No emotion when leaving family and friends at deaths door?

Question

Hello

I am usually a very sensitive person, so much so that I would not leave a baby crying or allow someone to do anything that could be even slightly harmful, automatically.

But I have a problem with my heart, and I will be dead soon.
I know that all my family and friends will be gone and yet for some reason I feel no emotion and have not cried once, not even in the 5 years I know this illness is killing me. It is uncurable.
I do however feel guilt if I think about it.

I do not want to react in horror and sadness, but I do not want the guilt of knowing I am not either?

Why am I reacting like this?

Answer 1

Two reasons you might react like this, maybe more, I am getting going. First, I am sorry to hear about your condition.
First, the news may be overwhelming to you. Such a feeling of being overwhelmed can leave us numb and that makes us think we don't feel anything when in reality the pain is so great we HAVE stopped feeling the pain.
Another reason may be denial.
When people get news like yours, they go through the same stages of grief that Kubler-Ross describes. Of course, not everyone goes through all the stages in the same order.
I think you should give yourself some time to absorb the news. It is good to keep a clear head. One has to prepare. Maybe you feel, and I hope you do, that from a personal point of view you feel prepared. That can come from living a good life without regrets.
Don't feel guilty that you do not feel the way you think you should. Why worry? Do the best you can.No one can really tell you the right way to live, we must go our own way.
I wish you the best.

Answer 2

I think this is life's way of helping us leave this life and loved ones! I was caught in the Kansas City Plaza flood of '77; was being sucked under a car by the horrendous cross currents. All thoughts of my dearest family and young daughter, left me; I was filled with the most euphoric sense of love and BEAUTY! I think it's shock that sets in. At least this is the case of drowning. In my case, I was "shocked" by a voice near my face, saying, "You can't do this to Karen!!" Twice, it said the same. I was a divorced, single parent of my little girl. I was 44, and in otherwise, good health. She had no one else to care for her! This brought me back to "reality" and I screamed blood murder until two men came to life me out of the water and into safety! I'm sorry you're facing death--my mother, as she was dying, said she wished there was some other "exit plan"--other than death and dying--often in tramautic manners. Do NOT feel bad, re your emotional lack of involvement! This method of exit actually HELPS!! Remember that this helps your family!! It you were wailing and crying, think how much harder it would be for them!!!! Your heart problem is probably cutting down on your oxygen intake??? This helps tolerate our leaving. God Bless you!! The physicists say that energy cannot be destroyed--it only changes forms!! I so believe this...hope you can, too.

Answer 3

You are probably reacting like this because you have shunned yourself away from emotion due to your incurable illness. What you should know is that death is inevitable no matter who you are, where you come from, how old you are or how much you make. We come into this world knowing that one day we will inevitably day. Most of us hope that death will be painless and will come after most goals have been reached and accomplished but unfortunately many people die a tragic death each day. Know this, Jesus Christ came into this world so that everyone who believes that he came in the flesh, died on the cross, resurrected on the third day and ascened into heaven to sit at the right hand of God until judgement day to save us from our sins so that DEATh wont be an issue. All you have to do is believe that he died for you, welcome him into your heart, try to live a sin free live and trust and know that when you die the Lord will be waiting for you with open arms and your spirit will live forever. Everything that happened here on earth that was so painful and agonizing you wont feel when you are in heaven. "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” (Matthew. 5:4) Take care stay focused and God bless you. :) "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son so that whosoever believeth in Him shall not persih but have EVERLASTING life." John 3:16

Answer 4

i think you are in shock,and you dont want to face the problem.you need to go to your friends and family,and discuss this issue. some times when you have enough faith,you automatically think that every thing is OK,so u forget and go on with your daily living.it also may be that you found peace in this. good luck and god bless you.

Answer 5

Not enough info to answer honestly.

Answer 6

your past emotions. there so deep inside u cant feel them