday and you see through it.
Also, when you are dating you are in lust, and that lust blinds you to all the other person's faults.
Again, make marriage like dating and you'll be happy.
2007-08-25 09:57:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you can walk away from a friendship any time. You have to stick to a marriage to understand the benefits of family, loyalty, and companionship. Marriages are not successful because everything is perfect. They're successful because the partners work at it.
2007-08-25 09:37:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I am sure that you will have heard the phrase "familiarity breeds contempt".
When you are dating, both sides make an effort & do not usually see each other with all of the unpleasant bits & the daily drudge.
2007-08-25 09:45:54 · answer #6 · answered by christine460986 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think some people forget about the little things and become complacent. Talk to him about how you feel and try to see if you can solve your situation. Marriage is a bond of love that will grow - keep working at it. x
2007-08-25 09:33:05 · answer #7 · answered by Mum-Ra 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you expected him to change from who he was - people dont, and they resent the drive to change them and become less responsive.
if he was the caring type before hand then he'll be the caring type after. you picked him for the reasons oif who he was - why should he change to be who he cant be?
if you place expectations that just arent who he is - you will only succeed in making him distant from you - because you will be signalling very clearly that who he is you dont want.
that will kill a lot of fun.
2007-08-25 10:07:30 · answer #8 · answered by Andy C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because before you only saw him for a few hours a weeks and it was easy for you both to be on your best behaivour with each other, now you have to be nice to each other ALL the time..
2007-08-25 09:57:35 · answer #9 · answered by growing inside 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know, but it's true isn't it.
I was with my ex for 9 years before we got married. After that, it fell apart pretty rapidly. Now I've found someone nicer and I shan't ruin it by marrying him!
2007-08-25 09:36:49 · answer #10 · answered by finch 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋