He told me that I make men this way?How can I stop men from acting this way with me.My ex husband was the same
Should I be careful? I met this guy online in June.We have been dating eachother ever since.Lately he has?
began telling me that he wants me to move to his city. We live only 30 min away from each other.I dont have my own apartment because I have to help my grandmother,she wants me here.He has been looking for apartments in his city for me.The rent is really high where he lives.Why does he want me to just pick up and move there to be with him.The only help that he has offered is to rent a car and help move my belongings from here to there.He said that I am always coming to his place and he doesnt want to come to mine because it is too far.Could he be abusive?
Is this a warning?
Should I be carefull?
Does this mean that he wants to get married?Should I be carefull?
I'm torn. I have been dating this man for about two months now.Lately he has been telling me that he wants me to go to Arizona in November to meet his family,friends,everyone.H... and I live here in California and he wants to move to New York with him next year.He asked me last weekend if I can have children.I'm a little hesitant because he has a really BADDD temper.He got mad at me and punched the wall.We went on an outing to the park. I told him that I needed to go to the bathroom.When I got back from the bathroom he showed me his camera.He had followed me and took pictures of me as I went to the bathroom aal the way until I went inside.I remember stopping to talk to a lady about her dog,he took pictures of that too.Am I jumping to conclusions or should I be careful
2007-08-25 08:29:49 · 13 answers · asked by KISS ME♥*´`*•.¸★ 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
Wow kid. Just stay cool, focused, calm, and relaxed and stay helping your grandmother. A true friend first will want you to do that and not just claim you to take possession of you for the rest of your life. It sounds like you have to do everything his way with no compromise. And that sounds scary. He may even become dominating and extremely possessive and possibly abusive to you later on.
That's just my impression of the guy.
Relax and chill. Love will come your way when you least expect it. And it will come natural to you. Maybe there is a male friend you have now in the background that you think of only as a friend, which he really is. Them is the best kind.
But whatever you do not jump from the frying pan into the fire. If you are a believer pray...lots.
It's better to live without regrets.
2007-08-25 09:29:51 · answer #1 · answered by Uncle Remus 54 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm hearing a lot about what he wants and very little about what you want. I'm also seeing that he cares nothing for the fact that you have some very important reasons for not moving to his city, namely your granmother who really seems to need you and the fact that the rent in his area is too high. I also see that he's moving a lot faster than you are comfortable with; even without factoring in his temper, he's showing a lot of the warning signs for a potential abuser. I think you are right to be concerned and good for you that you're starting to learn from your past mistakes and question when you see something that looks way too familiar! My advice would be to break off things with this guy, you already know where this is heading, I think you just needed some support for what you already knew you had to do. Please be very careful in how you go about this! There should be a domestic violence organization near you, so I would suggest you contact them to safety plan and you might want to think about some counseling. You've been through a lot, and that takes a toll on anyone; you shouldn't have to deal with all of this by yourself. Counseling, especially from someone trained in dealing with DV issues can help you figure out why you keep gravitating towards abusive men and what you can do to change that pattern. I wish you well, and I am praying for you. Let me know if I can help.
2016-05-17 21:53:19 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your making a mistake. This is not a good guy. You are not worth a 30 minute drive? He wants you to be at his service, not he at yours. The reason is that he doesn't respect you or any other woman. He wants you to move near him so he can control you. If you decide to break up with him, I wouldn't tell him directly, just tell him your too busy...Until he pressures, then you can start to tell him that you don't enjoy being around him. If he wants to meet you, say no, but if you do agree, make sure it is in a public place like a restaurant. But if you do agree to meet him I promise you, you will regret. It's been only two months. He wants to move fast because it takes a lot of self control, hiding who he really is and that's very hard for him to do. If you wish to stay with him then prepare yourself for a life of violence and control.
2007-08-25 08:45:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Don't be careful, be GONE! This dude is a control FREAK. Your first clue was when he wanted to make you go through all the trouble of moving 30 minutes away, ignore your grandma, yadda yadda, when he would do no such thing himself. All of those things you list are little 'games,' tests,' and 'exercises,' meant to establish a pattern of you dropping everything in your life to be a component of his.
This is a pattern of a weak, impotent (not sexually) man. All the little victories he is trying to win boost his pathetic self-image. The only place your relationship can go is downhill. Drop this manipulative looser while you still have your own opinions, before you become stuck to this guy's sad, sad life. Once you are cut off from your friends and family, as he tries to substitute his for yours, as he tries to remove all ties from anything you could call 'yours,' and eventually isolate you in a little circle of his making, preferably with his baby. This will only justify (to him) that he owns you like an easy chair, a cat, or a favorite rug, and validate his passive-aggressive behavior when he wants to 'punish' you for not completely orbiting him and him only.
Dragging it out only adds to his feeling of entitlement, like you owe him something. Get rid of this potentially destructive looser before he convinces you that you do owe him something.
2007-08-25 09:01:29 · answer #4 · answered by eine kleine nukedmusik 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you just drop this guy and concentrate on taking care of your self and your grammy? If he really cared for you, he would come to you, not make you drive back and forth, okay, then he would be a gentleman, and there is no need for you or any other woman to give the time of day to any man who is not a gentleman. Respect yourself, let this guy find someone in his own neighborhood.
2007-08-25 11:02:01 · answer #5 · answered by Hot Coco Puff 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
no, you are not jumping to conclusions. he is an abuser, a control freak and a man you DO NOT want to get further involved with. honey, you stay and take care of your grandmother. you will be a lot better off than getting involved with that loser. you said he has a really bad temper and punched the wall. if you move in with him what's to stop him from punching you?
2007-08-25 08:40:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't know, this guy you're talking about doesn't sound to charming to me, he does sound a little abusive. But really I think your grandmother needs you more...
2007-08-25 08:36:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Certainly sounds like a control freak. And knowing that he has temper, why would you even consider any of his offers????? Doesn't sound healthy to me.
2007-08-25 08:39:44 · answer #8 · answered by lala 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
There are red flags all through your papragraphs. Run as far away from him as you can. He is controlling, manipulative and self serving. A camera, girl run, run, run!
2007-08-25 08:56:29 · answer #9 · answered by kim 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Got out of there quick I'm from AZ and i can tell you if he grew up there then chances are he is whacked
2007-08-25 08:44:28 · answer #10 · answered by flkenout 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋